Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Everything you need to know concerning how not to get murdered in a quaint English village   (crimereads.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Village, Town, William Hurt, The Village Green, English village, Villages, Vicar, Daebu Island  
•       •       •

3723 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jan 2020 at 9:41 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Copy Link



40 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
Xcott [TotalFark]  
Smartest (4)   Funniest (6)  
2020-01-23 6:30:19 PM  
LOL at the "xylophones of death."
 
2020-01-23 6:36:20 PM  
I don;t know about all that, but I do know if you're ever in a quaint New England town, stay the hell away from the local author.  She won't kill you herself, but... well, let's just say the town has been f*cking decimated since she moved back.
 
2020-01-23 6:44:38 PM  
media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
brantgoose [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (6)   Funniest (6)  
2020-01-23 8:10:11 PM  
Stay the Hell away from Jessica Fletcher. No, wait. That's how not to be murdered in an American village.

Stay the Hell away from British detectives and country house parties. If a famous European detective, say a Belgian fellow, shows up, make your excuses and leave by an early train, going anywhere.
 
2020-01-23 9:45:16 PM  

ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha: [media.giphy.com image 480x480]


I was gonna say, keep Simon Pegg close by.  Or as far away as possible, not sure which.
 
Somaticasual [TotalFark]  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (15)  
2020-01-23 9:46:04 PM  
For the greater good

//for the greater good
 
zobear  
Smartest (17)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-23 9:47:30 PM  
Stay off the moors. Stick to the road.
 
abhorrent1  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-23 9:48:37 PM  
Stay off the Moore's?
 
Walker [TotalFark]  
Smartest (8)   Funniest (4)  
2020-01-23 9:48:44 PM  
People to avoid:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-01-23 9:51:39 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

To late, you are a goner.
 
2020-01-23 9:55:24 PM  

Somaticasual: For the greater good

//for the greater good



i.gifer.comView Full Size
 
xrayspx [TotalFark]  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-23 10:02:00 PM  
Now I wanna start over on Midsomer Murders again.  Those 22 or however many seasons were time well spent.
 
Error 482  
Smartest (5)   Funniest (2)  
2020-01-23 10:19:55 PM  
Step 1: Don't go to any quaint English villages
Step 2: Done
 
2020-01-23 10:20:51 PM  
Nice find stubby.

Love some BBC mystery shows & will keep an eye out to see how relevant these tips are.
 
vudukungfu [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2020-01-23 10:21:30 PM  
It's not the End of the F*cking World
 
Running Wild  
Smartest (12)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-23 10:27:40 PM  
If there's anything I've learned from Father Brown, it's that quaint English villages are just a veneer for a countryside ridden with pathological levels of greed, lust, passion, and barely restrained homicidal grudges.
 
2020-01-23 10:29:37 PM  

abhorrent1: Stay off the Moore's?


It's the Law.
 
TuckFrump [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-23 10:32:50 PM  

AquaTatanka: [resizing.flixster.com image 206x305]

Dont be a Bundy!


Came for the Marriage With Children reference. Leaving quite satisfied
 
2020-01-23 10:34:40 PM  

zobear: Stay off the moors. Stick to the road.


I have a hard time keeping the moor off of me.

/Brazilian jiujitsu FTW
//damn that kid can choke
 
2020-01-23 10:40:04 PM  
Based on the 5 seasons of Endeavour I've made it through, approximately 600 people were murdered in Oxford between 1965 and 1969.
 
Fano  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-23 10:42:26 PM  

xrayspx: Now I wanna start over on Midsomer Murders again.  Those 22 or however many seasons were time well spent.


That's only 24 episodes
 
2020-01-23 10:53:38 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-01-23 11:03:36 PM  
I just finished reading the book Everything I Need to Know About Quaint English Villages I Learned From Sam Peckinpah.
 
Millennium  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-23 11:22:48 PM  
Don't mention the incident with the goose. They've been touchy about that for the last few months.
 
2020-01-23 11:48:34 PM  
Avoid "Asians"?
 
2020-01-23 11:52:00 PM  

Herr Flick's Revenge: [Fark user image 425x283]
To late, you are a goner.


I dunno, I could stand for a bit of "Welcome to our town.  We're sending a hot stacked blonde to your B-n-B room, just to see whether you're a virgin or not".
 
2020-01-24 12:53:04 AM  
She forgot the papist priest.  Father Brown shows up for tea and you're dead.  He won't kill you but you'll get last rites whether you want them or not.
 
MBooda  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-24 1:01:55 AM  
STRAW DOGS - Trailer - (1971) - HQ
Youtube yXkqGVfm1mo
 
xrayspx [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-24 2:18:03 AM  

Fano: xrayspx: Now I wanna start over on Midsomer Murders again.  Those 22 or however many seasons were time well spent.

That's only 24 episodes


Short seasons yeah, but every episode is a 90 minute movie.
 
Tom-Servo  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2020-01-24 3:35:58 AM  

MBooda: [YouTube video: STRAW DOGS - Trailer - (1971) - HQ]


Hey straw dog!  Straw don't go around here!  Savvy?
 
2020-01-24 3:39:39 AM  
For further research: play Everybody's Gone to the Rapture.

/ Seven.
// Nine.
/// Six.
//// One.
 
Ex-Texan  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (3)  
2020-01-24 3:40:12 AM  
d1w8c6s6gmwlek.cloudfront.netView Full Size
 
PunGent  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-24 3:46:53 AM  
Mr Miller, local vicar, and a serial killer...

/one day I'll learn how to post musical notes
 
2020-01-24 7:56:31 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Also, when a Mr Death comes to your door for something about the reaping, DO leave him standing outside.
And avoid the salmon mousse.
 
bekovich  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-24 8:06:57 AM  
Having travelled around, I can say some Quaint little english towns can be some of the most savage, hostile and elitist places possible.
Rich people with too many guns and no patience. Fox hunts who will  trash your car with their whips if you happen to be on a road they fancy using.
Houses are verging on the million pound mark and god help you if you have any hint of a.. exotic accent.
 
orbister  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-24 10:09:11 AM  

brantgoose: Stay the Hell away from British detectives and country house parties. If a famous European detective, say a Belgian fellow, shows up, make your excuses and leave by an early train, going anywhere.


And if you're visiting an old house in America and find a feuding family and detective who dresses like Agaton Sax, has an accent that wanders between South Caroline, Stockholm and Brussels and looks a bit like James Bond, get the hell out because you are in a truly crappy film.
 
2020-01-24 11:34:42 AM  
I don't understand any of this. Bob's not my uncle.
 
Mouser  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-24 2:12:42 PM  
The only thing I got out of this was "stay in the pub", which I'd think most Farkers wouldn't need a webpage to remind them.
 
Arkanaut  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2020-01-24 3:51:11 PM  
Anyone with a dog
Stick with the dogs. Dogs are angels and protect us from everything and we don't deserve them.


Those nice Baskervilles seems nice.
 
MBooda  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-24 8:38:10 PM  

Mouser: The only thing I got out of this was "stay in the pub", which I'd think most Farkers wouldn't need a webpage to remind them.


I spent the vast majority of my time in Plymouth at the Mount Pleasant. Given the very many Royal Marines who frequented the place, I'd say I was lucky to get out of there alive.
 
Displayed 40 of 40 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.