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(Fox News)   Now, you can pay $300.00 an hour, to have multiple boa constrictor snakes slither across your body. the snakes "tone and stimulate the vagus nerve in our body and that releases endorphins and oxytocin"   (foxnews.com) divider line
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    More: Creepy, Snake, fear of snakes, snake massage, boa constrictors, Last year, New York shop, important note, question of the day  
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1518 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jun 2019 at 12:44 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Copy Link



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Ivo Shandor [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (24)  
2019-06-25 11:54:00 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
ChipNASA  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (14)  
2019-06-25 12:46:13 PM  
the snakes "tone and stimulate the vagus nerve

Ladies, I'll volunteer to tone and stimulate your vagus nerve, if you knowwhatImeanandIthinkyoudo.
 
Subtonic  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2019-06-25 12:46:56 PM  
The what nerve?

Hard pass.
 
DarkSoulNoHope  
Smartest (4)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 12:46:59 PM  
Or you can pay that same amount for a Dominatrix in tight clothing using a flogger on you for similar effect. Just saying.
 
OkieDookie  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 12:51:08 PM  
Sounds like a good to have a dead snake and/or client.
 
HYSTERICAL SHRIEKING  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (5)  
2019-06-25 12:51:57 PM  

DarkSoulNoHope: Or you can pay that same amount for a Dominatrix in tight clothing using a flogger on you for similar effect. Just saying.


Believe it or not that game had a python too.

4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
DarkVader  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (11)  
2019-06-25 12:53:27 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
Harry Freakstorm  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (7)  
2019-06-25 12:53:48 PM  
Where'd the patient in suite b go?  There's just a big fat snake in there.
 
Bondith  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (4)  
2019-06-25 12:54:56 PM  
I'm being slithered by a boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor.
I'm being slithered by a boa constrictor
And I think I'm a little turned on.

Oh my, it tickled my thigh.
Oh Venus, it swallowed my...
 
guestguy  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (4)  
2019-06-25 12:54:57 PM  
joblo.comView Full Size


Welp...I'm sold.
 
Nimbull  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 12:55:41 PM  
imgflip.comView Full Size
 
drjekel_mrhyde  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 12:58:57 PM  
You're better off buying a ball python and letting it get use to you.
/Don't worry they're pretty much harmless
 
spambot collective  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (11)  
2019-06-25 1:00:06 PM  
pretty sure endorphins and oxytocin are not the only things my body would release
 
MattyBlast [TotalFark]  
Smartest (5)   Funniest (2)  
2019-06-25 1:00:19 PM  
Approves:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Who Flipped The Crazy Switch On The Matrix  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2019-06-25 1:01:15 PM  
This is a service I provide for free, except only one snake is used.
 
evilsofa  
Smartest (7)   Funniest (3)  
2019-06-25 1:04:18 PM  

Subtonic: The what nerve?

Hard pass.


i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size


Being responsible for gastrointestinal peristalsis, the vagus nerve does indeed assist the colon with hard passes.
 
WGJ [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2019-06-25 1:05:27 PM  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
Harry Freakstorm  
Smartest (5)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 1:05:37 PM  
Natasi Kinski endorses this.

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.comView Full Size


It gets giggitier.
 
Daddy's Big Pink Man-Squirrel [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 1:06:04 PM  
Snake poop is cold.
 
Z-clipped  
Smartest (5)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 1:10:25 PM  
All joking aside, boas and pythons do feel pretty nice when they cuddle with you, and they really aren't at all dangerous unless they're enormous.  Your dog is probably more likely to kill you than a constrictor.
 
nytmare  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2019-06-25 1:11:16 PM  
Crawling on my skin, these wounds you will not heal.
 
drjekel_mrhyde  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 1:14:38 PM  

Z-clipped: All joking aside, boas and pythons do feel pretty nice when they cuddle with you, and they really aren't at all dangerous unless they're enormous.  Your dog is probably more likely to kill you than a constrictor.


The baby reptileso are the biters.  I had a 8' boa, and it never even tried to attack.
 
Vtimlin  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 1:16:37 PM  
Stupid
 
Rik01 [TotalFark]  
Smartest (9)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 1:16:47 PM  
You can't stimulate the vagus nerve from the outside of the body. It controls internal structures. This is a true 'snake oil' remedy of crap. She preys on the weak minded or the thrill seekers and charges them heavily for this 'therapy'.

Kind of like those TV advertisement 'Dr.s' who push various supplements or therapies or basically anything you buy from 'Wish'. (The latter is such a scam that I'd expect the Chinese operators to be an embarrassment to the Chinese government.)
 
maxandgrinch [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2019-06-25 1:16:57 PM  
What recently changed to allow this service finally become available in locations near me?
 
Kriggerel  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2019-06-25 1:17:16 PM  
Vagus, or Vagina, subby?


/Eve's true temptation, and all of that. :P
 
groppet [TotalFark]  
Smartest (4)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 1:17:39 PM  
Rather have a pile of kittys and/or puppies crawling on me.
 
HYSTERICAL SHRIEKING  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (3)  
2019-06-25 1:19:38 PM  

Rik01: You can't stimulate the vagus nerve from the outside of the body. It controls internal structures. This is a true 'snake oil' remedy of crap. She preys on the weak minded or the thrill seekers and charges them heavily for this 'therapy'.

Kind of like those TV advertisement 'Dr.s' who push various supplements or therapies or basically anything you buy from 'Wish'. (The latter is such a scam that I'd expect the Chinese operators to be an embarrassment to the Chinese government.)


Pff.  People can't just go on the internet and tell lies to sell fake cures!
 
Thosw [BareFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 1:20:24 PM  

Rik01: You can't stimulate the vagus nerve from the outside of the body. It controls internal structures. This is a true 'snake oil' remedy of crap. She preys on the weak minded or the thrill seekers and charges them heavily for this 'therapy'.

Kind of like those TV advertisement 'Dr.s' who push various supplements or therapies or basically anything you buy from 'Wish'. (The latter is such a scam that I'd expect the Chinese operators to be an embarrassment to the Chinese government.)


This. Ever sneeze towards the end of a meal? That's your vagus nerve telling you you're full.
 
mrparks  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2019-06-25 1:44:57 PM  
You can do the same thing with a popsicle and a close friend.
 
stuffy  
Smartest (5)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 1:48:35 PM  
bing.comView Full Size

If I'm paying $300 hr to have something slither over me.
 
Raoul Eaton  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 1:50:06 PM  
I suspect I could make a lot of money selling useless stuff to gullible people, but I just don't have the heart for it.
 
guestguy  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 1:57:24 PM  

Raoul Eaton: I suspect I could make a lot of money selling useless stuff to gullible people, but I just don't have the heart for it.


Or the hair...

mondrian.mashable.comView Full Size
 
wyldkard  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 2:06:42 PM  
the snakes "tone and stimulate the vagus nerve in our body and that releases endorphins and oxytocin"

Is that before or after they bite you in the ass?
 
SwiftFox  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 2:07:23 PM  

Thosw: Rik01: You can't stimulate the vagus nerve from the outside of the body. It controls internal structures. This is a true 'snake oil' remedy of crap. She preys on the weak minded or the thrill seekers and charges them heavily for this 'therapy'.

Kind of like those TV advertisement 'Dr.s' who push various supplements or therapies or basically anything you buy from 'Wish'. (The latter is such a scam that I'd expect the Chinese operators to be an embarrassment to the Chinese government.)

This. Ever sneeze towards the end of a meal? That's your vagus nerve telling you you're full.


You can stimulate endorphins though.
tootimid.comView Full Size
 
cryinoutloud  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2019-06-25 2:16:06 PM  
"Now you can pay....."
I'm out.

/See, that's all you have to do.
 
Huggermugger  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2019-06-25 2:16:28 PM  
How much for a black mamba?
 
madgonad [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 2:17:03 PM  

Thosw: Rik01: You can't stimulate the vagus nerve from the outside of the body. It controls internal structures. This is a true 'snake oil' remedy of crap. She preys on the weak minded or the thrill seekers and charges them heavily for this 'therapy'.

Kind of like those TV advertisement 'Dr.s' who push various supplements or therapies or basically anything you buy from 'Wish'. (The latter is such a scam that I'd expect the Chinese operators to be an embarrassment to the Chinese government.)

This. Ever sneeze towards the end of a meal? That's your vagus nerve telling you you're full.


More phrenic than vagus. Cranial nerves do cool stuff.
 
tjsands1118  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2019-06-25 2:23:52 PM  
$300? Fear Factor pays $50k.
 
HYSTERICAL SHRIEKING  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 2:28:58 PM  

tjsands1118: $300? Fear Factor pays $50k.


Is that show still making episodes?  Like 10 years ago they had people eating donkey testicles while lying in a tank of maggots hanging from a helicopter.  I'm not really sure where you go from there.
 
tjsands1118  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2019-06-25 2:30:35 PM  

HYSTERICAL SHRIEKING: tjsands1118: $300? Fear Factor pays $50k.

Is that show still making episodes?  Like 10 years ago they had people eating donkey testicles while lying in a tank of maggots hanging from a helicopter.  I'm not really sure where you go from there.


Donkey semen in 2011 and an MTV  revamp in 2017 with Ludacris.
 
Who Flipped The Crazy Switch On The Matrix  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 2:36:37 PM  

tjsands1118: HYSTERICAL SHRIEKING: tjsands1118: $300? Fear Factor pays $50k.

Is that show still making episodes?  Like 10 years ago they had people eating donkey testicles while lying in a tank of maggots hanging from a helicopter.  I'm not really sure where you go from there.

Donkey semen in 2011 and an MTV  revamp in 2017 with Ludacris.


Nickleback / Kid Rock concert in Alabama?
 
Destructor [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 2:43:20 PM  
Afterwards, they very gently constrict and devour you. It's all very natural.
 
WilderKWight  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 2:44:45 PM  
If there's one thing FOX News knows about, it's snakes.
 
HoratioGates  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2019-06-25 2:59:09 PM  
I misread that as 'You could be paid $300/hour to have large snakes slither over you' but it was still a hard no.
 
HoratioGates  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2019-06-25 3:00:50 PM  

Who Flipped The Crazy Switch On The Matrix: Is that show still making episodes?  Like 10 years ago they had people eating donkey testicles while lying in a tank of maggots hanging from a helicopter.  I'm not really sure where you go from there.


Now they feed the donkey your testicles while you sit in a tank of lye suspended over a helicopter by a string made out of maggots.
 
whitroth  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2019-06-25 3:14:05 PM  
Slitherin' snakes?

Reminds me of some net.friends, back in the early nineties on usenet. One told the story of when she was into herps, and visiting a girlfriend with snakes. Friend lived in a cul-de-sac, and they took care of each other... so the phone rang, and someone from another house warned them of a doorbell ringer on the way.

They stripped down to their bikini underwear, put their biggest snakes around them, and answered the door that way. Doorbell ringer ran....
 
HAMMERTOE  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 3:36:32 PM  

Rik01: You can't stimulate the vagus nerve from the outside of the body. It controls internal structures. This is a true 'snake oil' remedy of crap. She preys on the weak minded or the thrill seekers and charges them heavily for this 'therapy'.


Precisely. The Vagus nerve, for one, will make you pass out when stimulated by certain physiological reactions to "psychiatric" shock. (Panting, for example.)
 
LuckyBastid  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 5:01:41 PM  
You can stimulate it from outside the body.  The easiest way is to push down and rub over your carotid arteries.  So, effectively they're offering you the chance to get the shiat choked out of you for $300 an hour.  Hope the snakes know the safe word.

/Don't actually do the neck rub thingy.  You can end up on the floor.
 
Dangerous_sociopath  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2019-06-25 6:22:37 PM  

Who Flipped The Crazy Switch On The Matrix: tjsands1118: HYSTERICAL SHRIEKING: tjsands1118: $300? Fear Factor pays $50k.

Is that show still making episodes?  Like 10 years ago they had people eating donkey testicles while lying in a tank of maggots hanging from a helicopter.  I'm not really sure where you go from there.

Donkey semen in 2011 and an MTV  revamp in 2017 with Ludacris.

Nickleback / Kid Rock concert in Alabama?


ICP rally with no Valtrex?
 
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