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9484 clicks; posted to Main » and Fandom » on 25 Jun 2019 at 11:00 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Copy Link



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swaniefrmreddeer [TotalFark]  
Smartest (41)   Funniest (1)  
2019-06-25 10:57:40 AM  
It there was a hell, I'd prefer to go there for eternity over being stuck with the sanctimonious x-stains in heaven. F*ck I hate fundies, they make my skin crawl just talking to them, their fake smiles, sickly sweet demeanor, and general hypocrisy are just too much for me to handle.
 
koder [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (28)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 10:59:06 AM  
Hell was what finally turned me away from Christianity. I just couldn't imagine being up in heaven while any of my friends, family, or just some random dude down the street, was tortured, regardless of what technicality they violated or how their parents raised them. Knowing that's going on makes two hells for actually-good people: actual hell and the hell of sitting in heaven knowing people you care about are roasting in agony.
 
UberDave [OhFark]  
Smartest (25)   Funniest (20)  
2019-06-25 11:01:42 AM  
Today's conservative Christians, however, remain unmoved by the possibility of eventual salvation from hell for everyone. The doctrine of eternal torments in hell has stayed on their theological agenda.

Of course.  Everyone they don't like or agree with is going to hell.  That's the gist of it.  I like messing with them from time to time though.  Like a couple of years ago:

Me: "So, when you die, if you're saved, you go to eternal bliss, right?"
Them: "You go to heaven to be with God, yes."
Me: "What state is your mind in when this happens.  Like if someone has dementia when they die or maybe they had a lobotomy for some reason or maybe a brain-eating amoeba, is their consciousness restored to its former glory?"
Them: "Uhh...yes."
Me: "Well, what state? What is the criteria for getting your consciousness 'cleaned up' for the after-life?  I mean, I can be neurotic at times.  That may be a defect that gets scrubbed after I die.  If the criteria is too stringent then we could be completely different entities with vague recollections of our time alive.  We wouldn't be the same."
Them: "bleargh!"
 
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (7)   Funniest (63)  
2019-06-25 11:04:54 AM  
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nmrsnr [TotalFark]  
Smartest (37)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:16:14 AM  
I understand believing in God. I personally don't, but I get it.

What I don't understand is believing in a Church.

There's a joke line in Book of Mormon about how God changed his mind about Black people in the '70s, and it gets a good laugh. Except that the Catholic Church has done the exact same thing numerous times, like about unbaptized babies and Limbo about a decade ago.

Did all of the older babies get screwed? Did they have a mini-rapture from Limbo? Or was the infallible Church wrong until now, and there was never a Limbo for babies? If they were both infallible, and wrong, that kind of questions their infallibility.

And I don't mean to pick on the Catholic Church. Personally, I'm Jewish, and the Rabbis have changed what God meant a lot there, too.

Whatever may or may not exist in actual reality, it's pretty clear that whatever people think about it is wrong.
 
Xai  
Smartest (25)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:16:28 AM  
Thanks to trump I've learned that Christianity is a sham, bent and contorted to the whims of it's members. It's why some passage about being gay from the back end of Leviticus (right next to not eating shellfish) is lauded over other non-Christians as some law they must adhere to, yet 'christians' don't follow the 10 commandments, actively go against the teachings of jesus and prominently support the abhorrent abuse of other Christians, even innocent children - all because they want it to be that way.


I used to call myself a Christian and know a trump-supporting pastor, a good family friend for over 30 years, I haven't spoken to him in over a year now as honestly I don't know what to say. This has shown that everything he's said for years were lies to simply further his own desires and goals and that he's truly an evil human being (and yes he and his family actively and vocally support torture and child abuse, usually under the excuse that the 'crimes' of the parents justify the torture of their children)
 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (19)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:22:55 AM  
Anyone that claims to have the only path to God is more concerned about their wallets than your salvation.
 
BigChad  
Smartest (25)   Funniest (17)  
2019-06-25 11:23:51 AM  
live.staticflickr.comView Full Size
 
MeatBrains  
Smartest (10)   Funniest (19)  
2019-06-25 11:25:32 AM  
Hell will be a lateral move.
 
King Keepo  
Smartest (16)   Funniest (8)  
2019-06-25 11:26:42 AM  

swaniefrmreddeer: It there was a hell, I'd prefer to go there for eternity over being stuck with the sanctimonious x-stains in heaven.


That's fine, I don't think there will be as many up there as you think.
 
nulluspixiusdemonica  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:27:00 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: more concerned about their wallets than your salvation.


Now explain "salvation".
 
HawgWild [recently expired TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (38)  
2019-06-25 11:27:35 AM  
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HawgWild [recently expired TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (14)  
2019-06-25 11:28:21 AM  
We'll create our OWN heaven! With blackjack and hookers!
 
BafflerMeal  
Smartest (33)   Funniest (49)  
2019-06-25 11:28:52 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Prank Call of Cthulhu  
Smartest (28)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:29:01 AM  
God would laugh at the sufferings of the damned, said the English puritan Richard Baxter. "Is it not a terrible thing," he asked, "to a wretched soul, when it shall lie roaring perpetually ... in the flames of Hell, and the God of mercy himself shall laugh at them?"

Wow, this god fellow sounds like kind of a sociopath.
 
Fast Moon  
Smartest (7)   Funniest (1)  
2019-06-25 11:29:22 AM  

UberDave: Today's conservative Christians, however, remain unmoved by the possibility of eventual salvation from hell for everyone. The doctrine of eternal torments in hell has stayed on their theological agenda.

Of course.  Everyone they don't like or agree with is going to hell.  That's the gist of it.  I like messing with them from time to time though.  Like a couple of years ago:

Me: "So, when you die, if you're saved, you go to eternal bliss, right?"
Them: "You go to heaven to be with God, yes."
Me: "What state is your mind in when this happens.  Like if someone has dementia when they die or maybe they had a lobotomy for some reason or maybe a brain-eating amoeba, is their consciousness restored to its former glory?"
Them: "Uhh...yes."
Me: "Well, what state? What is the criteria for getting your consciousness 'cleaned up' for the after-life?  I mean, I can be neurotic at times.  That may be a defect that gets scrubbed after I die.  If the criteria is too stringent then we could be completely different entities with vague recollections of our time alive.  We wouldn't be the same."
Them: "bleargh!"


This is similar to the explanation I've heard, too.  That if you go to Heaven, your consciousness is essentially "re-made" so that whatever form Heaven takes, you will be happy there.  So "you" still get erased from existence while an entity calling itself "you" gets to be eternally blissful in Heaven.  You'll get to meet your departed friends and family, but they'll only be shells of themselves, and your perception will be similarly altered that you won't remember that they were ever any different.  Any friends and family who didn't make it to Heaven are purged from your memory.  "Bliss" is then sitting in Heaven reveling in the torture of those who opposed you, even if those being tortured are your former friends, because you no longer remember them.
 
HawgWild [recently expired TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (34)  
2019-06-25 11:29:51 AM  
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Harry Freakstorm  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (4)  
2019-06-25 11:30:15 AM  
After seven days
He was quite tired so God said
"Let there be a day 
Just for picnics, with wine and bread"
He gathered up some people he had made
Created blankets and laid back in the shade
The people sipped their wine
And what with God there, they asked him questions
Like, do you have to eat
Or get your hair cut in heaven?
And if your eye got poked out in this life
Would it be waiting up in heaven with your wife?
God shuffled his feet and glanced around at them
The people cleared their throats and stared right back at him
So he said "once there was a boy
Who woke up with blue hair
To him it was a joy
Until he ran out into the warm air
He thought of how his friend would come to see
And would they laugh, or had he got some strange disease?"
God shuffled his feet and glanced around at them
The people cleared their throats and stared right back at him
The people sat waiting
Out on their blankets in the garden
But God said nothing
So someone asked him "I beg your pardon
I'm not quite clear about what you just spoke
What that a parable, or a very subtle joke?"
God shuffled his feet and glanced around at them
The people cleared their throats and stared right back at him
 
HawgWild [recently expired TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (65)  
2019-06-25 11:32:17 AM  
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Moosedick Gladys Greengroin  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (2)  
2019-06-25 11:32:48 AM  

Xai: Thanks to trump I've learned that Christianity is a sham, bent and contorted to the whims of it's members. It's why some passage about being gay from the back end of Leviticus (right next to not eating shellfish) is lauded over other non-Christians as some law they must adhere to, yet 'christians' don't follow the 10 commandments, actively go against the teachings of jesus and prominently support the abhorrent abuse of other Christians, even innocent children - all because they want it to be that way.


I used to call myself a Christian and know a trump-supporting pastor, a good family friend for over 30 years, I haven't spoken to him in over a year now as honestly I don't know what to say. This has shown that everything he's said for years were lies to simply further his own desires and goals and that he's truly an evil human being (and yes he and his family actively and vocally support torture and child abuse, usually under the excuse that the 'crimes' of the parents justify the torture of their children)


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
BitwiseShift  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (4)  
2019-06-25 11:32:50 AM  
Hell is a room in your mind that you decorate with your enemies. If you say someone is going to  hell, either you are cursing that person to live in that room or you are god.

If you are god, I have quite a few damages I want settled for Acts of God.
 
EL EM  
Smartest (6)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:33:02 AM  
Duh. We're in it right now.
 
Smelly Pirate Hooker [TotalFark]  
Smartest (31)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:33:39 AM  
As an atheist, I won't say all religion is useless, some people actually use it for positive motivation or as incentive to help others, find some sort of peace of mind, etc.

I will say the impact of religion has been more negative than positive, and none of its "positive" aspects are unique only to religion, you can find peace of mind or incentive to help people without religion.

It's like when assholes yap about how sports builds teamwork or whatnot, as if nothing else can do that, so sports is vital to society. Complete horseshiat. People can work with others without having been on a sports team and people can be decent without religion. If you're an asshole without religion, getting religion isn't a guarantee you'll become decent. Chances are, you'll just be a sanctimonious hypocrite and/or a zealot. Or at least that's been my observation.
 
durbnpoisn  
Smartest (17)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:33:40 AM  
My view on hell is what really changed my mind about religion, at a young age.

My thought was, "So, this God creates us, and if we don't worship him the right way, we go to eternal torture?!  That doesn't really seem very fair at all.  In fact, that's pretty farked up."

There are so many ways that is ridiculous.  One of my favorite came from a comedian I saw the other day who phrased it like this... (paraphrased from memory)  "So God is telling you to do all these things that amount to worshiping him.  And when you don't you have to go to hell, where Satan will punish you.  Why would Satan punish you for that?  That would seem like the kind of thing that Satan would be happy about."

In any case, the idea of sitting on a cloud watching God punish those that didn't believe in him the right way, is something I find abhorrent.  Such to the point that I think that anyone who DOES worship God for that reason is a FAR worse person for it.

I could easily type a few 1000 words on this, but since I'm sure everyone here has already thought all those same things, there is no point in writing it all out...
 
Snotnose  
Smartest (23)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:33:45 AM  

koder: Hell was what finally turned me away from Christianity.


When I was a kid I asked "but what about lost tribes that never heard of Jesus?  Are they going to hell".  "Well, unless they accept the lord Jesus our saviour into their hearts then yes, they'll go to hell."  "Even if they've never heard of Jesus?"  "That's why we have missionaries, to save those lost souls from hell".

That conversation was when I started to think the whole thing was a crock of shiat.  I think I was 9.
 
bughunter  
Smartest (5)   Funniest (8)  
2019-06-25 11:34:27 AM  
6a) You're soaking in it right now.
 
TheWhoppah  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (8)  
2019-06-25 11:35:45 AM  

HawgWild: We'll create our OWN heaven! With blackjack and hookers!


Don't forget the cocaine!  It isn't really heaven if it doesn't have cocaine.
 
durbnpoisn  
Smartest (19)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:36:23 AM  

Smelly Pirate Hooker: As an atheist, I won't say all religion is useless, some people actually use it for positive motivation or as incentive to help others, find some sort of peace of mind, etc.

I will say the impact of religion has been more negative than positive, and none of its "positive" aspects are unique only to religion, you can find peace of mind or incentive to help people without religion.

It's like when assholes yap about how sports builds teamwork or whatnot, as if nothing else can do that, so sports is vital to society. Complete horseshiat. People can work with others without having been on a sports team and people can be decent without religion. If you're an asshole without religion, getting religion isn't a guarantee you'll become decent. Chances are, you'll just be a sanctimonious hypocrite and/or a zealot. Or at least that's been my observation.


Or as another wise person said, "You can do plenty of good with no religion at all.  But to truly do evil, that requires religion."
 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (6)  
2019-06-25 11:36:31 AM  

nulluspixiusdemonica: Marcus Aurelius: more concerned about their wallets than your salvation.

Now explain "salvation".


That costs a lot extra, I'm afraid.  Email me and we can arrange an easy payment plan.
 
robertus  
Smartest (4)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:37:52 AM  

swaniefrmreddeer: It there was a hell, I'd prefer to go there for eternity over being stuck with the sanctimonious x-stains in heaven.


I mean, assuming that's where they're going.

/Been a while since my CCD, but I seem to remember a few passages about "don't be a sanctimonious douchebag" in that there book.
 
You Are All Sheep  
Smartest (25)   Funniest (1)  
2019-06-25 11:38:42 AM  
Christian: I want everyone to follow the rules of the bible!

people:  ALL the rules?

Christian: well..maybe not all of them.  the shellfish one gets in the way of my weekends, I like to shave, my clothes are cotton blends.  Probably don't stone kids for talking back, or anyone for touching a woman on their periods.  But I'm not gay so...the gay thing!  no gays!  The bible says!
 
SeaMan Stainz  
Smartest (4)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:39:35 AM  

Snotnose: koder: Hell was what finally turned me away from Christianity.

When I was a kid I asked "but what about lost tribes that never heard of Jesus?  Are they going to hell".  "Well, unless they accept the lord Jesus our saviour into their hearts then yes, they'll go to hell."  "Even if they've never heard of Jesus?"  "That's why we have missionaries, to save those lost souls from hell".

That conversation was when I started to think the whole thing was a crock of shiat.  I think I was 9.


I think I figured it out when I saw the tithing trays being passed around. Reading the Bible really sealed the deal.

All the other bs since then is just icing.
 
Crewmannumber6  
Smartest (7)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:39:39 AM  
Hitchens on the Existence of Hell & the "Infallibility" of the Church
Youtube FZ-daYFVbwc
 
OldJames  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (6)  
2019-06-25 11:40:54 AM  
If there was a hell, it would probably just a big cocaine fueled orgy. To a churchgoer, that would be hell. To a reasonable person... oh, the sign up sheet is already full?
 
LewDux [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:42:13 AM  

swaniefrmreddeer: It there was a hell, I'd prefer to go there for eternity over being stuck with the sanctimonious x-stains in heaven. F*ck I hate fundies, they make my skin crawl just talking to them, their fake smiles, sickly sweet demeanor, and general hypocrisy are just too much for me to handle.


Joke's on you, sanctimonious x-stains go to hell
 
xxBirdMadGirlxx  
Smartest (4)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:42:13 AM  

EL EM: Duh. We're in it right now.


I often feel ^ This.

bughunter: 6a) You're soaking in it right now.


And that too.
 
Bondith  
Smartest (9)   Funniest (2)  
2019-06-25 11:44:06 AM  
Why did the One True Christian god create so many non-Christians?
 
Crewmannumber6  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:44:22 AM  
Christopher Hitchens - Heaven would fucking suck
Youtube bB_dgqy6l4k
 
Dangerous_sociopath  
Smartest (10)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:44:50 AM  
IMO the biggest fault with a heaven/hell scenario is consciousness and eternity

If we are to be conscious of our state in either heaven or hell and both are eternal, then eventually you would become numb to either reward or punishment. Eternal paradise will become nothing as would eternal torture.
Presuming of course that it wasn't total bullshiat.

This nonsense is as flawed as the people that made it up.
 
jackandwater  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:45:03 AM  

swaniefrmreddeer: It there was a hell, I'd prefer to go there for eternity over being stuck with the sanctimonious x-stains in heaven. F*ck I hate fundies, they make my skin crawl just talking to them, their fake smiles, sickly sweet demeanor, and general hypocrisy are just too much for me to handle.


And they fail to remember that it is God who decides heaven or hell.  He doesn't give a rat's ass what their opinion of other people was.
 
You Are All Sheep  
Smartest (6)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:47:09 AM  

Crewmannumber6: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/bB_dgqy6l4k]


I really miss hitch.  I'd love to hear what he'd have to say right now.
 
Crewmannumber6  
Smartest (8)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:49:01 AM  

You Are All Sheep: Crewmannumber6: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/bB_dgqy6l4k]

I really miss hitch.  I'd love to hear what he'd have to say right now.


I imagine he would be reminding us that Trump is who he always was and the blame for the state of things rests squarely on our shoulders.
 
Dimensio  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (9)  
2019-06-25 11:49:53 AM  

TheWhoppah: HawgWild: We'll create our OWN heaven! With blackjack and hookers!

Don't forget the cocaine!  It isn't really heaven if it doesn't have cocaine.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
The Irrelevant Gamer  
Smartest (4)   Funniest (1)  
2019-06-25 11:50:02 AM  
Hell is the party God isn't invited to so he doesn't want any of his friends going either.
 
DubtodaIll  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (17)  
2019-06-25 11:51:12 AM  

You Are All Sheep: Crewmannumber6: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/bB_dgqy6l4k]

I really miss hitch.  I'd love to hear what he'd have to say right now.


AHHHH AHHHHH AHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHH THE FIRE THE FIRES SO HOT
 
Chevello  
Smartest (7)   Funniest (2)  
2019-06-25 11:51:53 AM  
The way it was told to me is that since heaven is eternal life, he'll would be eternal death. The real death. Complete disappearance of your consciousness.

Still, sitting around feeling holy and worshipping sounds dull, and not my sort of thing.

And if I was married twice and both wives die, which one do I get in heaven? Both? I hope they get along. What if I marry a widow? Do I just get left out when she goes back to her previous husband? Do we share?
Do the babies stay babies? Who takes care of them? There's going to be a shiatload of them.
There's just too much, and if you ask the answer is always, "it will all work out. Don't worry about it."
 
bobthenewsman  
Smartest (10)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:52:57 AM  
Hell is seeing through the eyes of others all of the selfish rotten cruel and hurtful things you did to them.
Heaven is seeing through the eyes of others the kindnesses, sacrifices, helpfulness and love you showed.
Religion is a man-made construct, and mankind is badly flawed.
Francis tells us you answer to your own conscience. At best, a good religion will inform your conscience, so your present actions will not cause future regret.
I worry that the creator will give up on organic sentience, and move on to mechanical intelligence.
Do you think? Or don't you?
 
Crewmannumber6  
Smartest (16)   Funniest (5)  
2019-06-25 11:54:26 AM  
"Now, now my good man, this is no time to be making enemies."
(Voltaire on his deathbed in response to a priest asking him that he renounce Satan.)"
 
TheWhoppah  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:54:36 AM  
All the cool people go to hell.
 
Moosedick Gladys Greengroin  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2019-06-25 11:55:10 AM  
Hell has a new owner now, according to last week's news.
 
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