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(Patheos)   Pastor: The vibrating poster in my house is a godly miracle. Reality: The poster is vibrating because of the a/c unit. Pastor: Nu-uh, it's a godly miracle   (friendlyatheist.patheos.com) divider line
    More: Strange, Sitting, grand scheme of things, big La-Z-Boy chair, Shultz of Elijah List Ministries, living room, interesting thing, broadcast yesterday, big old poster sign  
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2824 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Apr 2021 at 9:05 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Copy Link



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TuckFrump [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (26)  
2021-04-14 9:01:32 AM  
Probably not the only thing that vibrates in his house
 
Circusdog320 [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (13)  
2021-04-14 9:07:38 AM  
How did that butt plug get there...I don't rightly know...but it is truly a godly miracle!
 
2021-04-14 9:08:48 AM  
When you believe the creator of the universe incartated himself into a Jewish preacher, performed some magic tricks and CPR, and came back from the dead after being killed for dissing the Roman Empire, you'll believe anything.
 
Klyukva  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (1)  
2021-04-14 9:09:18 AM  
Streetlamp.
 
2021-04-14 9:10:39 AM  
AC vibrating a "proud to be American" poster is a sign from God??
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-14 9:13:48 AM  
Fundagelicals (particularly of the Pentecostal variety) tend to remember the version of the story that casts their religion in the best light. (I spent many years among them watching them do this.) As far as I can tell, it's usually not consciously mendacious (at least among the rank-and-file.) If there are multiple explanations for a weird coincidence, but one of them is "GOD DID A MIRACLE and therefore all 247 bullet points on our statement of faith are accurate," that is the one they'll glom onto.

The behavior is strongly reinforced, too, because if you tell a story where the punch line is "OBVIOUSLY GOD LIKES US" you get strong praise from your community, and nobody will call bullshiat on your logic.
 
6nome  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (5)  
2021-04-14 9:13:50 AM  

Private_Citizen: AC vibrating a "proud to be American" poster is a sign from God??
[Fark user image image 425x425]


It's a bigger stretch than he gave to little Jimmy last weekend.
 
DoBeDoBeDo [TotalFark]  
Smartest (12)   Funniest (0)  
2021-04-14 9:14:34 AM  
"We're not going into a time where we're sorry for all the sins we've done as Americans "

Uhhhh, WUT?   Forgiveness only comes if you recognize and feel remorse for your sins.  He's not even good at pretending to be Christian
 
2021-04-14 9:15:31 AM  

TuckFrump: Probably not the only thing that vibrates in his house


Wind whistling through his ears is more of a resonance than vibrating. Unless you mean the money in his pockets from his sheep, er, "flock". But I would classify that more as jingling.
 
wage0048  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (3)  
2021-04-14 9:16:07 AM  
I like to imagine that God occasionally performs ridiculous miracles just to get a good laugh out of how people "interpret" them.
 
Mad_Radhu  
Smartest (10)   Funniest (0)  
2021-04-14 9:16:36 AM  
God is a pretty sad, impotent being when this is the level of miracles we get these days.
 
Mantour [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (31)  
2021-04-14 9:17:46 AM  

Martian_Astronomer: Fundagelicals (particularly of the Pentecostal variety) tend to remember the version of the story that casts their religion in the best light. (I spent many years among them watching them do this.) As far as I can tell, it's usually not consciously mendacious (at least among the rank-and-file.) If there are multiple explanations for a weird coincidence, but one of them is "GOD DID A MIRACLE and therefore all 247 bullet points on our statement of faith are accurate," that is the one they'll glom onto.

The behavior is strongly reinforced, too, because if you tell a story where the punch line is "OBVIOUSLY GOD LIKES US" you get strong praise from your community, and nobody will call bullshiat on your logic.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
aagrajag  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (0)  
2021-04-14 9:17:53 AM  

Martian_Astronomer: Fundagelicals (particularly of the Pentecostal variety) tend to remember the version of the story that casts their religion in the best light. (I spent many years among them watching them do this.) As far as I can tell, it's usually not consciously mendacious (at least among the rank-and-file.) If there are multiple explanations for a weird coincidence, but one of them is "GOD DID A MIRACLE and therefore all 247 bullet points on our statement of faith are accurate," that is the one they'll glom onto.

The behavior is strongly reinforced, too, because if you tell a story where the punch line is "OBVIOUSLY GOD LIKES US" you get strong praise from your community, and nobody will call bullshiat on your logic.


Well said. It's more self-hypnosis that it is lying, which makes it even more pernicious.
 
DoBeDoBeDo [TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (1)  
2021-04-14 9:18:51 AM  

Mad_Radhu: God is a pretty sad, impotent being when this is the level of miracles we get these days.


Our track record with burning flora lately has been pretty terrible.  I'd like to commend him/her for giving us a break there.
 
Elliot8654 [recently expired TotalFark]  
Smartest (11)   Funniest (10)  
2021-04-14 9:19:30 AM  

Mad_Radhu: God is a pretty sad, impotent being when this is the level of miracles we get these days.


2000 years ago; rise from the dead.
1000 years ago; cures fatal diseases
500 years ago; breaks known laws of physics.
200 years ago; makes statues cry
60 years ago; cures diseases known to go to remission on their own.
15 years ago; appears on toast
5 years ago; makes flags wave slightly harder during prayer event.
3 days ago; causes a poster to ruffle a bit.
 
aagrajag  
Smartest (14)   Funniest (4)  
2021-04-14 9:20:00 AM  

Mad_Radhu: God is a pretty sad, impotent being when this is the level of miracles we get these days.


The chart need to be updated with "making a poster vibrate".

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Invincible [BareFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (4)  
2021-04-14 9:20:44 AM  
I don't know. Some days, AC feels like a divine blessing. I buy it.
 
The Envoy  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2021-04-14 9:20:59 AM  
Rustling a poster?  I've done that snoring.  Their description of god as "omnipotent" is still just a couple of letters out.
 
suze  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2021-04-14 9:21:45 AM  
How can these people walk and breathe at the same time?

It's a farking MIRACLE!
 
labman [TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2021-04-14 9:22:37 AM  
But God created the air conditioner.  See.  It all makes sense...
 
Solty Dog  
Smartest (4)   Funniest (15)  
2021-04-14 9:23:19 AM  
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2021-04-14 9:23:22 AM  
The first preacher was the first rogue who met the first fool.

Humanity will never get over this idiocy. Humanity is doomed to die of the pox of religion.
 
2021-04-14 9:23:47 AM  

DoBeDoBeDo: Mad_Radhu: God is a pretty sad, impotent being when this is the level of miracles we get these days.

Our track record with burning flora lately has been pretty terrible.  I'd like to commend him/her for giving us a break there.


Flora is my co-worker's name and yeah, she's hot.
 
2021-04-14 9:25:13 AM  
This is my God.
roadrunnerlodge.comView Full Size
 
OlderGuy [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2021-04-14 9:25:31 AM  
At least some 'modern' humans have narrowed the field down to one deity, which is being milked for all it is worth.... oldest scam ever.
 
indy_kid [recently expired TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (1)  
2021-04-14 9:26:45 AM  
So, they rolled the stone from the tomb, and Jesus was GONE!!!  HE IS RISEN!!!

The 4 Roman soldiers who stole the body and pitched it into a cistern are off to the side, trying hard to contain their laughter.

/Occam, biotches.
 
2021-04-14 9:28:42 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
dothemath  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (2)  
2021-04-14 9:33:03 AM  
And we say it's kind of like a big La-Z-Boy chair.

What happened to those chairs?
When I was a kid almost every house had at least one of those big ass chairs with the hand crank on the side. Those things are the real miracle from God.
 
OlderGuy [TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2021-04-14 9:35:06 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: This is my God.
[roadrunnerlodge.com image 850x850]


Got an 18 lb cat named Rumble..  purrs 7.8 on the Richter scale..  purrs in his sleep.. don't need coins.
 
2021-04-14 9:36:48 AM  
You talk about intelligence... God is speaking that this is a time when He wants us to be proud to be Americans.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-14 9:47:23 AM  
I've said it many a time on a hot day....thank the Maker for AC!
 
Anenu  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2021-04-14 9:48:30 AM  
This reminds me of the various old superstitions where people sought to read the future by looking for signs based on birds and such. Of course when you look for signs like this you can find any sign you want for anything and anything can be a sign so its all meaningless.
 
Hey Nurse! [OhFark]  
Smartest (6)   Funniest (0)  
2021-04-14 9:49:11 AM  
Well no wonder little kids die from brain cancer. God is busy vibrating posters.
 
2021-04-14 9:50:08 AM  

Anenu: This reminds me of the various old superstitions where people sought to read the future by looking for signs based on birds and such. Of course when you look for signs like this you can find any sign you want for anything and anything can be a sign so its all meaningless.


If you see an owl in your house, David Bowie is your god.
 
2021-04-14 9:52:43 AM  
"But things like that is God. You talk about intelligence... God is speaking that this is a time when He wants us to be proud to be Americans."

Your deity can speak and write but he sends you clear messages by... making a poster vibrate in time with an air conditioner.

I dunno man, I gotta say - your deity seems kinda weird to me.
 
tical  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2021-04-14 9:53:10 AM  

indy_kid: So, they rolled the stone from the tomb, and Jesus was GONE!!!  HE IS RISEN!!!

The 4 Roman soldiers who stole the body and pitched it into a cistern are off to the side, trying hard to contain their laughter.

/Occam, biotches.


One thing I never understood. So, the physical body of Christ is in Heaven? Like everyone else is in spirit-form, but Jesus is there in the flesh, probably in serious need of deodorant?
 
2021-04-14 9:54:48 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: When you believe the creator of the universe incartated himself into a Jewish preacher, performed some magic tricks and CPR, and came back from the dead after being killed for dissing the Roman Empire, you'll believe anything.


Carpenter
 
jso2897 [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2021-04-14 9:56:53 AM  

Invincible: I don't know. Some days, AC feels like a divine blessing. I buy it.


This. This guy is in Florida, where the invention of air conditioning IS a blessed miracle.
 
2021-04-14 9:57:29 AM  

DoBeDoBeDo: "We're not going into a time where we're sorry for all the sins we've done as Americans "

Uhhhh, WUT?   Forgiveness only comes if you recognize and feel remorse for your sins.  He's not even good at pretending to be Christian


Christians aren't supposed to feel endless shame.
They're supposed to confess, get forgiveness, and go on about their lives, sinning no more.
 
hissatsu [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (4)  
2021-04-14 10:04:41 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
aagrajag  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (0)  
2021-04-14 10:10:45 AM  

jso2897: Invincible: I don't know. Some days, AC feels like a divine blessing. I buy it.

This. This guy is in Florida, where the invention of air conditioning IS a blessed miracle.


The invention of air conditioning is the product of human curiosity, genius, and industry.

"Miracle", my fat sweaty ass.
 
2021-04-14 10:16:14 AM  
Somebody's going to start selling Jesus vibrators now so when you yell Oh God! you mean it.
 
2021-04-14 10:19:48 AM  

aagrajag: jso2897: Invincible: The invention of air conditioning is the product of human curiosity, genius, and industry.


No you don't get it.  Human curiosity, genius and industry CAME FROM GAD!  CAN I HAVE A HALLELUJAH!

He is responsible for everything about us.  Well, all the good things.  The bad things about us are our fault.
 
2021-04-14 10:25:23 AM  
Wilhelm Reich had this sussed.  Things of the spiritual world can only be spoken of by the use of symbolism.  This symbology can easily be subverted by authoritarians to control the masses by manipulating the imagery.  Not very complicated.
Hey Christians: God is love- not an air conditioner rattling your stupid poster.  Love can save your life, but not if you test it by standing in front of a train.
 
2021-04-14 10:26:58 AM  

TwilightZone: Somebody's going to start selling Jesus vibrators now so when you yell Oh God! you mean it.


Oh, I would pretty much bet that there are already Jesus shaped vibrators. But I don't think it's something I want to have on my Google history.
 
Elliot8654 [recently expired TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2021-04-14 10:28:28 AM  

Billy Bathsalt: Wilhelm Reich had this sussed.  Things of the spiritual world can only be spoken of by the use of symbolism.  This symbology can easily be subverted by authoritarians to control the masses by manipulating the imagery.  Not very complicated.
Hey Christians: God is love- not an air conditioner rattling your stupid poster.  Love can save your life, but not if you test it by standing in front of a train.


I struggle with this; if god is love, but as an abstract, why use the term "god" when it has so much added baggage, and not just use "love"?
 
aagrajag  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2021-04-14 10:29:58 AM  

Schmerd1948: TwilightZone: Somebody's going to start selling Jesus vibrators now so when you yell Oh God! you mean it.

Oh, I would pretty much bet that there are already Jesus shaped vibrators. But I don't think it's something I want to have on my Google history.


"Baby Jesus buttplug"

Fark user imageView Full Size


"Shame"? What's that?
 
DoBeDoBeDo [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2021-04-14 10:31:12 AM  

truthandjustice: DoBeDoBeDo: "We're not going into a time where we're sorry for all the sins we've done as Americans "

Uhhhh, WUT?   Forgiveness only comes if you recognize and feel remorse for your sins.  He's not even good at pretending to be Christian

Christians aren't supposed to feel endless shame.
They're supposed to confess, get forgiveness, and go on about their lives, sinning no more.


Did I say shame?   Remorse != shame.   If you don't feel remorse for your past actions what's to keep you from repeating them?   You should have some humility that you are fallible and try to not fall into old sins.   It's especially important when you still haven't fully made amends to those that were wronged in the past.
 
2021-04-14 10:31:40 AM  
I'm just imagining some omnipotent all powerful being having nothing better to do than fark with some random preacher by vibrating a poster on their wall.
 
crzybtch  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2021-04-14 10:32:46 AM  
Proud to be an American
and he bought it at Pier 1
TFF
 
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