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(Click2Houston)   Man accused of stealing $1,100 worth of lingerie, adult toys. And he has facial tattoos? What a dildo, and unable to give police the slip   (click2houston.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Theft, Jaquan Thompson, Manchester United F.C., United Kingdom, Houston, man accused, north Harris County, HOUSTON  
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3134 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jan 2020 at 6:20 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Copy Link



24 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-01-22 6:26:09 PM  
external-preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
1funguy  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-22 6:27:20 PM  
ha! Unibrow!
 
ArkAngel [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-22 6:27:35 PM  
Good on subby for use of the indefinite article
 
rnatalie [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (4)  
2020-01-22 6:28:42 PM  
That's fireMAN'S pump not fireARM pump...

jackandjilladult-9971.kxcdn.comView Full Size
 
2020-01-22 6:28:56 PM  
Let me have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a couple of those panty shields, and some illegal fireworks, and one of those disposable enemas ... eh, make it two.

The Simpsons - Illegal Fireworks
Youtube lebhfjSTtSA
 
433 [TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (4)  
2020-01-22 6:29:43 PM  
"Booty beads."
 
skinink [OhFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-22 6:29:45 PM  
He should have used more lube if he was slick.
 
hissatsu [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (6)  
2020-01-22 6:46:42 PM  
Well, he's got a dollar sign and two crosses tattoed on his face. This prosperity gospel stuff has got to stop.
 
SBinRR [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (3)  
2020-01-22 7:05:48 PM  
Guess he was too shy to try on and buy the teddies, so he stole an assortment to ensure he found a size he could wear.
 
Insain2  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (2)  
2020-01-22 7:09:46 PM  
My guess is......."Becky" was biz-say?
Fark user imageView Full Size

Keep tryin "Brra", you'll get your "Fap"......soon as you gets some "Alone" time w/Mr. Happy......
Fark user imageView Full Size

Yupperz!!!!
 
vudukungfu [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-22 7:21:42 PM  
he stole one gel, one pair of heels, one set of booty beads, 21 teddy's and one firearm pump.

O¿@
 
2020-01-22 7:27:26 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-01-22 7:35:04 PM  

vudukungfu: he stole one gel, one pair of heels, one set of booty beads, 21 teddy's and one firearm pump.

O¿@


Was he heading to Vegas?
 
Boojum2k [TotalFark]  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-22 7:47:48 PM  

vudukungfu: he stole one gel, one pair of heels, one set of booty beads, 21 teddy's and one firearm pump.

O¿@


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-01-22 8:24:53 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-01-22 8:36:13 PM  

hissatsu: Well, he's got a dollar sign and two crosses tattoed on his face. This prosperity gospel stuff has got to stop.


No wonder he can't get laid without a lot of accessories.
 
2020-01-22 8:45:06 PM  
I see cop math is in play on this one... those "2 minute teddies" he grabbed are like $12 each on Amazon, beads, lube, etc... run about $10 each.  So he really grabbed about $300 in merch, unless that firearm pump (what the hell is that?) is kicking for $800.

Now had he paid $1100 for that collection there still would have been a robbery committed, except it's the store robbing him.

/Adult stores are for those who don't plan ahead... and they charge a premium for your lack of foresight
 
callmeox  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-22 9:24:44 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-01-22 9:40:15 PM  
cellblock show and tell will be interesting this week
 
2020-01-22 10:26:24 PM  
As someone who needs a break, I'll just say that while I disagree with what he did, I feel bad that someone's weekend plans got ruined.
 
GypsyJoker [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-22 10:51:34 PM  
Security-cam footage:

vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
caddisfly  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-22 11:21:04 PM  

rnatalie: That's fireMAN'S pump not fireARM pump...

[jackandjilladult-9971.kxcdn.com image 390x397]


Finally found Mugato's Alt!
 
2020-01-22 11:28:45 PM  
Teddy's what?!? And who is Teddy anyway!?!?!
 
Mollari  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-23 5:42:51 AM  

Insain2: My guess is......."Becky" was biz-say?
[Fark user image 425x566]
Keep tryin "Brra", you'll get your "Fap"......soon as you gets some "Alone" time w/Mr. Happy......[Fark user image 129x390]
Yupperz!!!!


Pretty sure that is Jenny's number,

867 5309 (Jenny) lyrics on screen :)
Youtube 8ou6DDG5e7I
 
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