WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—With legal jeopardy suddenly mounting for the former President, Mike Lindell, better known as the MyPillow Guy, has offered to smuggle Donald J. Trump out of the country in one of his company’s duvet covers.
After Lindell learned that Trump’s taxes would soon be made available to Congress, the pillow executive decided to help out his friend by making the exclusive duvet offer, he said.
“Donald Trump will be wrapped in a king-sized duvet cover made of a hundred per cent Egyptian cotton and finished with a sateen weave,” Lindell said.
“In our MyPillow duvet cover, Donald Trump will travel in comfort all the way to Moscow,” he said.
The MyPillow Guy said that the duvet is perfect for smuggling Trump out of the country because it is “soft, luxurious, and, most important of all, breathable.”
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