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(Peoria Journal Star)   Man discovers his trombone has been violated by unknown interloper   (pjstar.com) divider line
    More: Strange, trombone, Brass instrument, Trumpet, Sam, Lung cancer, Oxygen, Journal Star columnist, Pneumothorax  
•       •       •

4937 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Aug 2017 at 8:50 AM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Copy Link



50 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
doglover  
Smartest (17)   Funniest (0)  
2017-08-16 7:51:31 AM  
why would someone slip into his apartment and manhandle nothing but his trombone?

It was his neighbors.
 
2017-08-16 7:51:43 AM  
Was it a rusty trombone?  Maybe the guy was just trying to polish it.
 
sno man [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2017-08-16 8:03:08 AM  

Ambivalence: Was it a rusty trombone?  Maybe the guy was just trying to polish it.


If it wasn't rusty before, it's rusty now.
 
sno man [TotalFark]  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (9)  
2017-08-16 8:08:11 AM  
Seriously though, Sam, you suck at tromboning and you suck at it loudly, this is not complicated, your neighbour was doing everyone in the building a favour. Take the hint.
 
2017-08-16 8:24:13 AM  
UFIT?
 
koder [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (4)  
2017-08-16 8:39:32 AM  
He tried to play his own sad trombone sound effect, but all that came out were gurgles.
 
offacue [TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (3)  
2017-08-16 8:51:49 AM  

sno man: Seriously though, Sam, you suck at tromboning and you suck at it loudly, this is not complicated, your neighbour was doing everyone in the building a favour. Take the hint.


On the other hand, he could take up bagpipes just to fark with them.
 
RJReves  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (3)  
2017-08-16 8:52:18 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2017-08-16 8:55:00 AM  
Sad Trombone - Gaming Sound Effect (HD)
Youtube CQeezCdF4mk
 
2017-08-16 8:55:47 AM  
media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2017-08-16 8:56:16 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2017-08-16 8:59:59 AM  
Either the girlfriend did it or a neighbor did it.
 
LordJiro [OhFark]  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (0)  
2017-08-16 9:00:25 AM  

sno man: Seriously though, Sam, you suck at tromboning and you suck at it loudly, this is not complicated, your neighbour was doing everyone in the building a favour. Take the hint.


Hell, he could've been the best farking trombonist on the planet, but people don't really wanna hear that shiat at all hours of the night.
 
2017-08-16 9:01:40 AM  
Was it this one?
animalspot.netView Full Size
 
2017-08-16 9:07:16 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Ker_Thwap [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (0)  
2017-08-16 9:08:10 AM  
I was an All State trombonist back in the day.  I've considered taking it back up, and playing some jazz... now that I'm living in a cabin in the woods.  I would not have even considered it when I was living in an apartment.  No one wants to hear that crap, no matter how good you are.
 
skinink [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (4)  
2017-08-16 9:09:02 AM  
Now he owns a traumabone.
 
OOF  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (3)  
2017-08-16 9:11:14 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2017-08-16 9:13:26 AM  
Twas a neighbour who violated his bone.
The term for practicing a brass musical instrument is 'wood-shedding' - as in honking the damn thing at a secluded stop away from the earshot of other lifeforms.

Bagpipes should be practiced in abandoned mines/underground fallout shelters.

/plays trombone
//in band settings only
///but never with bagpipes
 
Petite Mel  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2017-08-16 9:14:04 AM  
FTFA: Maybe an interloper crept in while the maintenance crew was fixing up the place.

We may never know who could have had access to the apt.

/writer trying WAY too hard to be funny.
 
probesport  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (8)  
2017-08-16 9:15:53 AM  
deepfriedbits.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
cgraves67  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-08-16 9:19:10 AM  

Petite Mel: FTFA: Maybe an interloper crept in while the maintenance crew was fixing up the place.

We may never know who could have had access to the apt.

/writer trying WAY too hard to be funny.


That's Phil Luciano for you. He's Peoria's version of Will Greenlee.
 
2017-08-16 9:20:59 AM  
'Great house party last night! Did you notice the host's gold toilet?'

'No - but he phoned this morning asking if we knew who shat in his tuba.'
 
tukatz  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-08-16 9:21:39 AM  
When I read that they checked for fingerprints, I figured that he's a goof ball.  No one dusts for prints anymore... unless it's to appease old people or nutcases so they'll stop complaining.
 
2017-08-16 9:22:16 AM  

doglover: why would someone slip into his apartment and manhandle nothing but his trombone?

It was his neighbors.


Sounds like who ever did it went out of their way to only damage a replaceable component and not destroy the whole thing. The guy shouldn't push his luck.

I would have gone with this, but I'm not that nice:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (7)  
2017-08-16 9:29:07 AM  
Nope. Not even touching this one.
 
LewDux [OhFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (2)  
2017-08-16 9:37:07 AM  

probesport: [deepfriedbits.files.wordpress.com image 400x300]


Kokolo - Soul Power
Youtube YpZXc1uwz98
 
hobnail  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (4)  
2017-08-16 9:46:09 AM  
"Didn't you hear us pounding on the ceiling at 3 am?"
"No, but it's ok. I was up myself, practicing the trombone."
 
devine  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-08-16 9:49:17 AM  

oldfarthenry: 'Great house party last night! Did you notice the host's gold toilet?'

'No - but he phoned this morning asking if we knew who shat in his tuba.'


This is what I was gonna post.
 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark]  
Smartest (7)   Funniest (0)  
2017-08-16 9:56:23 AM  
Ahhh screw it... I'll bite.

Get one of these. They make them for all brass instruments. Near total blocking of the sound and gives you an easy pickup if you want to put your sound through a pedal or other inline effects tech. Trombone is fun with reverb and distortion.

imagizer.imageshack.usView Full Size


/silent brass FTW
 
2017-08-16 9:59:49 AM  

doglover: why would someone slip into his apartment and manhandle nothing but his trombone?

It was his neighbors.


100% Bingo
 
nytmare  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2017-08-16 10:07:24 AM  
Ronco de moto com trombone ! Kkk
Youtube P2fXTf2hcoA
 
brap [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-08-16 10:08:39 AM  
RIPPED FROM TODAY'S HEADLINES:  Trombone Violator On The Loose Police On The Lookout For Mute Plunger.
 
MBooda  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2017-08-16 10:13:51 AM  
"THEY went to a conservatory!"
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
mama2tnt  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2017-08-16 10:14:37 AM  
"Anything's a trombone...if you're brave enough."
 
Rock Krenn  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2017-08-16 10:18:31 AM  
Maybe they thought he was considering taking up the bagpipes and this was just sending a message.
 
2017-08-16 10:21:10 AM  

offacue: sno man: Seriously though, Sam, you suck at tromboning and you suck at it loudly, this is not complicated, your neighbour was doing everyone in the building a favour. Take the hint.

On the other hand, he could take up bagpipes just to fark with them.


Boy takes down hate preacher in the most Scottish way possible
Youtube JwLaDzKFiBY
 
offacue [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-08-16 10:22:40 AM  
Can't post youtube here from work but look but look up Bomerama.  Nothing wrong with trombones.  Also look up Mark Mullins sitting in with The Radiators.  Good stuff.
 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-08-16 10:23:58 AM  

AquaTatanka: Tr0mBoNe: Ahhh screw it... I'll bite.

Get one of these. They make them for all brass instruments. Near total blocking of the sound and gives you an easy pickup if you want to put your sound through a pedal or other inline effects tech. Trombone is fun with reverb and distortion.

[imagizer.imageshack.us image 399x480]

/silent brass FTW

The only thing i've ever bought on ebay was my Silent Brass.

It is the only way i could play in my dorm/apartments.  Havent used it since i bought a house.


Same for me. I like to break it out every now and again to record myself, though. It's not perfect, but it works for practicing with someone over skype when your mic is broken on your laptop.
 
Brockalisk  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-08-16 10:56:06 AM  
Will using Silent Brass still vibrate the mucus in his lungs, which is the purpose of his playing?
 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-08-16 11:20:03 AM  

Brockalisk: Will using Silent Brass still vibrate the mucus in his lungs, which is the purpose of his playing?


Yes. It's the full meal deal with all the expected back pressure and vibration.
 
2017-08-16 11:41:02 AM  
Whhhaaaahhh Whaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh

/Violated Trombone is my Latin Jazz/Reggae Fusion Band name...
 
oldsbone  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-08-16 12:03:41 PM  
My guess is that a maintenance man saw it and couldn't resist screwing around with it when he was alone.  It's the same behavior that my middle school band students exhibit, and, let's face it, when confronted with any kind of temptation, we're all just 12 year olds at heart.
 
2017-08-16 2:37:20 PM  
Not a trombone, but...

Flanders and Swann - Ill Wind - Mozart Horn Concerto
Youtube WHWnFJ4_61U
 
fireclown  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-08-16 2:41:43 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

/obscure?
 
probesport  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-08-16 3:03:16 PM  

fireclown: [img.fark.net image 200x238]
/obscure?


Yes, you will never find anyone who reads comics on Fark.
 
yms  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-08-16 3:04:50 PM  
Don Drummond and Carol McLaughlin - Just Cool (All Stars/Dub Store)
Youtube sMJzVrGtAC4
Don Drummond, about 1:10 in, one of the baddest trombonists. Too bad he murdered his girlfriend and died not long after in a Jamaican asylum. Maybe it was the sound of the trombone....
 
2017-08-16 4:04:26 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: Get one of these. They make them for all brass instruments. Near total blocking of the sound and gives you an easy pickup if you want to put your sound through a pedal or other inline effects tech. Trombone is fun with reverb and distortion.


There is a harmonica that is designed to be as quiet as possible (and an electronic midi harmonica that lets you play various tunes.)  I tried picking up trumpet.  I played a baritone in school.  The fingerings for the trumpet in the treble and the baritone in the bass clef end up being the same.  I had to stop though.  I have a chipped front tooth.  It never bothers me doing anything else, but the trumpet mouthpiece aggravates it.  (And fillings fall out because it's in an awkward spot).  A trumpet player told me I could get a mouthguard, but I live in an apartment... I suppose if I had one of those and a mouthguard... eh, I play pretty decent blues harp.

There is also a blues harmonica designed for pulmonary therapy.  I think it has some advantages over traditional brass instruments, since it's more portable and you play on both the inhale and the exhale.  Still, I might look into that for trumpet.  It would be nice to have a second instrument in my arsenal.
 
LewDux [OhFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2017-08-16 4:24:43 PM  

Day_Old_Dutchie: Not a trombone, but...

[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/WHWnFJ4_61U - 480x360]


Ghostpoet - Cold Win at Reading Festival 2013
Youtube eUk1cJsjBq8
 
2017-08-16 8:00:19 PM  
i) Love the arts.. now lets see...

ii) from the article: lately he'd been perfecting "What a Friend I Have in Jesus."....

iii) cough cough..
 
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