Kevin McCarthy is obviously a big fan of the debt ceiling. (Or at least the Cyrano who writes Kevin McCarthy’s thoughts is.) Little-known fact: that’s not the only ceiling that Kevin McCarthy has an opinion about. Read on to find out whether he likes or dislikes each of the following ceilings:
Likes, obviously.
Likes—he’s dreamed of looking up at it his whole life!
Likes—they make him feel tall.
Dislikes (see above).
Likes (see: “glass ceiling”).
Likes—he never emotionally left it behind.
Likes—especially when looking up at it, while applying chapstick.
Dislikes, obviously.
Dislikes—college doesn’t make you smart. He should know.
Likes—should not be raised higher than his ankles.
Dislikes—why is he so mean?!
Likes—don’t tell anyone, but he thinks Biden is a pretty rad dude. And the ceiling has all kinds of pretty pictures on it!
Likes—he’s been so confused. Also dislikes, because, like, what even *is *the debt ceiling?
Likes—everything was easier back then. For example, though it’s a stretch to say that his stuffed animals thought that he was a genius, there was one Teddy bear who once commented that he seemed quite sharp.
Likes—free samples!
Likes—he can stare at it and then blink cool dark spots into the chambers of Congress.
Likes—the spinning mobiles soothe him to sleep.
Likes, obviously.
Likes—it technically counts as a room where people aren’t laughing at him. ♦
