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First, you can't leave a toddler alone for even a second:
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And you really can't leave them alone with a cooling cake:
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Toddlers have zero respect for your personal space during the day:
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And even less respect when you're trying to sleep:
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Doing normal things, like trying on clothes, becomes decidedly less normal with a toddler:
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And if you thought having a toddler would help you with a new baby, you're wrong:
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You'll find yourself coming up with solutions for toddler-created problems that would have seemed 100% crazy before you had a toddler:
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And these solutions are ones non-parents will not understand...at all:
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Eventually you won't even know what the heck you're doing (like this parent who used this "bookmark"):
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Going to the bathroom in peace is a thing of the past:
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And traveling is 1000x harder:
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Why? Because toddlers are 100% irrational:
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And even when they try to do something nice — like make you breakfast — it's a whole thing:
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But things get even wilder when toddlers start talking, because toddlers are absolutely savage:
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Basically, they don't care about you and your feelings:
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And they'll turn on you on a dime:
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Even worse, they say things that make you afraid to take them out in public:
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And they say things that make you afraid to be alone with them at home:
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Long story short, parents, this: