People are sharing the final straws that caused them to end their long-term relationships, and it just goes to show that some partnerships aren't meant to last.
Reddit user u/disturbanceofmirrors kicked everything off when they asked, "People whose long-term relationship faded, what was the final straw that made you realize it was time to call it a day?" Here are some of the top-voted responses.
1. "Honestly, it was the pandemic. It really forced us to actually spend time together and I realized we kind of just didn't do much together at all. I had spent years thinking it was cool that we kept our own friends and space, but once those distractions were taken away, it was just really clear to me that we were more like roommates than a couple."
2. "A coworker of mine was talking about a great time he had with his partner, and I realized I hadn't felt like that in years with my partner. I went home after work and ended it. We both agreed it was for the best."
3. "When she 'broke up' with me for the 12th time. We had a long-distance relationship, and whenever we had an issue or a disagreement, instead of engaging in a conversation with me about it, she would say we were done and shut me out for two or three days before coming back and manipulating me into groveling for her forgiveness. The last time, I just said no to going back and stuck to it."
"She freaked out and tried to drive six hours to my place at 2:00 a.m. I got a call from her mom saying she had left in the middle of the night as a head's up, and, upon finally getting ahold of her when she was just a couple hours away, I was able to convince her to turn back."
4. "I'd sit in my car after work playing on my phone for like an hour because I just needed a break before going inside and dealing with him."
5. "I got to a point where every day when I was alone, I'd be rehearsing ways to say, 'I want to break up' and couldn't bring myself to do it when he got home. At some point, I realized that wasn't normal, and for his sake I should just end it before it goes too far. We'd been together for four years."
6. "It happened somewhere between giving up on small talk and not looking forward to the weekends anymore."
7. 'We were together for five years and long-distance for two of those years. I realized one day that it felt like just going through the motions when she answered the Skype call. I could see it in her eyes too."
8. "He was a workaholic, to the point that I saw him about six days per month."
9. "After two years, she went on a trip and I picked her up from the airport. She said how much she missed me, and I realized I really didn’t miss her."
10. "I was watching The Big Bang Theory and realized that despite the running joke that Amy can't get any tiny bit of affection from Sheldon, he still managed to be more loving than my then-husband."
11. "When I realized I was needed and not wanted. Constantly trying to make someone happy who didn’t want to be happy."
12. "I went into the relationship knowing that she liked to drink, and she went into the relationship knowing that I didn't drink any longer. But we really liked each other and wanted to make it work. When she would drink, she would get angry at me for not drinking, like I was judging her or lording it over her."
"She would get drunk and black out, I would clean her up and tuck her in, and then go home. Near the end, when this would happen, I would call the next day to check up on her, and the first thing she'd say was, 'Are you calling to break up with me?' And the answer was always, 'No, of course not,' until the day I just had to say, 'Yeah, I think maybe so.'"
13. "We lived together, but actually lived completely separate lives. Basically, a housemate I shared a bed with."
14. "I knew it was over when I cared more about his wellbeing than he cared about his own wellbeing. I would have moved mountains for him if it made his life easier, and he just continuously put himself in shitty situations. I eventually gave up. You can't be with someone who doesn't care about themselves."
15. "I was in a long-distance relationship and got this sinking feeling in my stomach whenever I thought about moving to the city he lived in. Then, one day I had a job interview there, and I also happened to have a lot of friends in the area. After the job interview, I hung out with my friends and had a blast, but the sinking feeling didn't go away. I eventually realized that I wasn't afraid of moving to the city he lived in; I was afraid of living with him."
16. "I knew it was over, but the day after my grandfather passed away, she couldn’t even give me a call to see how I was doing because she was at a Halloween party, and that just soured the whole relationship in my mind. I was worried she was in trouble, but she just ghosted me for the night."
17. "After more than 17 years together, she no longer wanted to put in the effort and would rather spend her time on social media, ignoring our obvious issues. So, after I'd finally had enough, I took her phone out of her hands and forced a face-to-face, sit-down chat to air out the issues."
"In the end, it was worth it and I didn't realize how much of a prisoner I felt like in my own home until I had my own life again."
18. We hardly saw each other anymore, but the final straw was: I had surgery and he didn't visit me until a few days afterward. He brought me a little microwaveable pizza and ate half of it. We'd been together for almost 5 years."
19. And finally, "When I realized I didn’t know if I was in love anymore. My mom actually put it into perspective for me: 'If you were still in love, you’d know it.'"
Responses have been edited for length/clarity.