Ken Blaze-USA TODAY Sports
The Road Trippin' podcast with Richard Jefferson, Channing Frye, and Cleveland Cavaliers sideline reporter Allie Clifton is apparently the place to go if you're an NBA player looking to unload some seriously off-the-wall takes. Just over one year ago, Kyrie Irving appeared to tell everyone he thought the earth was flat.He has since become sort of the poster boy for flat earthers across the, uh, globe, and even shares some dank memes about it on Instagram. Not wanting to be left out off the Guards Who Proffer Batshit Opinions About Science and the World While Playing for the Cavs list, Jordan Clarkson has a take: Humans were once giants who kept dinosaurs as pets.It's true. That Clarkson thinks this, that is. It is certifiably not true that Earth was once lousy with a bunch of Fred Flintstones and Dino the Dinosaurs.The relevant part of the interview begins with things that another co-host, D.J. Montage, does not believe in. One of them is Elvis (that's probably worth another blog). The other is dinosaurs, which sets Clarkson off. First he says he doesn't believe in dinosaurs at all. Then he "corrects" himself and says they were actually dogs for, like, 75-foot-tall humans.
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Clarkson: I don’t believe in dinosaurs either. Well, actually I do. I believe that, OK this is going to get a little bit crazy. I’m gonna take y’all a little left on this. Y’all know how we got dogs and stuff, right? So I think it was bigger people on the world before us, and like the dinosaurs was they pets.
[lots of incredulous laughing and jokes about dinosaurs on leashes]
Montage: So how big were these people?
Clarkson: Well, you look at a dinosaur, they gotta be three times bigger than them.
Montage: Where are their bones?
I really recommend you listen to it to hear the satisfied "mmhmm" at the end. It all goes down at around the 40 minute mark.But just to set the record straight, this theory presupposes a few things we know are not even in the same geographic period with correct. First, that humans and dinosaurs lived at the same time. Scientist estimate that dinosaurs went extinct 66 million years ago. Homo sapiens—modern humans—evolved roughly 200,000 years ago. Not quite a robust Missed Connections section going on here.Second, that not only did humans roam primordial earth with dinosaurs, but that they towered over them. I really don't think this needs to be said but, to date, no one has ever found a fossilized human femur the size of an apartment building. And lastly, that dinosaurs would not absolutely rip that giant bone off your leg if you tried to put a leash on it.Anyway, skip tonight's game and just wait until Wednesday, when Cleveland plays Toronto.Clarkson: Mmmhmmm.