This year's costume, to teach people about the dangers of plastic bags, is a jellyfish.

It'll be hot, I know, so I'm going to be nekkid underneath all those transparent and translucent plastic bags. And I must remember a snorkel so I can breath. I need to find somebody gullible to go as a leather back turtle, the only higher animal slow enough to live on jellyfish and therefore the first victim of plastic before it degrades so small it only kills plankton, the basis of the whole world's food chain, oxygen supply, biomass, etc.

I just have to hope nobody goes as Patrick and Spongebob, or I will have to move fast to dodge their jelly-fishing nets.