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(ABC Action News)   Old: Porch pirates stealing your Amazon packages. Florida: Amazon delivery driver takes the van straight to his apartment and steals your packages   (abcactionnews.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Theft, Police, Crime, Larceny, Dainel Enrique Garcia Zambrano, Amazon packages, company leaders, According to Jim  
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2453 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Oct 2019 at 8:40 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Copy Link



32 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2019-10-17 8:48:29 PM  
I really wish lying in ambush for porch pirates on your own property or that of a friendly third party was legal as long as you were also dressed as a 1700's nautical pirate and limited yourself to rubber black powder bullets and low powered net guns in lieu of actual cannons.
 
2019-10-18 8:44:23 AM  
Amateur.   Why not sell the van, too, while you're at it and claim you were hijacked and they're holding your family hostage.
 
swankywanky  
Smartest (10)   Funniest (0)  
2019-10-18 8:48:43 AM  
At least Amazon is finally ponying up for the branded vans. For a while it was a guy (or gal) in a 2003 Toyota Prius with about 260,000 miles on it showing up to deliver packages. More than once I was a little curious going to see who was pulling into my driveway.

Some of the drivers we've had have been great. Some.....well, I'm not sure the background screening is as strict as the one they do at UPS.
 
2019-10-18 8:49:50 AM  

leeksfromchichis: I really wish lying in ambush for porch pirates on your own property or that of a friendly third party was legal as long as you were also dressed as a 1700's nautical pirate and limited yourself to rubber black powder bullets and low powered net guns in lieu of actual cannons.


Wait, it's not? Uh oh.
 
2019-10-18 8:50:42 AM  
Pamela Wright of Tampa says it's upsetting.
"Every day I order off of Amazon and I would be furious, absolutely furious if my packages didn't arrive," Wright said.


Drama much?  Seriously.  If your packages don't show then it's only a phone call or chat to get them replaced. I get them delivered to the office.  Of course I recently had one delivered way past office hours, but it was surprisingly there when I showed up the next morning.
 
gnosis301  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2019-10-18 8:50:46 AM  
It seems that, not so long ago, this wasn't a problem because Amazon relied on accountable carriers like UPS for their deliveries.
 
2019-10-18 8:51:16 AM  

Interceptor1: leeksfromchichis: I really wish lying in ambush for porch pirates on your own property or that of a friendly third party was legal as long as you were also dressed as a 1700's nautical pirate and limited yourself to rubber black powder bullets and low powered net guns in lieu of actual cannons.

Wait, it's not? Uh oh.


I think it depends what state you live in.
 
jso2897 [TotalFark]  
Smartest (4)   Funniest (1)  
2019-10-18 8:51:22 AM  
Amazon is a shiat company, and I find all the ways around doing business with them I can.
I hope Jeff Bezos dies strangling Donald Trump with his own intestines - whichever one of these two assholes wins, the world will be safer.
I do not often BSAB - but Bezos manages to damn near actually be as bad as Trump. And his influence is colossal - maybe greater than Trump's, in some aspects of life.
I would imagine their employees to be a sketchy, underpaid, abused and homicidally disgruntled lot, like Uber drivers.
As likely to slit your throat as perform a professional service for you.
 
2019-10-18 8:52:10 AM  
This kind of stuff wouldn't happen if we hadn't taken God out of schools.
 
2019-10-18 8:54:30 AM  
I seen these scumbags rolling around.
 
2019-10-18 8:58:18 AM  

swankywanky: At least Amazon is finally ponying up for the branded vans. For a while it was a guy (or gal) in a 2003 Toyota Prius with about 260,000 miles on it showing up to deliver packages.


Whatever the fark "Lazership" was, that was the worst. You'd track something on Amazon, and it would say USPS and everything's fine, and then all of a sudden it's out for delivery, due by 8pm by Lazership, and your soul would die a little. Because that meant at 7:59 a 1995 Honda Civic would hop the curb, land in the flower garden, some dude in dreds would stagger out of it in a cloud of weed smoke, hurl your package vaguely in the direction of your door, tape his muffler back on, and roar away.
 
2019-10-18 8:58:35 AM  

Nick Nostril: This kind of stuff wouldn't happen if we hadn't taken God out of schools.


Yeah, they'd tithe then.
 
2019-10-18 8:59:23 AM  

Nick Nostril: This kind of stuff wouldn't happen if we hadn't taken God out of schools.


Wait... are you the drummer for "Ned Nostril and the South Seas Paradise, Put Your Blues On Ice, Cheap at Twice the Price Band"?
 
2019-10-18 8:59:29 AM  
No quater!
 
jtown  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2019-10-18 9:05:11 AM  

swankywanky: At least Amazon is finally ponying up for the branded vans. For a while it was a guy (or gal) in a 2003 Toyota Prius with about 260,000 miles on it showing up to deliver packages. More than once I was a little curious going to see who was pulling into my driveway.

Some of the drivers we've had have been great. Some.....well, I'm not sure the background screening is as strict as the one they do at UPS.


I'm sure the drivers are paying the leases on the vans, not Amazon.
 
2019-10-18 9:06:38 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: swankywanky: At least Amazon is finally ponying up for the branded vans. For a while it was a guy (or gal) in a 2003 Toyota Prius with about 260,000 miles on it showing up to deliver packages.

Whatever the fark "Lazership" was, that was the worst. You'd track something on Amazon, and it would say USPS and everything's fine, and then all of a sudden it's out for delivery, due by 8pm by Lazership, and your soul would die a little. Because that meant at 7:59 a 1995 Honda Civic would hop the curb, land in the flower garden, some dude in dreds would stagger out of it in a cloud of weed smoke, hurl your package vaguely in the direction of your door, tape his muffler back on, and roar away.



Hmm, that explains the muffler I found in the front yard this morning.
 
ltdanman44 [BareFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (1)  
2019-10-18 9:14:23 AM  
Ex-NASA engineer uses glitter to thwart package thieves
Youtube FMb4pT_KlVU
 
2019-10-18 9:18:02 AM  
His next job will no doubt be with the Post Office.

//I've had postal workers steal my stuff on more than one occasion.
 
hej  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-10-18 9:21:08 AM  
In before some jabroni blames this on Amazon's wages
 
khatores  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (0)  
2019-10-18 9:22:21 AM  

Interceptor1: Prank Call of Cthulhu: swankywanky: At least Amazon is finally ponying up for the branded vans. For a while it was a guy (or gal) in a 2003 Toyota Prius with about 260,000 miles on it showing up to deliver packages.

Whatever the fark "Lazership" was, that was the worst. You'd track something on Amazon, and it would say USPS and everything's fine, and then all of a sudden it's out for delivery, due by 8pm by Lazership, and your soul would die a little. Because that meant at 7:59 a 1995 Honda Civic would hop the curb, land in the flower garden, some dude in dreds would stagger out of it in a cloud of weed smoke, hurl your package vaguely in the direction of your door, tape his muffler back on, and roar away.


Hmm, that explains the muffler I found in the front yard this morning.


Wow, that's impressively terrible...they actually did have delivery drivers routinely throwing packages, running over people's lawns, stealing stuff, etc. The company even got prosecuted under RICO.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LaserShip
 
nodubs  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-10-18 9:27:54 AM  

jtown: swankywanky: At least Amazon is finally ponying up for the branded vans. For a while it was a guy (or gal) in a 2003 Toyota Prius with about 260,000 miles on it showing up to deliver packages. More than once I was a little curious going to see who was pulling into my driveway.

Some of the drivers we've had have been great. Some.....well, I'm not sure the background screening is as strict as the one they do at UPS.

I'm sure the drivers are paying the leases on the vans, not Amazon.


I wonder if that's cheaper than using the UHaul vans they were using around here for a while.
 
Russ1642  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2019-10-18 9:29:39 AM  
They had a direct paper trail and it still took them months to 'catch' him.
 
cakeman [TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (3)  
2019-10-18 9:31:17 AM  

leeksfromchichis: I really wish lying in ambush for porch pirates on your own property or that of a friendly third party was legal as long as you were also dressed as a 1700's nautical pirate and limited yourself to rubber black powder bullets and low powered net guns in lieu of actual cannons.


Please feel free to borrow my cannon for your porch battle 
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2019-10-18 9:37:17 AM  

jso2897: Amazon is a shiat company, and I find all the ways around doing business with them I can.
I hope Jeff Bezos dies strangling Donald Trump with his own intestines - whichever one of these two assholes wins, the world will be safer.
I do not often BSAB - but Bezos manages to damn near actually be as bad as Trump. And his influence is colossal - maybe greater than Trump's, in some aspects of life.
I would imagine their employees to be a sketchy, underpaid, abused and homicidally disgruntled lot, like Uber drivers.
As likely to slit your throat as perform a professional service for you.


bwahahaha! look at Grumpy over here. millions of people choose amazon every day and you're the one unhappy butterfly in the garden. wow. look at you. did the people at amazon pee pee in your Coke?
 
Russ1642  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-10-18 10:23:30 AM  

sinko swimo: jso2897: Amazon is a shiat company, and I find all the ways around doing business with them I can.
I hope Jeff Bezos dies strangling Donald Trump with his own intestines - whichever one of these two assholes wins, the world will be safer.
I do not often BSAB - but Bezos manages to damn near actually be as bad as Trump. And his influence is colossal - maybe greater than Trump's, in some aspects of life.
I would imagine their employees to be a sketchy, underpaid, abused and homicidally disgruntled lot, like Uber drivers.
As likely to slit your throat as perform a professional service for you.

bwahahaha! look at Grumpy over here. millions of people choose amazon every day and you're the one unhappy butterfly in the garden. wow. look at you. did the people at amazon pee pee in your Coke?


Same kind of crazy as the people that think McDonalds uses fake eggs.
 
DrEMHmrk2 [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-10-18 10:31:04 AM  

leeksfromchichis: I really wish lying in ambush for porch pirates on your own property or that of a friendly third party was legal as long as you were also dressed as a 1700's nautical pirate and limited yourself to rubber black powder bullets and low powered net guns in lieu of actual cannons.


But how do we swab the poop deck? I only have a quarterdeck!
 
2019-10-18 11:20:58 AM  

khatores: Interceptor1: Prank Call of Cthulhu: swankywanky: At least Amazon is finally ponying up for the branded vans. For a while it was a guy (or gal) in a 2003 Toyota Prius with about 260,000 miles on it showing up to deliver packages.

Whatever the fark "Lazership" was, that was the worst. You'd track something on Amazon, and it would say USPS and everything's fine, and then all of a sudden it's out for delivery, due by 8pm by Lazership, and your soul would die a little. Because that meant at 7:59 a 1995 Honda Civic would hop the curb, land in the flower garden, some dude in dreds would stagger out of it in a cloud of weed smoke, hurl your package vaguely in the direction of your door, tape his muffler back on, and roar away.


Hmm, that explains the muffler I found in the front yard this morning.

Wow, that's impressively terrible...they actually did have delivery drivers routinely throwing packages, running over people's lawns, stealing stuff, etc. The company even got prosecuted under RICO.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LaserShip


https://www.popehat.com/2016/06/14/lawsplainer-its-not-rico-dammit/
 
OldJames  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2019-10-18 11:25:44 AM  
Does this have anything to do with porch monkeys?
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
khatores  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-10-18 11:40:40 AM  

My Second Fark Account: khatores: Interceptor1: Prank Call of Cthulhu: swankywanky: At least Amazon is finally ponying up for the branded vans. For a while it was a guy (or gal) in a 2003 Toyota Prius with about 260,000 miles on it showing up to deliver packages.

Whatever the fark "Lazership" was, that was the worst. You'd track something on Amazon, and it would say USPS and everything's fine, and then all of a sudden it's out for delivery, due by 8pm by Lazership, and your soul would die a little. Because that meant at 7:59 a 1995 Honda Civic would hop the curb, land in the flower garden, some dude in dreds would stagger out of it in a cloud of weed smoke, hurl your package vaguely in the direction of your door, tape his muffler back on, and roar away.


Hmm, that explains the muffler I found in the front yard this morning.

Wow, that's impressively terrible...they actually did have delivery drivers routinely throwing packages, running over people's lawns, stealing stuff, etc. The company even got prosecuted under RICO.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LaserShip

https://www.popehat.com/2016/06/14/lawsplainer-its-not-rico-dammit/


I'm actually quite aware of what RICO is, and so is Lasership...


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2019-10-18 12:14:50 PM  

khatores: My Second Fark Account: khatores: Interceptor1: Prank Call of Cthulhu: swankywanky: At least Amazon is finally ponying up for the branded vans. For a while it was a guy (or gal) in a 2003 Toyota Prius with about 260,000 miles on it showing up to deliver packages.

Whatever the fark "Lazership" was, that was the worst. You'd track something on Amazon, and it would say USPS and everything's fine, and then all of a sudden it's out for delivery, due by 8pm by Lazership, and your soul would die a little. Because that meant at 7:59 a 1995 Honda Civic would hop the curb, land in the flower garden, some dude in dreds would stagger out of it in a cloud of weed smoke, hurl your package vaguely in the direction of your door, tape his muffler back on, and roar away.


Hmm, that explains the muffler I found in the front yard this morning.

Wow, that's impressively terrible...they actually did have delivery drivers routinely throwing packages, running over people's lawns, stealing stuff, etc. The company even got prosecuted under RICO.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LaserShip

https://www.popehat.com/2016/06/14/lawsplainer-its-not-rico-dammit/

I'm actually quite aware of what RICO is, and so is Lasership...


[Fark user image 629x624]


Wow, a unicorn!
 
aevorea  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-10-18 12:24:18 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: swankywanky: At least Amazon is finally ponying up for the branded vans. For a while it was a guy (or gal) in a 2003 Toyota Prius with about 260,000 miles on it showing up to deliver packages.

Whatever the fark "Lazership" was, that was the worst. You'd track something on Amazon, and it would say USPS and everything's fine, and then all of a sudden it's out for delivery, due by 8pm by Lazership, and your soul would die a little. Because that meant at 7:59 a 1995 Honda Civic would hop the curb, land in the flower garden, some dude in dreds would stagger out of it in a cloud of weed smoke, hurl your package vaguely in the direction of your door, tape his muffler back on, and roar away.


Lazership still delivers here. And in my case, they were driving an ancient green GMC truck, but everything else you said applied
 
Kriggerel  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2019-10-18 8:07:56 PM  
Reads the article, and  sees that fellow's mugshot... The hair, and the weird orange tint to those beady eyes...

Makes me think that Heat Miser had an illegitimate son somewhere along the line.
 
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