FARK.com: (9775393) "Don't let strippers in your house"

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		"Don't let strippers in your house" (fox59.com)		160
		More: PSA, Firearm, guns, Swaggerty, owner Billy Swaggerty, Handgun, Gun, Assault rifle, Rifling

• • •

11114 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Oct 2017 at 5:13 PM (6 years ago) | Favorite | share: Copy Link

160 Comments (+0 »)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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LewDux

Smartest (1) Funniest (4)

2017-10-21 3:24:54 PM

Kokomo - The Beach Boys HD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Tom_Slick

Smartest (29) Funniest (0)

2017-10-21 3:58:47 PM

Alternatively bolt your gun safe to the floor.

Sid_6.7

Smartest (2) Funniest (34)

2017-10-21 4:03:15 PM

Howard County gun owner Billy Swaggerty said he learned a bitter lesson after his back door was kicked in last spring and more than a dozen firearms, some of them assault-style rifles, and the safes they were kept in were stolen.

So, male strippers?

Barfmaker

Smartest (9) Funniest (46)

2017-10-21 4:36:59 PM

and the safes they were kept in were stolen

Well then they aren't SAFES are they, they're just BOXES.

Kouta

Smartest (2) Funniest (2)

2017-10-21 4:40:26 PM

Fox 59? So, what part of central Indiana made Fark with a headline involving strippers?

*reads TFA*

Kokomo?

My first guess was that some rich asshole from Carmel did something stupid enough to make the news.

cyberspacedout

Smartest (3) Funniest (60)

2017-10-21 4:53:59 PM

Now is not the time to talk about stripper control.

davidphogan

Smartest (6) Funniest (10)

2017-10-21 4:56:14 PM

cyberspacedout: Now is not the time to talk about stripper control.

You can't control a stripper, you can just watch the mess they leave in their wake.

I had a roommate who brought home too many strippers.

fusillade762

Smartest (40) Funniest (13)

2017-10-21 5:00:17 PM

Over his wife's objections, Swaggerty let the woman move in.

I had probably three .22 rifles

If you have so many guns you can't remember how many it may be time to cut back on your collection.

That Guy What Stole the Bacon

Smartest (7) Funniest (26)

2017-10-21 5:13:00 PM

"I had probably three .22 rifles, two shotguns, numerous pistols, I had an SKS which is .762 millimeter, I had an AK 74 which is a .554 millimeter and I had an AR 15 which I just got for Christmas which is a .556 millimeter,"

Oh it's okay, guys. Aside from the .22s, it was just his collection of tabletop miniatures.

skinink

Smartest (2) Funniest (3)

2017-10-21 5:15:45 PM

That's what the Champagne Room is for, buddy.

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo

Smartest (13) Funniest (1)

2017-10-21 5:18:22 PM

Don't let strippers ~~in your house~~ know where you live.

Tax Boy

Smartest (0) Funniest (33)

2017-10-21 5:19:04 PM

Danger Avoid Death

Smartest (24) Funniest (5)

2017-10-21 5:19:59 PM

Swaggerty said last winter a woman he knew in passing showed up at his front door on Kokomo's north side, shivering without a coat, and asking if he still had a spare bedroom.

Over his wife's objections, Swaggerty let the woman move in.

So, wait ... There were 16 guns in the house and the wife didn't shoot him with one of them when he let a stripper move in? She sounds like a keeper.

Resin33

Smartest (7) Funniest (0)

2017-10-21 5:21:42 PM

Another responsible gun owner.

Kouta

Smartest (2) Funniest (0)

2017-10-21 5:22:00 PM

AquaTatanka: Kouta: Fox 59? So, what part of central Indiana made Fark with a headline involving strippers?

*reads TFA*

Kokomo?

My first guess was that some rich asshole from Carmel did something stupid enough to make the news.

Was a guy shot and killed in a South Side Kroger today

Yup.

texanjeff

Smartest (11) Funniest (1)

2017-10-21 5:22:24 PM

"I probably had 3 22's"

Another very Responsible gun owner.

It's no like I don't know how many cars I have or votes I get.

Russ1642

Smartest (1) Funniest (13)

2017-10-21 5:24:57 PM

If someone can just take the safe and everything in it then it should be called a dangerous.

Danger Avoid Death

Smartest (0) Funniest (49)

2017-10-21 5:25:08 PM

GlamrLama

Smartest (5) Funniest (3)

2017-10-21 5:26:53 PM

Ahhhh. The deadly .7mm and .5 mm gun. Where can I get these WMDs?
/Or a good editor?

SomeAmerican

Smartest (13) Funniest (0)

2017-10-21 5:27:09 PM

Let's revise this...

Don't brag about how valuable your possessions are to strangers.

talkertopc

Smartest (13) Funniest (1)

2017-10-21 5:27:54 PM

He knew her in passing and she's a stripper, I wonder where he met her?
FTA: We didn't know that she was a stripper.

I think he meant that his wife did not know she was a stripper.

In any case, don't let someone you barely know move into your house, not matter what their job is.

Madman drummers bummers

Smartest (0) Funniest (5)

2017-10-21 5:28:27 PM

But I really need my wood furniture refinished and I don't want to move it...

SMOIT!

Smartest (6) Funniest (1)

2017-10-21 5:28:50 PM

texanjeff: "I probably had 3 22's"

Another very Responsible gun owner.

It's no like I don't know how many cars I have or votes I get.

Okay. How many shovels do you have in your shed? Or if thats not your style. How many thumb drives do you have in your desk? Spatulas? Quick. Give me a number.

swamp_of_dumb

Smartest (1) Funniest (2)

2017-10-21 5:29:15 PM

Of course you don't let strippers in the house, subby. You keep them chained in the basement.

Or is that hookers?

Madman drummers bummers

Smartest (17) Funniest (2)

2017-10-21 5:29:28 PM

"Swaggerty considers himself a responsible legal gun owner..."

And he is the only one who does.

genner

Smartest (0) Funniest (8)

2017-10-21 5:34:51 PM

swamp_of_dumb: Of course you don't let strippers in the house, subby. You keep them chained in the basement.

Or is that hookers?

nijika

Smartest (1) Funniest (1)

2017-10-21 5:35:39 PM

And of course his place is a hellhole so he needs a dozen firearms to defend it.

mephisto6

Smartest (1) Funniest (5)

2017-10-21 5:35:43 PM

Tom_Slick: Alternatively bolt your gun safe to the floor.

That's what the dude said. Basically, "I farked up. Bolt your gun safe to the floor and the wall."
Also, "a woman he knew in passing showed up at his front door on Kokomo's north side, shivering without a coat, and asking if he still had a spare bedroom."

'In passing'.. yeah right :)

SMOIT!

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-10-21 5:36:59 PM

Madman drummers bummers: "Swaggerty considers himself a responsible legal gun owner..."

And he is the only one who does.

Inside a locked safe and behind a locked door.

FrancoFile

Smartest (10) Funniest (4)

2017-10-21 5:38:51 PM

SMOIT!: texanjeff: "I probably had 3 22's"

Another very Responsible gun owner.

It's no like I don't know how many cars I have or votes I get.

Okay. How many shovels do you have in your shed? Or if thats not your style. How many thumb drives do you have in your desk? Spatulas? Quick. Give me a number.

2 shovels
5 thumb drives total - 2 at work, 3 at home.
2 metal spatulas, 1 plastic.

phishrace

Smartest (0) Funniest (10)

2017-10-21 5:40:03 PM

Stripers belong on the grill, not in the house.

groppet

Smartest (1) Funniest (0)

2017-10-21 5:41:07 PM

Sounds like when my roommate wanted to let one of her dirtball friend crash here. You could tell when he had been over from the smell, put a ban on him when I bought the new place. By then she did realize he was a scheming dirtball.

SMOIT!

Smartest (1) Funniest (0)

2017-10-21 5:42:13 PM

FrancoFile: SMOIT!: texanjeff: "I probably had 3 22's"

Another very Responsible gun owner.

It's no like I don't know how many cars I have or votes I get.

Okay. How many shovels do you have in your shed? Or if thats not your style. How many thumb drives do you have in your desk? Spatulas? Quick. Give me a number.

2 shovels
5 thumb drives total - 2 at work, 3 at home.
2 metal spatulas, 1 plastic.

What about your bbq set? Sure you didn't forget one?

Kouta

Smartest (5) Funniest (0)

2017-10-21 5:42:18 PM

swamp_of_dumb: Of course you don't let strippers in the house, subby. You keep them chained in the basement.

Or is that hookers?

I've let a complete stranger into my home ... once. She'd been drugged, raped, and was dumped on my doorstep while wearing only a shirt and pair of shoes.

Danger Avoid Death

Smartest (0) Funniest (22)

2017-10-21 5:44:16 PM

SMOIT!: texanjeff: "I probably had 3 22's"

Another very Responsible gun owner.

It's no like I don't know how many cars I have or votes I get.

Okay. How many shovels do you have in your shed? Or if thats not your style. How many thumb drives do you have in your desk? Spatulas? Quick. Give me a number.

That's just opening a whole other can of worms.

FrancoFile

Smartest (1) Funniest (0)

2017-10-21 5:48:29 PM

SMOIT!: FrancoFile: SMOIT!: texanjeff: "I probably had 3 22's"

Another very Responsible gun owner.

It's no like I don't know how many cars I have or votes I get.

Okay. How many shovels do you have in your shed? Or if thats not your style. How many thumb drives do you have in your desk? Spatulas? Quick. Give me a number.

2 shovels
5 thumb drives total - 2 at work, 3 at home.
2 metal spatulas, 1 plastic.

What about your bbq set? Sure you didn't forget one?

Nope. BBQ utensils stay in the house, in the same spatula-and-spoon thing as everything else.

FrancoFile

Smartest (1) Funniest (6)

2017-10-21 5:50:20 PM

FrancoFile: SMOIT!: FrancoFile: SMOIT!: texanjeff: "I probably had 3 22's"

Another very Responsible gun owner.

It's no like I don't know how many cars I have or votes I get.

Okay. How many shovels do you have in your shed? Or if thats not your style. How many thumb drives do you have in your desk? Spatulas? Quick. Give me a number.

2 shovels
5 thumb drives total - 2 at work, 3 at home.
2 metal spatulas, 1 plastic.

What about your bbq set? Sure you didn't forget one?

Nope. BBQ utensils stay in the house, in the same spatula-and-spoon thing as everything else.

I also have 6 hotpads - 4 square, 2 oval - and 1 deep oven mitt. Do you want to know more? Wooden spoons? Whisks? Shoes and belts? Martini glasses?

Vodka Zombie

Smartest (3) Funniest (14)

2017-10-21 5:51:19 PM

Anything can be a spatula if you're brave enough.

Dragonflew

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-10-21 5:51:30 PM

Why the fark does someone need 16 guns? Who is he, Durga's brother?

abhorrent1

Smartest (7) Funniest (1)

2017-10-21 5:54:23 PM

Someone stole his legally owned and properly stored guns? Surely stricter gun laws would have prevented this. When these now illegally obtained guns are used to commit a crime or kill someone, I'm sure the fark gun grabbers will tell us how gun control would have prevented this.

GardenWeasel

Smartest (3) Funniest (0)

2017-10-21 5:54:46 PM

Swaggerty said last winter a woman he knew in passing showed up at his front door on Kokomo's north side, shivering without a coat, and asking if he still had a spare bedroom. Over his wife's objections, Swaggerty let the woman move in. "And I put her in the bedroom with the safes and it came back and bit me," he said. "The fact is she was a stripper is what we found out. We didn't know that she was a stripper."

Your WIFE maybe didn't know she was a stripper, but you damn well had spent plenty of time at Hiphugger.

Moron.

Danger Avoid Death

Smartest (12) Funniest (0)

2017-10-21 5:56:31 PM

abhorrent1: Someone stole his legally owned and properly stored guns? Surely stricter gun laws would have prevented this. When these now illegally obtained guns are used to commit a crime or kill someone, I'm sure the fark gun grabbers will tell us how gun control would have prevented this.

Harry_Seldon

Smartest (1) Funniest (0)

2017-10-21 5:56:44 PM

Vodka Zombie: SMOIT!: FrancoFile: SMOIT!: texanjeff: "I probably had 3 22's"

Another very Responsible gun owner.

It's no like I don't know how many cars I have or votes I get.

Okay. How many shovels do you have in your shed? Or if thats not your style. How many thumb drives do you have in your desk? Spatulas? Quick. Give me a number.

2 shovels
5 thumb drives total - 2 at work, 3 at home.
2 metal spatulas, 1 plastic.

What about your bbq set? Sure you didn't forget one?

Anything can be a spatula if you're brave enough.

Danger Avoid Death: How many thumb drives do you have in your desk?

> 100

ValisIV

Smartest (1) Funniest (0)

2017-10-21 5:59:44 PM

GardenWeasel: Swaggerty said last winter a woman he knew in passing showed up at his front door on Kokomo's north side, shivering without a coat, and asking if he still had a spare bedroom. Over his wife's objections, Swaggerty let the woman move in. "And I put her in the bedroom with the safes and it came back and bit me," he said. "The fact is she was a stripper is what we found out. We didn't know that she was a stripper."

Your WIFE maybe didn't know she was a stripper, but you damn well had spent plenty of time at Hiphugger.

Moron.

Yeah, the stripper knew where he lived and that he had a spare bedroom, and he allowed her to stay against the objections of his wife. This wasn't some passing acquaintance.

Catlenfell

Smartest (3) Funniest (0)

2017-10-21 5:59:52 PM

You failed at decimal points.
I have an SKS and it's 7.62mm.

yomrd

Smartest (0) Funniest (13)

2017-10-21 6:00:57 PM

2 shovels, 1 thumb drive, 3 spatulas, 4 strippers.

Bslim

Smartest (1) Funniest (0)

2017-10-21 6:01:30 PM

fusillade762: Over his wife's objections, Swaggerty let the woman move in.

[img.fark.net image 500x283]

I had probably three .22 rifles

If you have so many guns you can't remember how many it may be time to cut back on your collection.

Another "responsible gun owner."

AngryDragon

Smartest (5) Funniest (0)

2017-10-21 6:08:20 PM

I see victim blaming is fashionable again.

I'll keep that in mind.

IoSaturnalia

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-10-21 6:09:27 PM

Bslim: fusillade762: Over his wife's objections, Swaggerty let the woman move in.

[img.fark.net image 500x283]

I had probably three .22 rifles

If you have so many guns you can't remember how many it may be time to cut back on your collection.

Another "responsible gun owner."

Who? The farker who named himself after a hail of Russian bullets or the moran from TFA?

EyeHaveRisen

Smartest (1) Funniest (4)

2017-10-21 6:10:15 PM

"Swaggerty said last winter a woman he knew in passing showed up at his front door "

Ya, That's the ticket!! I a....knew her in passing....

/his wife's IQ must be even lower than his eh?

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