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(Fox 4 News Dallas)   Fark-ready headline: Deaf man sues Pornhub over lack of closed captioning   (fox4news.com) divider line
159
    More: Amusing, Hearing impairment, Yaroslav Suris' lawsuit, Closed captioning, court documents, adult video website, YouTube, TMZ report, Deafness  
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2461 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jan 2020 at 8:43 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Copy Link



159 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all

 
Brawndo [TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (38)  
2020-01-17 8:33:22 AM  
He should have watched the whole movie. The guy fixes the hearing aids.
 
NuclearPenguins [TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (33)  
2020-01-17 8:40:12 AM  
He did not hear that coming.
 
SpaceMonkey-66 [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (30)  
2020-01-17 8:42:55 AM  
(Spurt).......(splat)

(.) (.)
 
arrogantbastich [TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (18)  
2020-01-17 8:42:57 AM  
<Man: Gruuuuunts>
<Woman: My eyes! My eyes!>
 
Tomahawk513 [TotalFark]  
Smartest (34)   Funniest (44)  
2020-01-17 8:47:34 AM  
Fake Moaning...
Fake Moaning...
Fake Moaning...
...
Fake Moaning...
Man: I'm coming.
Woman: Yes!
---The End---

There, I just closed-captioned 90% of porn.  Where do I get my check?
 
FiftyTonsOfFlax  
Smartest (8)   Funniest (12)  
2020-01-17 8:48:21 AM  
I normally use captions when watching video, but with Pornhub I get by just fine with context clues.
 
Cheron  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (8)  
2020-01-17 8:48:35 AM  
Is there a way to do closed captions with a thin-lipped British upper crust accent?

Man: Ah yes, I find that most invigorating and pleasurable
Woman: As do it, most stimulating. Shall we something else?

Once you come up with a generic script you can add it to any film.
 
OkieDookie  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (7)  
2020-01-17 8:48:53 AM  
*moaning*
Woman: Oh Gawd
*grudening*
*fleshy slapping sounds*
 
maddan [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (33)  
2020-01-17 8:49:42 AM  
I feel for him.  There is nothing better than going home after work, and relaxing to some soothing porn dialogue.
 
169th Cousin [recently expired TotalFark]  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (12)  
2020-01-17 8:49:56 AM  
The Blind guy wants Braille!
 
Jake Havechek [TotalFark]  
Smartest (19)   Funniest (26)  
2020-01-17 8:50:23 AM  
Nothing like telling the world in a legal filing that you're a chronic masturbator.
 
thismomentinblackhistory  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-17 8:51:29 AM  
Odd that it wouldn't be a feature in any video player. I am surprised there isn't some free assistive tech to solve for that.
 
JohnCarter  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (8)  
2020-01-17 8:51:59 AM  
Too bad he can't hear the musical soundtracks...that's what really sells good porn

Boom chicka wow....
 
Merltech  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (36)  
2020-01-17 8:53:16 AM  

169th Cousin: The Blind guy wants Braille!


66.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
Fano  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-17 8:54:04 AM  

JohnCarter: Too bad he can't hear the musical soundtracks...that's what really sells good porn

Boom chicka wow....


I did like the cd back in the day
 
kittyhas1000legs [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (6)  
2020-01-17 8:56:24 AM  
"How much for the pizza?"

"Eighteen dollars. A dollar an inch."

"A dollar an inch, huh?"
 
Nimbull  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (19)  
2020-01-17 8:57:43 AM  
See... this is why I stick to the off line stuff. Though that can be hazardous as well if you aren't careful. I was enjoying my collection in the garage where I keep my stash of punch card movies and the gardener came in with the leaf blower and suddenly paper cuts everywhere.
 
BMFPitt  
Smartest (9)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-17 8:58:59 AM  

169th Cousin: The Blind guy wants Braille!


PornHub actually does have narrated porn for blind people.
 
BitwiseShift  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-17 8:58:59 AM  
I was hoping for deaf and dyslexic.
 
geggy  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-17 8:59:59 AM  
Watch the body language and facial expression for clues to what the theme of the movie is.

/deaf
 
MythDragon  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (10)  
2020-01-17 9:00:01 AM  
<Ooo eee, Ooo ah ah, ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang
Ooo eee, Ooo ah ah, ting tang
Walla walla bing bang>
 
Target Builder  
Smartest (9)   Funniest (9)  
2020-01-17 9:00:55 AM  
These days he could just tape "hey bro... hey sis... bro.... sis" on the bottom of the screen and be done with it.
 
damageddude [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-17 9:01:34 AM  
[Background of cheesy dialog, bad music, grunting, slapping and screaming]. Done .
 
brap [TotalFark]  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-17 9:02:11 AM  
Blind
Youtube Wi14Sosu2B0
 
abhorrent1  
Smartest (12)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-17 9:02:33 AM  
Really? I usually mute porn.
 
Jake Havechek [TotalFark]  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-17 9:04:09 AM  
He should be grateful he never had to rely on woods porn.
 
dennysgod  
Smartest (8)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-17 9:06:27 AM  
I didn't even know they had sound. I have the computer on mute so nobody knows I'm watching porn.
 
OldJames  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (8)  
2020-01-17 9:08:16 AM  
What's next, lawsuits if there isn't a sign language interpreter for donkey shows?
 
Brawndo [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (49)  
2020-01-17 9:08:37 AM  

BMFPitt: 169th Cousin: The Blind guy wants Braille!

PornHub actually does have narrated porn for blind people.


Good: Porn narration
Bad: The narrators are Fran Drescher and Gilbert Gottfried
 
Target Builder  
Smartest (6)   Funniest (20)  
2020-01-17 9:09:00 AM  
Was anyone else expecting it to be a story about a deaf dude who got canned for watching porn at work because a  loud porn ad pop up opened in the background but he thought it was muted and he's sitting there in the office unaware everyone around him can hear a screaming fark session going on on his computer?
 
zalbarthemad  
Smartest (4)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-17 9:09:16 AM  
MEH, ADA does not apply. Pornhub is not a public entity.
 
aagrajag  
Smartest (8)   Funniest (26)  
2020-01-17 9:10:27 AM  
His suit seems frivolous at first, but would you deny this man the enjoyment of the two finest lines of pron dialogue ever spoken?

"But I poop from there!"
"Not today, you don't."
 
Eightballjacket  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (11)  
2020-01-17 9:10:33 AM  

kittyhas1000legs: "How much for the pizza?"

"Eighteen dollars. A dollar an inch."

"A dollar an inch, huh?"


Hmmm, guess that is why my wife calls my wang a Hot and Ready, only $5.
 
Tax Boy  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (7)  
2020-01-17 9:10:40 AM  

Brawndo: BMFPitt: 169th Cousin: The Blind guy wants Braille!

PornHub actually does have narrated porn for blind people.

Good: Porn narration
Bad: The narrators are Fran Drescher and Gilbert Gottfried


That's my fetish.gif
 
Marcos P  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-17 9:15:06 AM  

Merltech: 169th Cousin: The Blind guy wants Braille!

[66.media.tumblr.com image 592x320]


One of the greatest moments in comedy.
 
Petey4335  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-17 9:17:30 AM  
Sigh. Why am I admitting this? As someone who is, ahem, stimulated aurally way more than visually, he isnt missing much from the wasteland he is suing.
 
TuckFrump [recently expired TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-17 9:18:02 AM  
Back Then: Who reads Playboy for the articles

Today: Who watches PornHub for the cheesy dialog
 
Russ1642  
Smartest (6)   Funniest (15)  
2020-01-17 9:18:40 AM  

Brawndo: BMFPitt: 169th Cousin: The Blind guy wants Braille!

PornHub actually does have narrated porn for blind people.

Good: Porn narration
Bad: The narrators are Fran Drescher and Gilbert Gottfried


Gilbert Gottfried Reads 50 Shades of Grey
Youtube XkLqAlIETkA
 
bigsmellypenis  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (2)  
2020-01-17 9:19:42 AM  
He must be real upset about all the ASMR content
 
phalamir [TotalFark]  
Smartest (12)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-17 9:19:43 AM  

OldJames: What's next, lawsuits if there isn't a sign language interpreter for donkey shows?


He's trying to file a frivolous ADA suit.  Or, more accurately, he is being by an ambulance chaser to be the aggrieved party in a frivolous ADA suit.  The lawyer is banking on the fact it will cost less to pay him ... er, his client, yeah, that's the ticket ... to go away than to caption all of Pornhub's content.  And then he collects his 85% lawtalking fee and waits a few years to find another deaf dude willing to go click on a single Pornhub video for a couple thousand dollars.
 
Marcos P  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-17 9:20:36 AM  
...something about masturbating with only one hand....
 
Prince George  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-17 9:22:43 AM  

Brawndo: BMFPitt: 169th Cousin: The Blind guy wants Braille!

PornHub actually does have narrated porn for blind people.

Good: Porn narration
Bad: The narrators are Fran Drescher and Gilbert Gottfried


That depends. Do you want to laugh your ass off or jack off.

/definitely couldn't fap to that.
 
Arkanaut  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (3)  
2020-01-17 9:24:09 AM  

Target Builder: These days he could just tape "hey bro... hey sis... bro.... sis" on the bottom of the screen and be done with it.


Someone can probably build an automated porn caption generator pretty easily.

"Oh hi {babysitter|secretary|cheerleader|teacher|student|boss|handyman|delivery man|pool boy|not stepdaughter|not stepmother|not stepsister|}, didn't see you there. Why are you naked? I had no idea your {sex organs} are so big!"
"What a surprise, I was just thinking of you! Want a piece of this, big {boy|girl}?"
"Sure!"
[groaning and squelching for 10 minutes]
 
Sir_Spanksalot  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2020-01-17 9:25:08 AM  
Giaaahhhhh, Sploosh! ....Oh, what a lovely tea party.....mmmm shake it Madamme!
 
khatores  
Smartest (8)   Funniest (3)  
2020-01-17 9:25:21 AM  

TuckFrump: Back Then: Who reads Playboy for the articles

Today: Who watches PornHub for the cheesy dialog


maddan: I feel for him.  There is nothing better than going home after work, and relaxing to some soothing porn dialogue.


On one hand I'd like to know what those Japanese girls are saying to each other...OTOH it sounds much more dirty when I can't understand a word.
 
Fano  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2020-01-17 9:25:31 AM  

Brawndo: BMFPitt: 169th Cousin: The Blind guy wants Braille!

PornHub actually does have narrated porn for blind people.

Good: Porn narration
Bad: The narrators are Fran Drescher and Gilbert Gottfried


Gilbert Gottfried Reads 50 Shades of Grey
Youtube gLmc1bAlRxY
 
TylerParry  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (6)  
2020-01-17 9:27:18 AM  
"Was ist das?"

"Mein scheisse..."
 
Recoil Therapy [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (2)  
2020-01-17 9:28:21 AM  
I saw some foreign porn once that had English subtitles...and yeah it was as bad as some of you are imagining.

Point being though, PH could probably argue that a reasonable accommodation had been made and to shove the suit where the sun don't shine.

/Which is a category all on its own...
 
evilsofa  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-17 9:29:54 AM  
1
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:30,920
Subtitles by evilsofa
www.subscene.com

2
00:00:48,457 --> 00:00:49,792
Uh uh uh
(more uh uh uh)

3
00:01:13,816 --> 00:01:16,651
Grunt grunt grunt grunt grunt
Guys, I think we should turn back.

4
00:01:16,653 --> 00:01:18,886
And lose good money?
Not a chance.

5
00:01:18,888 --> 00:01:20,522
Stay close.

6
00:01:28,397 --> 00:01:29,599
(miscellaneous groaning)
 
Dr Jack Badofsky  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (1)  
2020-01-17 9:30:26 AM  

abhorrent1: Really? I usually mute porn.


Well, I guess some people are into people that can't talk getting it on, but that's up to you...
 
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