1. Water is, in fact, the MOST grown-up drink:
I used to think coffee was a grown-up drink. Then I thought alcohol was a grown up drink. Now I have finally achieved full enlightenment to understand that it is water that is the grown-up drink
2. Home appliances can bring great joy:
adulting is when things like these delight u
3. You can NEVER, under ANY circumstances, send a man two questions in one text:
I’ve learned in my 27 years of life that you cannot send 2 questions to a man in the same text message, or separate messages before receiving a reply to the first one. You will only get an answer to one of your questions. Simple creatures. Slow down for them.
4. Our parents' "white picket fence" dream has changed ever so slightly:
the millennial version of 2.5 kids and a picket fence is six houseplants and no roommate
5. Knowledge of Smashmouth lyrics determines a lot:
the difference between millennials and gen z is that we all love smashmouth's all star but gen z doesn't know the second verse
6. Oatmeal raisin cookies don't totally suck:
you know you’re getting older when you start liking oatmeal raisin cookies
7. Hangovers have seriously leveled up:
DRINKING AT 25: Hell yeah let's go out all night and go straight to work DRINKING AT 35: Dear diary, I had a beer last month. I've had a hangover for two fortnight. I fear this is the end
8. Tupperware = maturity:
You're not an adult until you have a cabinet full of Tupperware and every time you open it they all spill out and you can never find a matching lid for the one you want to use.
9. Losing touch with randos from high school is kind of a rush:
every time someone from my high school unfollows me, I level up
10. Lower back pain kinda comes with the territory:
My favorite childhood memory is my back not hurting
11. Meeting potential love interests is a lot harder when you're not in drama club:
Dating as an adult is hard because even when you do meet somebody you like there are very few opportunities to engineer a situation so that you're cast opposite one another in a school play.
12. And having a crush on someone can no longer be used against you:
I like adult crushes bc as a kid when someone was like “u totally have a crush on Jason” you’d b like “ME? A CRUSH? ON HIM? HOW DARE YOU SIR” and now it’s more like yeah and? what r u gonna gain from it
13. Spontaneity looks a little different than she used to:
Being spontaneous in your late thirties sometimes means going to a different grocery store than your usual chain and immediately regretting it.
14. Contrary to belief, getting a letter in the mail tends not to be "a special handwritten gift":
I remember the way I used to get excited whenever I received a letter addressed to me when I was younger but every time I receive one now I think “fucking what now”
15. It's perfectly normal to constantly have this thought:
Me as a kid: adults will know what to do! Me, and adult: the adultier adults will know what to do!
Like, CONSTANTLY.
16. And lastly, just this whole trampoline analogy:
Remember when you were little and you'd fall on the trampoline and everyone would keep jumping so you couldn't get back up? That's how adult life feels