Where I live, people inexplicably pronounce the "t" in "Wal-Mart" as a "k." About 50% of the time, they f*ck up the "l" in "Wal" too, so it comes out as incoherent grunting, somewhat approximating a "w" sound.

But it doesn't end there. They also invariably add an "s" after the "k" sound. And I'm quite certain I hear a random an ungrammatical apostrophe, though it's unclear whether it comes before or after the "s." It may in fact be both.

So I'm in Waw-Mark's' this morning shopping for groceries, and I take a detour into men's wear to see about finding some handkerchiefs to use as coronavirus masks. I can't find any, so I ask an employee for help.

She stares daggers at me.

An uncomfortable moment passes. I'm about to apologize out of sheer confusion, when she huffily says "follow me" and starts storming over to the underwear aisle.

She points to a package of white handkerchiefs on the shelf near some underwear and says "that's all we have left." I thank her and pick up the package, thinking she must be having a terrible day. Maybe someone close to her was hospitalized with COVID-19.

On the way back to the grocery section, I pass by her workstation at the dressing rooms. As I do, she's talking to a coworker. She says in a loud voice I have to think she intended me to hear:

"I'm not going to let Satan tell me what to wear on my face."

That's what happened to me today at Waw-Mark's'.

I wonder if this horse breeder guy knows her.