Anti-Shorts Dudes are the Flat Earthers of the menswear community. My legs just look weird in shorts, these otherwise reasonable human beings will tell you. I’ll look like a little boy, they will argue with a straight face, as if all that separates them from some kind of magical reverse-Big situation is a mere 15 inches of fabric. Well, we’re here today to end the debate once and for all with a heavy wallop of cold, hard facts: everyone—yes, even you—can pull off shorts.
Especially these shorts, which are every bit as clean and classic and broadly, inarguably wearable as your favorite chinos—because, spoiler alert, they’re cut from pretty much exactly the same fabric in the same flattering array of fits. That means no matter if you have John Cena’s carved-from-stone calves or stems roughly the same length and diameter as the average flagpole, one of these pairs is ready and waiting to flawlessly frame your legs and sync up effortlessly with the entirety of your closet. So for crying out loud, accept the truth already. It’s muggy out there. Set your legs free with the very best chino shorts.
The Shorts You Can Wear to a Wedding
Dolce & Gabbana Bermuda shorts in stretch cotton
For a fashion house best known for grandiose, Baz Luhrmann-y maximalism—they literally sent
this getup down the runway mere days ago—Dolce & Gabbana sure know how to nail the basics. Exhibit A: these dictionary-definition-perfect white Bermuda shorts. They’re as snugly tailored as your best suit trousers, with a hint of stretch mixed into the cotton for ease of movement, all falling an extremely prudent (especially by
D&G standards) two inches or so above the knee. That lands them among the dressiest options on this list—crisp enough to stand up to a blazer without looking even a smidge out of place.
The Shorts You Put On Without Thinking
Rag & Bone classic chino short
Fun fact: Sidney Crosby has a
lucky jockstrap he’s worn every game he’s played since his teens. He’s had it so long that at this point it’s practically a part of him. And though we’d advise against becoming
that attached to any item of clothing (especially one that, ahem, intimate), this Japanese twill number from Rag & Bone has all the makings of a future all-time fave you’ll want to throw on nearly as often as Sid does his cup. They’re cut looser through the leg—just the right amount of weekend bagginess without entering frumpy territory—and dyed a shade of impossibly deep black that’ll hide all manner of party fouls and impromptu games of touch-turned-tackle football the summer brings your way.
The Shorts You Rock in Hyannis Port
Abercrombie & Fitch plainfront shorts
President Kennedy might be All-American
spring style incarnate, but summer belongs to
JFK Jr. And these shorts look like they were stolen right out of John John’s late-’70s wardrobe: Nantucket red and a daring display of thigh. For best results, pair ‘em with other New England prep-school staples: a crewneck sweatshirt or fitted polo; a
rugby shirt, maybe; and definitely,
definitely boat shoes.
The Shorts That’ll Break Your Athleisure Habit
Polo Ralph Lauren Prepster stretch-cotton twill shorts
Yes, your comfy-as-hell basketball shorts are
mostly in style right now. But that doesn’t mean you can wear them
everywhere. Show up in elasticized mesh to brunch with your folks, and you won’t hear the end of it for months—or more likely, if your mom is anything like ours,
decades. Save yourself the unending migraine by rocking these Ralph joints instead: same hidden drawstring, stretchy waistband, and overall laid-back vibe as your hoops pair, served up in a far more presentable and versatile khaki package.
The Shorts to Replace Your High-School Cargos
Saturdays NYC “Evan” short
Unlike their
full-length brethren, cargo shorts have yet to really undergo a stylish renaissance. In their stead, we submit to you these handsome military-fatigue-inspired shorts. They’ve got all the hardy, utilitarian goodness you’ve come to appreciate in
work pants—with plenty of storage space in the four sizable pockets—except, you know, they’re shorter.
The Shorts You Save For Extra Steamy Days
Everlane The Air chino 7” short
Everlane didn’t dub these guys “The Air” for no reason. They’re feathery light—the fabric clocks in at a crepe-like 4.2oz, less than a third of the weight of your average denim—about as close to wearing nothing on your bottom half as you can get without being arrested. When the air outside feels denser than wet cement and the sun is blaring like a Neapolitan pizza oven, this pair will save your suffocating legs and keep you looking smart in the process.
The Shorts That Make You 10 Percent Cooler
There are two types of people in this world: those who can cut straight lines with scissors, and those who really, really can’t. If you belong to the latter camp, rendering you unable to chop old chinos into rad new shorts without sloppily and unevenly screwing ‘em up, here’s your solution. Thanks to that stellar shade of dark-greenish khaki and perfectly-imperfect frayed hem, you’ll reap all the rebel-cool style points without anyone being the wiser. Wear them with a hefty white oxford and some busted canvas kicks you actually broke in yourself—only one fugazi distressed piece at a time, please and thank you.
