Elections Newly formed Blairite-Labour offshoot commits immediate boner, forgets to reserve domain name

So a few members of the "business friendly" wing of the Labour Party in the United Kingdom recently decided to split from the party over ultra-principled opposition to Corbynism. The problem is that, perhaps equipped with the knowledge that literally nobody wants 1990s-era big business liberalism, they haven't really elucidated any of those principles.


But, in truly vintage Blairite fashion, they face planted out of the gates. Since they forgot to reserve the domain name for their group, UK citizens helped them put their principles into words using their most contentious recent splits with the party. If you go to IndependentGroup.org, you'll find their platform, included below.






Arming Saudi Arabia
Despite International Humanitarian Law, arming Saudi Arabia to bomb Yemen into the Stone Age is very important to us. Our members, such as Mike Gapes, are committed to enjoying more free junkets to Saudi Arabia to help aid the the famine they're imposing, which has killed over 56,000 people and leaves 8.4 million people at risk of starvation, whilst chanting the mantra "MBS is a reformer" over and over. To our detractors we say: Venezuela is Hitler.

Anti-Abortion
We are tired of a dangerous left politics guaranteeing choice. The Independent Group's Gavin Shuker supports the work of extremist Christian anti-abortion groups.

Xenophobia
Before he was against Brexit, Chuka Umunna was for it. The Independents understand that being serious means pandering to the worst instincts of our media.

Privatised Water
We understand that when you have financial interests in the water industry, as Angela Smith, you must pass bills to privatise it. Only the loony left would call such seriousness a conflict of interest.

More seriousness coming
Lobbyists, please looks us up.

There Is No Alternative
Lobby politics is great. The Iraq War was the best thing that ever happened. Rupert Murdoch is a man of our values.

Troll level : Pepe

New labour 2.0 can fuck off to the tories where they secretly yearn to be

I think 4 out of the 7 had already lost no confidence votes in their constituencies anyway so were getting de-selected, which is why they're probably not going to have by-elections.

You'd think that in 2019 a national organization would have at least one IT person who would make sure to get that done immediately, even if everybody else forgot about doing the "computer stuff."

Chuka literally means, in Portuguese, the act of people injecting water up their asses to clean it. Remembers me of Santorum.
About the topic I'm not sure about the political repercussions. Corbynism hasn't won that many votes either. Although if you support the kind of stuff Chuka is espousing why not just vote Tory?

I’m just here for the immediate boner

They sound about as competent as AOC.

See, idiots can be found in all political varieties.

Canned Tuna said:

They sound about as competent as AOC.

Click to expand...

Biting. Topical.

See, idiots can be found in all political varieties.

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These are offshoots from a left-wing party.

Derp.

Trotsky said:

These are offshoots from a left-wing party.

Derp.

Click to expand...

/sarcasm

Should've used GoDaddy. Then, not only would they hold the rights to their name, theyd also get a fast red convertable and a slutty blonde chick.