Typing is esports, and my arms are very sore

Honestly, for a long time, I thought I was a pretty skilled typist. I love typing games. I usually beat all my friends in words-per-minute (WPM) tests. Usually, I’m the runaway champion. I credit this skill to always being an internet kid. I have been Too Online since I was a teenager. Now, typing is essentially my job.

On Tuesday morning, I noticed that registration for the Ultimate Typing Championship — a reboot of the 2010 tournament — had opened. I will never be an Overwatch or StarCraft 2 pro, but typing? Yeah, I figured this was my chance.

I was wrong.

It sounded easy to qualify: Participate in at least 50 typing races on TyprX, a WPM-typing site that has typists racing to type quotes of varying lengths. Typists have from Aug. 3-9 to make it into the top 25 leaderboard; only those finalists will make it through to the livestreamed event on Aug. 22. I am devastated to share with you that after 50 typing races — all of which I completed on Tuesday — I’m ranked 126th out of 200 typists. I am not even in the top half of typists on the site.

My arms are very tired and sore. It was probably not in my best interest to complete 52 typing tests in a span of a few hours. However, there are a few days left in the Ultimate Typing Championship qualifiers. There is room for improvement — only the top 30 races count toward the average speed that determines who’s made it into the top 25. I doubt I will make it into the top 25, but I would like to rank in the top 100. I could settle for that.

On Tuesday, I learned something important: I am not, actually, a very good typist. My friends, really, are just very bad. (Or, perhaps, it’s my keyboard’s fault? There’s a lot of travel!!)

The Ultimate Typing Championship will be livestreamed on Twitch and YouTube on Aug. 22. All 25 participants will get a Das keyboard, but the top prize is $5,000.