Spice Up Your D. & D. Game

Figures of adventurers druids fighters and thieves fighting a dragon in a D.  D. fantasy game.
Photograph from Alamy

Perhaps the best part of any Dungeons & Dragons game is creating fun, memorable characters that you and your friends can take on wild adventures. But all too many D. & D. players find themselves stuck in old tropes that just don’t feel fresh anymore. A knight with a dark past? Forget it. A cleric with a crisis of faith? Been there before. Here are some character suggestions to help your party spice up your D. & D. game.

Lawful Evil Human Wizard

We’re all familiar with the bearded wizard who spends hours up in his tower, concocting spells to save Baldur’s Gate. You’re not playing him. You’re playing his co-worker who steals all the credit for those spells, and then tells his manager that the wizard kind of helped but really just gave notes. This character has the extra benefit of getting two charisma rolls to check if your team believes you when you say that you did the most damage to the Lord of Beholders, even though the others were so focussed on themselves that they didn’t notice, and it’s honestly disappointing that they won’t acknowledge your contribution.

Chaotic Good Elven Bard

Hundreds of years old and as musical as the forest itself, your elven bard spins tales that never seem to have a point and include a lot of information that listeners don’t need. You’ll sit on a fallen log and strum your lute while crooning, “You wish to know why I’ve come here? The reason I’m in Waterdeep right now is, O.K., backing up, my sister’s partner, who, coincidentally, is in this band, and I’m also a musician, so that’s sort of weird, but her partner during the day runs a shipping company out of Skuld, which has such good food if you haven’t been there, but, anyway, my sister’s partner was trying to expand in business and talked to Todd—do you know Todd? Such a good guy—who’s always wanted to break into the construction business, which, as you know, is really hard in Skuld, maybe you don’t, because in Skuld there’s this zoning law. . . . ”

Neutral Dwarven Barbarian

Dwarves are notoriously proud—protective of their mines, even more protective of their friends. Which is why your dwarven barbarian just wishes people would listen to her. Like, you know what you’re doing! Ugh, the mage just cast fireball but you specifically told him to cast charm person and now the Umber Hulk is all aggro. It’s unbelievable! Why can’t everyone else just follow some simple suggestions? You’re not trying to be pushy or anything! Fine. You don’t even care. If the thief really wants to waste her abilities checking for traps when she could be stealthing up behind enemies for a surprise attack, that’s on her. Don’t come crying to you when they all die.

Chaotic Neutral Halfling Rogue

The halflings in your village only desire quiet and comfort. They’d rather ignore the threat of Strahd von Zarovich than find a single strand of bravery in their hearts. You, however, are different from other halflings. You are focussed on the most noble of endeavors: fostering one-sided friendships in which you are never emotionally available to people but still expect them to be at your side at the drop of a hat. When your warrior approaches, broken by battle with the mind-flaying Illithids, you’ll say, “Oh, my Gods, I know how you feel. I can’t remember if I took my coin purse with me today, so I’m really anxious it was stolen, but maybe I left it at home.” Does that warrior help you look for your coin purse? No. To be honest, it kind of feels unfair of your warrior to put so much emotional weight on you when you’re having a rough day, too.

Lawful Good Half-Orc Paladin

The life of a half-orc is not an easy one. Shunned for their heritage and feared for their mighty strength, many are forced to live in solitude. Fortunately, your human father is extremely wealthy, which somehow means that you earned your wealth, too! Look, you totally get that being born into money gives you an advantage. But that doesn’t mean you have it better than anyone else. It’s easy for people to say you only got into Neverwinter Academy because your father’s name is on a building, but you were also a backup on your high-school jousting team. And it doesn’t count as freeloading if your father built apartments for royal bankers and let you stay in one for free. Also, can we talk about how insulting it is that the innkeeper asked your party to kill the rats in his basement? If he knew who your dad was, he would be grateful you were there. Maybe you should mention it. Not because you want to talk about your powerful dad, but just to let people know.