You'd think Sunset Boulevard would be hard to impress at this point. But judging by the people scrambling for their phones and mouthing expletives as we drove by, they'd apparently never seen a Rolls-Royce quite like Odell Beckham Jr.'s before. The color, for starters, is an orange that's somewhere between electric tangerine and Snooki. The rims, blacked out, are massive. Like, manhole-cover massive. And the sound system was loud enough to fill the Comedy Store's lobby with Lil Baby's “Drip Too Hard” while we waited for a light to change. But no feature on the car turned heads like the hood ornament: a chrome figurine of The Catch.
Odell refers to The Catch as though it's a universally consequential event. Like the big bang. But in case it didn't sear into your brain the way it did for some, he's referring to his second-quarter reception in the New York Giants' November 2014 Sunday Night Football game against the Dallas Cowboys. The play where Odell, levitating faceup and fully stretched out, caught the ball with less surface area of his fingertips than it takes to unlock an iPhone. The announcer called it an absolutely impossible catch. Many others would agree. The Catch might not have actually changed the world, but it changed Odell's life. And now his life is changing all over again.
After a 5–11 record last season, the Giants traded Odell to the Cleveland Browns, setting him up with a fresh start this fall. Who's responsible for Odell needing a “fresh start” in the first place is up for debate, but what is agreed upon by all concerned is that things got a little out of hand in New York the last couple of seasons. Eli Manning publicly called him out, suggesting he was unfocused. Ray Lewis said Odell had removed God from his life. Odell often seemed miserable between plays and on the sideline. Now, though, he'll be lining up alongside his best friend, fellow wide receiver Jarvis Landry, and a young quarterback, Baker Mayfield, with a strong arm and possibly even stronger dance moves than Odell's. (More on that below.) But a few things have carried over to Cleveland from New York, too. His massive five-year $95 million Giants contract, for one. And less sexy: his turbulent relationship with the media, the league, and legions of football know-it-alls. Over his first five years in the NFL, each constituency has come after Odell for not being serious enough, for being too emotional, for being a poor teammate. And he has a lot to say about those standards: how he's lived up to them or not and on whom the true responsibility for that reputation rests. It's been quite a run thus far. For practically every day of the first part of his career, Odell has lived in that sacred overlap of constant criticism and superlative celebration—the kind reserved for only the greats.
It was a cliché cloudless day in Southern California when we pulled into Odell's driveway. He was living in L.A. for the off-season, as so many players do these days. In the house, I checked Twitter to find a handful of journalists criticizing him for being in California instead of Cleveland for OTAs with his new team. OTAs—early team practices—aren't mandatory, though, which made the whole dustup feel to Odell like more of the same old unjustified scrutiny. Over the course of the afternoon, I could tell he was almost ready to leave it all—the sun, the car, his four Jurassic-size Presa Canarios—and get his new life with his new team underway. But not quite yet. The media would have to wait just a little longer before they could “shoot at” (his words) Odell in person. Before they could ask him how he felt about the trade, his tortured final season in New York, his life off the field. In the meantime, though, he was willing to go there with us, with an uncommon level of candor. We'll get to all that. But first, we began with something important to any Louisiana native like Odell: bounce music. This was still the off-season, after all.
GQ: How would you describe bounce music?
ODELL BECKHAM JR.: It's from New Orleans. I automatically think of Airline Skate Center and Mardi Gras. It's very up-tempo. Most girls twerk to it. When they hear a bounce song come on, that's just what they do—it's part of the culture. We get live to that in the South. We jig, we bounce dance, New Orleans dance, all that. It's really just a way of expressing yourself.
Everything you do, on the field and off, is rhythmic. It's like there's always music on in your world.
Definitely. Even in my quiet moments, you can see my head bounce. I remember I used to wait around for sock hops. We were very young. It was like our one time in three months we would party. I remember when I'd get in trouble with my mom, and she would be like, “I'm not allowing you to go to sock hop.…”
Devastating!
I would rather you ground me for three weeks than not let me go to that. Music has always been a huge part of me. It's really like charades. There's times when I dance to a song and I hear it again another time and the move is way different than it was the first time. That's just me. I don't even know there are other people around when I'm in such a place.
What was the most fun part about your rookie season in 2014?
I was always the underdog. I wasn't the number one drafted receiver in my class, even though I wanted to be. I said I wanted to be a top-10 pick—I wasn't. I said I wanted to win a Heisman in college—I didn't. At LSU, I wanted to win a national championship. I got there and we got blown out. And then I was like, I have to win Rookie of the Year. There's no ifs, ands, or buts. I have to win Rookie of the Year. I pulled my hamstring, and everyone was like, “Oh, he's a bum, he's a bust,” and it was such a downward spiral. I remember going to church and posting a picture of the scripture I was reading, and people were commenting like, “You need to be praying for your hamstrings” and “You don't need to be in church, you need to be on the field.” Just weird stuff. So I remember being like, “I'm going to show the world who I am.” And the best part about my rookie year, not to say there was no expectations, but I was living freer. I was living out my dream. So it felt like everything was surreal.
Are you happier now, or were you happier then?
I always say this: I wouldn't change anything for the world for where I'm at now. I also always say this: Be careful what you ask for and be careful what you speak.
Why?
I didn't know that getting to that level—or being on the level, like, where a LeBron is at—that I would have to deal with certain things. Like, I really didn't know that when I was younger. People ask me what advice I would give, and I'm just like: Be careful what you ask for. Like I said, I wouldn't change anything for the world, but I wish the world would have more love than hate in it.
So let me ask you again: Are you happier now, or were you happier then?
At this moment? I'm happier than I've ever been. I've never been at this place. And it's because of the trials and tribulations, it's because of the mistakes, it's because of the failures, the successes. Everything that has got me to this point.
What do you say to the fans or critics who want you to get in line more?
I get made out to be some rule breaker. I'm following your rules and your guidelines, but I'm just having fun doing it! It's crazy because you give us a voice and then you want to control how we use the voice. And I've been having questions about it recently, because it doesn't really make sense to me. It's like you create a monster, but then you don't know how to control it anymore, so then you want to tear it down. It's all backwards.
So would you rank your happiest times as now, rookie year, and then the seasons in between?
Definitely. Just considering what I had been through. You have to think about a 21-year-old, 22-year-old, 23-year-old, 24-year-old kid. Honestly, the whole reason I play football is, one, for my momma. Secondly, to inspire these kids. I was a kid playing in the Georgia Dome at halftime for 15 plays, and I was there to watch Mike Vick. To watch Allen Iverson. To watch these guys who inspire me to be who and where I'm at today. So it's all for these kids.
You were an all-district basketball player. Golf Digest called your swing “beautiful.” Yet you chose to play pro football—arguably the most oppressive sport when it comes to individuality. Do you ever think about how life would have been with a different sport?
All the time, bro. Literally every day. Especially on those days I'm down. I could've done any sport in the world. Not many people know, but I used to talk to my momma and I'd be like, “Ma, if I was done doing this now, would you still be proud of me?” And this was a couple of years ago, about two or three years ago.
No way. You really thought about retiring? For real?
Twenty-four years old. Just off it. To love something so much to a place where it is my everything, and to watch it be tainted, or all kinds of things be in the middle of it. Like, it hurt me to my soul. It be like loving someone and putting them on such a level to where life is about them and you love that person through anything. Through the good, the bad. And to watch them do something so heinous and vulgar. Something just so, like, almost unforgivable. You still love them, but it's, like, Wow.
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I gotta have you clarify: When you say “they,” who are you talking about? Because football, the game, hasn't changed.
Everything around it.
So is that media? Is that league rules? Is it teammates? Coaches? What or who is responsible for making you think of retiring at 24?
Not to get on conspiracy-type talk, but there's so much other stuff that goes on in the National Football League than football. It's unreal. I said in college that I fear the day that they make the game I love a business and not just the game I love. And as I slowly, surely, seen that, it changed my heart about it. But then, at the same time, I have to feed my family. I have to set myself up for one day when I have kids—like, I need to set their future.
People will hear you say that and say it sounds like you're complaining. “It's a gift to play in the NFL.” But I think they forget how competitive it is to be a professional football player. You—all of you guys—have to earn it.
Nothing was given to me. It doesn't matter what school you went to, how you grew up, none of that. You still had to earn the right to be in the NFL. And because of all the stuff that goes on—and don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I don't respect the fact that I am in the league. But at the end of the day, I earned the right to be here. You know what I mean? When I say “they,” it's not just people, it's also the energy people put in those areas. We earned the right to be there. I understand everybody has freedom of speech and everyone can have an opinion, but it's like, they voice their opinion…
But you can't voice yours.
I have a hard time dealing with that. We're supposed to let you just shoot at us and shoot at us and shoot at us. And for me, the problem I always run into is that I'm always trying to be authentic and real. Even in scenarios where I shouldn't be. Like this is, when you're authentic and real—I've been in situations where I said I felt like this and it was taken and turned the wrong way.
Do you think you're under more scrutiny than others?
I watch other players in the NFL be able to go to Vegas and get wild and go onstage and be videotaped and chugging beer or whatever. Going crazy. And it's like, “Oh, man, look at how much fun he's having. Look at how he's having a blast! This is amazing.”
To use a name: Do you think you've done anything more inappropriate than, say, Rob Gronkowski?
Probably not. It's the same thing. It's like, Why can't I have fun? People tell me I'm supposed to be a role model. Well, what are they supposed to be? We're human beings at the end of the day. We earned the right to play in the NFL, but we also earned a life of our own. “I just had a talk with my uncle, and he agreed that my privacy is about the only thing I need back.”* You never hear about my personal life. You never hear about the woman I'm dating or anything like that. And you won't. I don't need to give you that. You want to talk about my job, football? We can talk about that. But this is my personal life. There's two separate lines. So I always try to keep that.
Who do you think is a better dancer: you or Baker Mayfield?
Baker can dance! He's going to have to come see me, though! I try to encourage people to be themselves. I try to encourage Jarvis to come out of his shell. Be comfortable being uncomfortable. Like, just live. Life is so precious and so short. That's really how I think.
Are you worried about the OBJ brand shrinking by playing in a smaller market like Cleveland?
I forever will have love for the New York fans. They gave me my first home. But there's this sense of entitlement—like I was made there. And in my head, that was the first place I had the opportunity to show the world what God had set out for me to do. It didn't matter where I was at. Now, did it help that it was Sunday Night Football for the New York Giants versus the Dallas Cowboys? One thousand percent. But The Catch happened around the entire world. I feel like it wouldn't matter where I was at—once you got hooked onto who I was and what I was doing. And who knows? If I was in another place, you don't know if the numbers would've been more or less.
Did you like the added pressure that comes from playing for a New York team?
I loved it. Not for attention purposes. I just loved New Yorkers. They're such a unique group of people. Good or bad. It's both sides. But God made me. You know what I mean? God made me. That's just where he gave me my first opportunity to show where I was at. It was like lightning struck for me. I remember looking on Instagram after the game [with The Catch] and my followers went up, like, 100K. I was like, This is crazy. And then the next week, going into practice, 200K. It was going at a rate that I was like: If you were to ask me five years ago if I would've had 13 million followers on Instagram, I would've told you, “Nah—no way I would have 13 million followers.”
Do you think you'll ever make a catch better than that one?
Yeah. That was just one on that stage. And then you got the haters that are like, “Yeah, they still lost that game.” That has nothing to do with what we're talking about. I go back and look at my stats and how people talk about me, and it's like, “Oh, but you never won anything,” and you do this and that. And I go and watch every highlight, and every highlight I'm watching, it's third down. It's making a big play. It's late in the game when we're down, to get us closer. These are game-changing moments. It's just hard to take a lot of criticism and have to sit there and be quiet all the time when you really have so much to say. And I feel like I've really dumbed down a lot of what I've wanted to say because I know you can't say everything and I still never would. 'Cause if I do say the truth truth, then things get taken the wrong way. Sometimes things are better left unsaid.
When commentators like Cris Carter say you need to grow up and stop acting like a boy, does stuff like that affect you?
Anybody who knows me knows. It's hard to sit there when Cris Carter talks about me. Ray Lewis is another one who sits there and talks to me like a little brother and shows love to me in person—we hug and embrace—but then they get on TV and say some stuff like “He doesn't know who God is.” Like, how do you judge another man's relationship with God? I feel like Drake when he said, “I'm always the bigger artist, that's why I have to play it smarter.” That's how I feel. But it's hard, as a man, to just sit there and take and take and take, and not want to say something or do something back or retaliate.
If you seem unbothered after a loss, people are upset.
It's like you don't care enough.
Exactly. But when you're livid during a losing game, folks say you're being emotional.
And that I'm immature.
Do you think race plays a part in the double standard you're dealing with?
Race plays into everything, whether we want to believe it or not. I remember posting a video of me and Tom Brady, and I hate to even bring him in this, but he's passionate. He cares—he wouldn't still be playing if he didn't care for the game the way that he did today. He throws a cup, he yells at referees, he yells at his coach. It's because he cares that bad. He wants to win that bad. Now, because he has won six Super Bowls they validate him and say, “He's won six Super Bowls.” I want to win the same way he wants to win. Whether I hit a kicking net or whether I do whatever. I want to win that bad. I care about winning more than anything. I didn't get into this to celebrate and score touchdowns. I didn't get into this for followers for Instagram. It's, like, you've built a monster, but now you're upset at the one you built. Why are you mad at me? While I'm playing football, I'm not holding a camera on myself. Everything is about what you show the world. I get my free time 16 times a year, hopefully, plus a few games when we make the playoffs. I get 16 times to do this. There are 365 days in a year. You're controlling my freedom. This is my joy, this is my time.
I think most people would be surprised to hear you classify your “free time” as the time you're actually playing football.
All I get is 16 of those moments. I wake up every day from 6:30 a.m., to then leave the facility at 5 p.m., to then have to go home, do two hours of rehab, to then do whatever, to then need to go to sleep, like I said. I have six hours a day to do what they would call free time. My free time is spent on a table, doing a massage or yoga. There's not enough time in the day. So when I do have that game-day Sunday, I thank God for waking me up today, because nothing else matters. I get to go out here and do what I love. And that time gets stripped from me. I've literally had days where I've felt it stripped from me and I go home. That is when I'm most hurt, and it's the hardest days to deal with. You have your whole family come there to watch and, hopefully, be there to celebrate with you, and you don't get to have that.… It's not so I can score touchdowns, so I can do a celebration. It's to win. To be able to play my very best on the field every single time.
That's another reason you'd possibly be better off in a different sport. Baseball players play, like, 728 games a year.
Not even that! In football we all play a position. We're all depending on somebody else. If the right tackle misses a block or the right guard misses a block and it's a pass play and the quarterback is getting sacked, you don't get your opportunity. Basketball, you can come down and get crossed up, dunked on, take the ball right back, hit him up, and hit a three. It's an individual sport, but it's within a team.
Do you think there's any validity to the criticism that you're not a good teammate?
You can literally ask any one of my teammates. My on-the-field football never gets talked about unless people are talking about antics. They don't talk about numbers. Where's the reel at? People only want to focus on one thing. I feel like I'm one of the only people in the NFL where my personal life and my brand are the only things that get talked about. They'll do a whole segment about the car that I have on ESPN. Why? I've never been arrested. Never have and never will be putting my hands on a woman. I've never done any crimes. I've never done anything but some little petty, dumb stuff that we keep harping on. They asked, how could I have changed if I didn't go to OTAs? I have to be the very best me to help my team. We don't get paid to be at OTAs. If you want players to be there, make it mandatory and pay them. I got traded to a new team, I already paid to live here in L.A. for the entire summer. Are the Giants or Cleveland going to reimburse me for what I've already paid? Are they going to reimburse my trainers, who I've already paid? Are they going to reimburse me for the dogs who I've had to put in kennels? There's a lot of expenses. Are they going to pay for the rehab I was doing? No. They don't do all of that. That stuff is all on our own. So when it gets time for us to have our own life outside of football, they say something. When the game is done with you, they chew you up, spit you out. You're done. You're done. I have to take care of myself and my family. Period. I talk to everybody in the locker room. When someone gives me free stuff, I ask them to send a hundred of them for my teammates. A hundred Sprayground bags… They put them in the locker room. I asked for them to send me Casper mattresses. They sent me 100 Casper mattresses for the staff and the team.
A hundred mattresses?
A hundred king-size mattresses.
How did that work logistically? Did they send it to their houses?
They sent it to the facility. I told them to come put 'em in their car after practice.
It seemed like the general consensus among New Yorkers was that the Giants didn't get enough for you in that trade.
I didn't care what they got for the trade.
Where were you when you got the news?
I was in Paris heading to dinner. I saw the calls and was like, “Wow, I wonder where I'm going.” They had been talking about trading me. They could never get past my past. There's always that past that whatever happened, I would never be able to outgrow it. That's why I don't try to bring none of this to Cleveland. I don't even care. When I get there, this is a fresh start for me.
But how'd you feel in that exact moment?
My initial reaction was not disappointment.… I felt disrespected. Like, after everything I've done for them. This is me being honest: This team has not been good for the last six years. Period. Even the year we went to the playoffs and everyone was talking about this and that. And we went there, and I didn't have a great playoff game. Don't get me wrong, I had a terrible game. But I left the game with seven targets, and I'm supposed to be your number one receiver. I left the game with seven targets. We lost. They scored 40 points. It's just all bad. I felt disrespected, because I felt like I was a main reason at keeping that brand alive. They were getting prime-time games, still, as a 5-and-11 team. Why? Because people want to see the show. You want to see me play. That's just real rap. I'm not sitting here like, “It's because of me.” But let's just be real. That's why we're still getting prime-time games. I felt disrespected they weren't even man enough to even sit me down to my face and tell me what's going on.
Who, specifically, is “they”? The G.M.?
The G.M. And I'll forever have respect for [Giants president and CEO] Mr. Mara. Everything he's ever done for me, he's shown nothing but love. Even when we were having our talks, it was coming from a place of love. I could always feel it. So I'll forever have respect for him. But then to be called like that and then be texted by your coach and be like, “Oh, yeah, I heard the news.” Yeah, you heard the news? It happened because of you. The reason I'm gone is because of you. It was just tough because of the way I initially felt. On the other side of it, I was excited about a new start because I had been—honestly, I had been praying to God the season before this season for a change.
You felt like you just couldn't play there anymore.
I can't do this anymore. I just can't do it. I wasn't happy. I wasn't in a good place. And like I told you earlier, I feel like everything is about happiness, and I just was not. And even thinking about my car: I had ordered that car in December.
So it was coincidental, or, rather, divine that it was orange.
In December, I was like, “Man, I want the one with the orange inside.” And then I get traded to Cleveland, and it's just so funny because it was like I had been feeling a shift in my life. I don't read too much into the signs and all that stuff, but somebody sent me a lot of stuff during that time about what I was going through and how I was feeling a shift, and I was just so ready for Him to take me, and then it happened. So I never question what He does. I never question what He does. I never, never questioned it at all. I couldn't sit there and be like, “Oh, yes, I'm happy I'm going to Cleveland. Let me go pick out my house, all my clothes, everything, and I'm just gonna go.” You have to think about it—you're leaving behind an entire life that you created. Moving to another place.
Have you spent a lot of time in Cleveland?
Not yet. The only time I've spent time there was when I was playing and when I was there for LeBron—stuff like that. But I think the reason it triggered so much emotion out of me is because it reminded me of how my life worked. Like, I would spend time at a certain place, I would get to know everybody, and then me and my mom would move. I'd spend time somewhere else, and then me and my mom were out. And that was very hard for me, because it's hard to build relationships with people, and care for people, and love people, and then you have to pick up and then you're gone.
You probably had as much say in where you moved then as you did when you got traded to Cleveland.
I had no say-so at any point. When I was younger. Now. You know? And I felt like I had moved past my past. I really felt like: Why did we even sign this contract? What did we sign this for? That's what I felt during the season. Why did we do this deal to not feel long-term, because I don't feel like y'all are still wanting me to be here long-term during the season. I could feel it during the season. I would be up and down the sidelines saying that, like, “Why did you sign me?” I could've just not did this at all.
Have you thought about cutting the hair to punctuate the fresh start?
I'm thinking about it.
Really?!
Yeah. But I would probably grow it back out. I feel like after I cut it I would just get used to not having it. But I know kids all around the world love it.
Do you think the hair is part of your signature in the same way the Catch logo is?
It definitely is, bro. I have a personal attachment to it. Just because it's my hair. It is my hair. I've had grown men come up to me with my haircut.
That must be weird.
It is weird. But it's, like, Aye bruh, if that works for you.
There was a period of time when a lot of gossip sites—specifically black gossip sites—would constantly say that you were closeted. They'd call you “excited” in a hot-tub photo with your teammates or simply just say you're gay. How'd that make you feel?
I've never had an opportunity to talk about this. Honestly wasn't offended. I've never once had no problem with anybody who has their own personal life that they live. I have friends who are gay. It was almost more funny to me. I almost messed with them even more. It's like when someone gives me an ultimatum, I'm usually always going to go to the opposite way of what you want me to go. So when they would say that, I would almost mess with them even more. I have no problem with anyone's sexual orientation.
I feel like posts like that only contribute to homophobia in the black community. The idea that someone must be gay—or that being gay is in any way shameful—because they're dancing or have blond hair seems so small-minded.
Or because they're “close with other men.” Even like little videos where they see me leaned back or something, they'll say that I'm looking at a guy's ass. And I'm like, “Bro! You don't even know where my mind is at.” It was just a lose-lose. They'd see me with a white woman and be like, “Why don't you be with any sisters?” I have no problem with any race. Love is love. If you're attracted to somebody, you're attracted to somebody. There was such a stigma built up, [as though] I don't like my own women. It's like, no, I don't like anybody who annoys me. [laughs]
You've talked a lot about media being unfair. Does it hurt worse when black media sites are unfairly critical of you?
Yes, it makes it worse when it comes from the black community. I feel like everything is a double standard. You want us to support the black community, and then you go out and bash black people for being happy. So someone can't be happy, someone can't be dancing. “Oh, he's always around guys, he's never around girls.” I just don't want you to see what woman I'm with, and I don't want you in my personal life. I always try to keep my personal life my personal life. I feel like I don't owe that to anybody.
Let's fast-forward: You've just played your last game in the NFL. Let's say that is 10 years from now…
You read my mind.
You want to play for 10 more seasons?
Yeah. Or until I can pass Jerry. That's the goal: 23,000 yards.
Okay! So you've just passed Jerry. You've got a few grays in the blond hair. What would you want to do after that? Any chance you'd be a commentator?
No chance. No disrespect to those guys. If you see me on one of those shows, it's because I'm getting a healthy paycheck. It's going to be that. And I'm going to be up there to empower others. I'm here to uplift you. If you see me talking, it would be to uplift us. To catch somebody when they're falling. Not to, like, push them a little more or kick them when they're down. So after football, I could see the movie thing. I can see some shows. I can see some Hollywood-esque stuff. I can also see me mentoring a lot. I just love doing that.
Before we wrap up, let's go back to the new beginning. I want to make sure we're clear on something: Are you or are you not excited about playing in Cleveland?
I'm so excited about the opportunity that I have to be in Cleveland! I think it goes for everything I stand for when I talk about legendary. The Catch was cool. It was legendary, in a sense. But legendary is going to Cleveland and trying to win a championship. And I have to go back to this comment because I said something recently about being the Patriots: Who does not get into this game to be 11-and-5 or 12-and-4 every season, to win their conference, to win the championship, to go to the Super Bowl? What else would you do this for? Every year at the Giants, when they'd ask me, “What are your goals this year?” I would say to win a Super Bowl. There's no sugarcoating it. Even if you feel like your team can't do it, the goal is to win the Super Bowl. I don't understand what else I'm playing for. Playing to have a good season? No, bro. I'm trying to win the Super Bowl.
What's one thing you're going to do differently in Cleveland than you did in New York?
I think I'm just going to stop worrying so much about the politics and all that. I'm still trying to navigate how I want to do that. If I'm going to be real and it's going to get turned and taken, then I'm just here to talk about football.
Like: I'm just talking to the press so I don't get fined.
That approach! And I'm just going to deal with whatever is said about me for doing that. Because at the end of the day, I'm going to be happy. You know? I'm just going to. If there's one thing, to narrow it down to one thing: I think I'm just going to be happy.
Mark Anthony Green is GQ's special projects editor.
A version of this story originally appeared in the August 2019 issue with the title "Unguarded."
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PRODUCTION CREDITS:
Photographs by Paola Kudacki
Styled by Mobolaji Dawodu
Hair by Art Pique
Grooming by Hee Soo Kwon for Dior Beauty
Produced by Portfolio One