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(CNN)   The bounty on Brian Laundrie is now worth three times the bounty on a pregnant Texas woman who wants an abortion, so plan your work week accordingly   (cnn.com) divider line
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    More: Interesting, Police, Law enforcement agency, Petito family, law enforcement officials, Federal Bureau of Investigation, North Carolina, separate rewards, Arrest  
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3220 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Sep 2021 at 4:36 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Copy Link



111 Comments     (+0 »)
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luna1580 [TotalFark]  
Smartest (5)   Funniest (29)  
2021-09-26 3:05:39 PM  
and thus, a Florida Man (at least in his heart, and soul, and character, ya know, where it counts) Dogg has been to the scene of the young-adult parenting of brian already.

and another farker captured that perfectly:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Lsherm [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (28)   Funniest (0)  
2021-09-26 4:17:01 PM  
That guy is dead or in Mexico. They should torture the parents for information.
 
dodecahedron [OhFark]  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (61)  
2021-09-26 4:20:22 PM  

Lsherm: That guy is dead or in Mexico. They should torture the parents for information.


Device for waterboarding your Laundrie:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Cafe Threads [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (41)  
2021-09-26 4:31:52 PM  

dodecahedron: Lsherm: That guy is dead or in Mexico. They should torture the parents for information.

Device for waterboarding your Laundrie:
[Fark user image image 393x711]


Don't forget to put them through the wringer!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
ArcadianRefugee  
Smartest (10)   Funniest (22)  
2021-09-26 4:40:59 PM  

Lsherm: That guy is dead or in Mexico. They should torture the parents for information.


Or for fun.
 
Snort  
Smartest (19)   Funniest (3)  
2021-09-26 4:43:01 PM  
Gator food after killing himself.
 
Somaticasual [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (13)  
2021-09-26 4:48:37 PM  
Sure, brain, but how are we going to catch that many armadillos?
 
mrparks  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (8)  
2021-09-26 4:49:21 PM  
At least pregnant women don't have Dog after them

...so they have that going for them, which is nice.
 
Clash City Farker  
Smartest (4)   Funniest (18)  
2021-09-26 4:50:06 PM  
How sad. That poor girl's fiance has gone missing. I do hope they can find him.
 
BitwiseShift  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (13)  
2021-09-26 4:52:29 PM  
With that kind of coin, he should change his name to "Money" -- "Money" Laundrie -- and open up a chain of banks and commercial real estate companies.  He could clean up.  Become both a meme and a verb.
 
Abe Vigoda's Ghost  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (9)  
2021-09-26 4:55:14 PM  
Easier to rat out 3 pregnant women.


I would never do that
 
replacementcool  
Smartest (15)   Funniest (1)  
2021-09-26 4:56:37 PM  
dude's killed himself because he's a farkin' coward already. If he's found, it'll be partially decomposed.
 
RoughTrickNamedJim [BareFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2021-09-26 4:57:35 PM  
he dead
 
LarryDan43  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (4)  
2021-09-26 4:57:46 PM  
Need Cadaver Dog The Bounty Hunter, cuz he's been dead for days
 
OgreMagi  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (3)  
2021-09-26 4:58:55 PM  
When they catch up to him, I do hope he resists.
 
RolfBlitzer  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2021-09-26 4:59:34 PM  
Nice, Subby.
 
The Official Fark Cajun  
Smartest (31)   Funniest (0)  
2021-09-26 5:02:11 PM  
With the newer evidence of him being seen hitting HER as well, he's either dead, or doing the survivalist thing in the woods in a different state/country.

A friend of the girl said he had spent several months living in the woods alone before, so it's safe to assume he has the skills to do primitive living at least for a duration of a coupe months.

However, I'd bet that the parents absolutely know where he went, and they just told authorities the closest national park to buy him more time to escape.
 
Fear the Clam  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (6)  
2021-09-26 5:03:01 PM  
Laundrie money!

/It's all in quarters
 
The Official Fark Cajun  
Smartest (15)   Funniest (0)  
2021-09-26 5:03:10 PM  

Snort: Gator food after killing himself.


Don't the he has the balls for that.  He strikes me as a coward, and offing yourself takes a shred of courage.
 
IamTomJoad  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (17)  
2021-09-26 5:09:32 PM  
Does the reward parlay if you catch him in Texas while performing an abortion?
 
ArcadianRefugee  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (2)  
2021-09-26 5:12:01 PM  

The Official Fark Cajun: Snort: Gator food after killing himself.

Don't the he has the balls for that.  He strikes me as a coward, and offing yourself takes a shred of courage.


Disagree with you on all counts, but hope you're right.
 
mikaloyd [OhFark]  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (6)  
2021-09-26 5:16:48 PM  
To be fair  pregnant women get slower and easier to catch as the pregnancy goes on
 
OkieDookie  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (0)  
2021-09-26 5:16:58 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Any bans on disintegrations.

Any
 
johnny queso [TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (2)  
2021-09-26 5:17:19 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
mikaloyd [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2021-09-26 5:19:29 PM  
Whar Texas Tag? WHAR?
 
Toxic Park  
Smartest (5)   Funniest (0)  
2021-09-26 5:20:03 PM  

The Official Fark Cajun: Snort: Gator food after killing himself.

Don't the he has the balls for that.  He strikes me as a coward, and offing yourself takes a shred of courage.


I'd bet a good heaping of self guilt might've helped push him over the edge.

In my mind there is a good chance that he didn't intend to kill her. And by that, I mean he was certainly intentionally beating her savagely, but the moron didn't expect it would end in her death. If that's the case he may have been riddled with guilt. That coupled with the cowardly fear of capture could've pushed him to off himself.

I do hope they catch him alive.
 
137 Is An Excellent Time  
Smartest (8)   Funniest (0)  
2021-09-26 5:24:36 PM  
There's a LOT of BLM/National Forest land out there to basically drop off the grid forever and never be found. I don't think very many people understand the rules for dispersed camping in this country, but for a month in my 20s, I spent time on the BLM lands and never saw another soul.

If the dude isn't in Mexico or somewhere off-grid, he's gonna have a bad time.
 
pastramithemosterotic  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2021-09-26 5:25:17 PM  

replacementcool: dude's killed himself because he's a farkin' coward already. If he's found, it'll be partially decomposed.


The gators and coyotes will get to his corpse
 
AeAe  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (0)  
2021-09-26 5:26:18 PM  
If they find his dead decomposing body I will ROFL. LOL!!
 
Publikwerks  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2021-09-26 5:28:18 PM  
So they are hunting for BrIaN LAUnDrIe....N
 
cautionflag [TotalFark]  
Smartest (22)   Funniest (0)  
2021-09-26 5:30:05 PM  
My money would be on he is hiding out. Parent's are too quiet if they hadn't heard from him. If they thought he was really missing, they would be pleading for someone to help find him. If he were dead and they knew, they would be pointing the authorities to the body so they could bury him. No need to keep the location secret if he's dead. To leave his body in the swamp and not say a word, that's some hard core mothering right there.
 
Abox  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2021-09-26 5:32:53 PM  
They still haven't released a specific cause of death or charged him with it.
 
replacementcool  
Smartest (16)   Funniest (2)  
2021-09-26 5:34:01 PM  

cautionflag: My money would be on he is hiding out. Parent's are too quiet if they hadn't heard from him. If they thought he was really missing, they would be pleading for someone to help find him. If he were dead and they knew, they would be pointing the authorities to the body so they could bury him. No need to keep the location secret if he's dead. To leave his body in the swamp and not say a word, that's some hard core mothering right there.


right? i can't imagine my mother helping me cover up a murder, and i'm glad she's not the kind of disgusting person who would.
 
Nick el Ass  
Smartest (7)   Funniest (1)  
2021-09-26 5:39:03 PM  
I hope John Walsh finds the guy, and tackles him before kicking him repeatedly in the balls.

img.buzzfeed.comView Full Size
 
houstondragon  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (3)  
2021-09-26 5:40:35 PM  

Lsherm: That guy is dead or in Mexico. They should torture the parents for information.


Have they checked the police station? Wouldn't put it past them hiding his ass.
 
kokomo61  
Smartest (11)   Funniest (0)  
2021-09-26 5:42:57 PM  
What I don't get is how any parent would enable their adult child like that. If it were my son, I'd be very sad, but hope that if he showed up like this guy did, I'd tell him to go turn himself in, and if he didn't, I would.

I guess not every parent is like that, though.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_Kelly_(rapist)
 
rhodabear  
Smartest (4)   Funniest (2)  
2021-09-26 5:43:54 PM  

mrparks: At least pregnant women don't have Dog after them

...so they have that going for them, which is nice.


Some executive, "so, Dog, we've got an idea for your next reality show."
 
1funguy  
Smartest (5)   Funniest (4)  
2021-09-26 5:45:14 PM  
Boy, if this has taught us anything it is to only kidnap ugly, old, brunettes!
 
JAYoung  
Smartest (4)   Funniest (1)  
2021-09-26 5:48:22 PM  
To get evidence for the reward, you're going to have to wrestle an alligator.
 
Inebriated Bolshevik Muppet  
Smartest (19)   Funniest (0)  
2021-09-26 5:49:19 PM  

rhodabear: mrparks: At least pregnant women don't have Dog after them

...so they have that going for them, which is nice.

Some executive, "so, Dog, we've got an idea for your next reality show."


He'd do it, too.

Dude is a hard-core fundy and racist as all get-out. I know because that leather-faced surfer-bro tried to hire me for $20/hr to do skip traces for him and didn't even have the scratch to pay for my DB subscriptions. I was charging $150/hr for skip traces at the time and $250/hr for dynamic surveillance. This slob wanted me to guide his team all the way in for him and practically pay for the privilege and he thought a few scenes in one of his episodes would be payment enough, you know the "exposure."

Only dickheads that actually would go hunting for desperate pregnant women are that farking cheap.
 
dodecahedron [OhFark]  
Smartest (20)   Funniest (0)  
2021-09-26 5:49:20 PM  
I can't figure out why he even bothered to drive back to Florida. Why not just make his escape from out west? The only thing I can think of is that he knew his parents would hire him a lawyer and help him hide.

I don't think he's killed himself. His parents would be looking for him and acting differently if they think he had.
 
dodecahedron [OhFark]  
Smartest (13)   Funniest (0)  
2021-09-26 5:52:12 PM  

kokomo61: What I don't get is how any parent would enable their adult child like that. If it were my son, I'd be very sad, but hope that if he showed up like this guy did, I'd tell him to go turn himself in, and if he didn't, I would.

I guess not every parent is like that, though.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_Kelly_(rapist)


See also the parents (especially the mother) of Christopher Watts, and of Scott Peterson.

I honestly believe that if my ex-husband had killed me, my ex-mother in law would have taken his side. There are some mothers who think their sons can do no wrong.
 
137 Is An Excellent Time  
Smartest (5)   Funniest (4)  
2021-09-26 5:54:21 PM  

kokomo61: What I don't get is how any parent would enable their adult child like that. If it were my son, I'd be very sad, but hope that if he showed up like this guy did, I'd tell him to go turn himself in, and if he didn't, I would.

I guess not every parent is like that, though.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_Kelly_(rapist)


Familial ties is a very, very tricky thing. I feel like many Farkers have sub-optimal relationships with family, and thus see anything involving family as a Trumper Thanksgiving adventure, but for many, family tops literally everything - even legal matters.

I wouldn't find it surprising if most parents would give their children help even in a situation like this.

The law is literally less important than family.
 
137 Is An Excellent Time  
Smartest (6)   Funniest (6)  
2021-09-26 5:55:26 PM  

dodecahedron: kokomo61: What I don't get is how any parent would enable their adult child like that. If it were my son, I'd be very sad, but hope that if he showed up like this guy did, I'd tell him to go turn himself in, and if he didn't, I would.

I guess not every parent is like that, though.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_Kelly_(rapist)

See also the parents (especially the mother) of Christopher Watts, and of Scott Peterson.

I honestly believe that if my ex-husband had killed me, my ex-mother in law would have taken his side. There are some mothers who think their sons can do no wrong.


Also, see every parent of any child justifiably killed by police. "My boy ran at the cops with a machete, but he was a GOOD BOY!"
 
1funguy  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2021-09-26 5:57:51 PM  

Abox: They still haven't released a specific cause of death or charged him with it.


That's ok! This is America and we don't run on truth or logic.

/ go back to kanada hippie
 
mrparks  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (3)  
2021-09-26 5:59:11 PM  

1funguy: Boy, if this has taught us anything it is to only kidnap ugly, old, brunettes!


Hell no. They kick and they're grumpy.
 
fanbladesaresharp  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (0)  
2021-09-26 6:01:03 PM  

The Official Fark Cajun: With the newer evidence of him being seen hitting HER as well, he's either dead, or doing the survivalist thing in the woods in a different state/country.

A friend of the girl said he had spent several months living in the woods alone before, so it's safe to assume he has the skills to do primitive living at least for a duration of a coupe months.

However, I'd bet that the parents absolutely know where he went, and they just told authorities the closest national park to buy him more time to escape.


We had a guy a few years back named Shane Miller that killed his family in Shingletown, CA, up on the NE end of the state but had very deep roots and knowledge of where his body in a region that my own roots are. Massive man hunt for this guy. He was good at hiding. He was not going to be found alive and every LEO and rancher threw resources and people to find him. His body was eventually found 1/4 from a friend's home along the local river bar when the winter floods receeded and with a bullet hole in his head.

No idea how this one is going to turn out but yeah there's guys out there that can hide in the hills. And they usually have a little help too, but nobody says anything. There's a term out there "The hills have eyes" and they do.
 
1funguy  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2021-09-26 6:02:47 PM  

mrparks: 1funguy: Boy, if this has taught us anything it is to only kidnap ugly, old, brunettes!

Hell no. They kick and they're grumpy.


That has been my experience with them...
 
Someone Else's Alt  
Smartest (9)   Funniest (0)  
2021-09-26 6:03:03 PM  
If this clown really has been hunting and fishing in SW Florida all his life they are going to have a hard time finding him unless he pops his head out.

If he was a corps on land anywhere in the park they are looking in now, any FWC would have found him already, the vultures in Florida show you the way. If he eat a bullet in the water, that may never be solved.

Considering the parents current stance, my guess is putting his car that park and waiting three days to tell the cops was diversion. Dumbass is most likely in the Everglades. I doubt they tried to get him out of the country, they most likely would have left some kind of trail the FBI would have picked up on. A couple hours drive south from their house, drop him off and keep their mouths shut for a few days and then say "Oh, are you looking for our boy? Well, we didn't know that. He went hiking in this park over there, his car was there for a couple of days before we brought it back home. Yeah, that's the ticket."
 
Farker Soze  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (1)  
2021-09-26 6:05:54 PM  

137 Is An Excellent Time: kokomo61: What I don't get is how any parent would enable their adult child like that. If it were my son, I'd be very sad, but hope that if he showed up like this guy did, I'd tell him to go turn himself in, and if he didn't, I would.

I guess not every parent is like that, though.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_Kelly_(rapist)

Familial ties is a very, very tricky thing. I feel like many Farkers have sub-optimal relationships with family, and thus see anything involving family as a Trumper Thanksgiving adventure, but for many, family tops literally everything - even legal matters.

I wouldn't find it surprising if most parents would give their children help even in a situation like this.

The law is literally less important than family.


I can see that kind of familiar attitude that they'll protect you no matter what when raised as children leading the guy to think he can get away with murder later in life in these cases.
 
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