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(WCPO Cincinnati)   "As you may realize, when a morbidly obese person is cremated, there's a danger of what can only be called (in layman's terms) a 'grease fire'"   (wcpo.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, morbidly obese person, Hillside Chapel Crematory, owner Don Catchen, Cremation, combustible storage boxes, Chief Michael Washington, Martin Luther King, entirely unknown issue  
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10460 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Apr 2017 at 1:20 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Copy Link



171 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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Psychopusher [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (15)  
2017-04-26 12:10:58 PM  
Well, duh.  That's why you never cremate naked.
 
2017-04-26 12:13:01 PM  
America sounds fat.
 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark]  
Smartest (5)   Funniest (1)  
2017-04-26 12:17:05 PM  
That's horrifying.
 
clodcomplex  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (58)  
2017-04-26 12:20:11 PM  
Blaze of glory you mean.
 
Psychopusher [TotalFark]  
Smartest (5)   Funniest (17)  
2017-04-26 12:28:33 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: That's horrifying.


You might even say it was morbid, like his obesity.
 
enry [TotalFark]  
Smartest (4)   Funniest (12)  
2017-04-26 12:39:44 PM  
Farkers will burn forever.
 
2017-04-26 12:42:02 PM  
Sounds like they just didn't put enough fireproof insulation in and are blaming it on the fatties.
 
gameshowhost [OhFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (40)  
2017-04-26 12:45:46 PM  

enry: Farkers will burn forever.


M'secondamendment

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2017-04-26 12:46:27 PM  
One more reason (like anyone needed one) to not be a fat fu*k.
 
2017-04-26 12:55:16 PM  
Go burn fatties somewhere else.
 
Ant  
Smartest (6)   Funniest (65)  
2017-04-26 1:00:13 PM  
This is why you've gotta do it low and slow. 225 F for about 24 hours will render that fat and make the meat fall off the bones.
 
Mugato [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-04-26 1:03:00 PM  
What's the alliterative, squeezing Fatty into a coffin?
 
Mugato [TotalFark]  
Smartest (5)   Funniest (12)  
2017-04-26 1:06:09 PM  

Ant: This is why you've gotta do it low and slow. 225 F for about 24 hours will render that fat and make the meat fall off the bones.


And then you can make soap.

thumbs3.ebaystatic.comView Full Size
 
2017-04-26 1:08:56 PM  
I work part time as a chimney sweep at a crematorium, so I'm really getting a kick...
 
uncleacid [OhFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (4)  
2017-04-26 1:10:30 PM  
Next time throw in some fries.
 
vudukungfu [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (6)  
2017-04-26 1:19:37 PM  
How long do 5,093,485,762,029,000 shamrock shakes burn for?
 
vudukungfu [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (8)  
2017-04-26 1:20:15 PM  

Mugato: What's the alliterative, squeezing Fatty into a coffin? Piano Crate?


Fixed
 
PirateKing [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (7)  
2017-04-26 1:20:39 PM  
Sous vide?
 
OkieDookie  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-04-26 1:21:16 PM  
Charbroiled, just like Burger King.
 
Destructor [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (28)  
2017-04-26 1:23:06 PM  
Revenge from Beyond the Gravy
 
wee  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (2)  
2017-04-26 1:23:38 PM  
Grease fire at any size!
 
2017-04-26 1:23:43 PM  
"Another fire, two years earlier in Austria, left firefighters "covered with a layer of sooty grease."

/puke
 
doctorguilty  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (32)  
2017-04-26 1:25:02 PM  
That's why I'm donating my remains to science.
Young medical students need to see what a lifetime of caffeine abuse and poor diet can do to a person. I may save more lives dead than alive.
 
Salmon  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (8)  
2017-04-26 1:25:19 PM  
Light 'em up and drop them on your enemies!

blog.zingarate.comView Full Size
((Not us CDNs, please.)
 
2017-04-26 1:26:00 PM  
have you considered post mortem liposuction?
 
SoCalChris  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2017-04-26 1:27:44 PM  
I bet the entire neighborhood smelled like bacon.

I wonder how big the guy was? The last one was over 500 pounds if I remember correctly.
 
2017-04-26 1:28:02 PM  

doctorguilty: That's why I'm donating my remains to science.
Young medical students need to see what a lifetime of caffeine abuse and poor diet can do to a person. I may save more lives dead than alive.


I am going to be an organ and tissue donor until I'm literally too old or sick to do so.  Seriously, harvest whatever you want from my remains.  Skin, bone, veins, corneas, hair.  have at it.

If my body is too sick or aged for this purpose I want it to be donated to a body farm to be left to decompose in the woods naturally.  Sadly, the body farm in my state has a waiting list. :(
 
Russ1642  
Smartest (6)   Funniest (0)  
2017-04-26 1:28:48 PM  
How about you figure out what your equipment can handle before you overstuff it with fuel you farking dumbfarks.
 
neongoats  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (9)  
2017-04-26 1:30:13 PM  
I'm telling you, burial at sea!

Wouldn't it be nice to send your family and friends on a nice day cruise, and at the end of it, they heave your body over the side like one of Dexter's victims?
 
2017-04-26 1:31:06 PM  

gameshowhost: enry: Farkers will burn forever.

M'secondamendment

[img.fark.net image 225x199]


Why yes, Shamu, you can make your semi-auto pistol fire like a machine gun by fingerbanging the trigger, but your accuracy will be for shiat.
 
2017-04-26 1:31:16 PM  

Ambivalence: Sadly, the body farm in my state has a waiting list. :(

Is that good or bad? I should consider that myself, actually, thanks.
And yeah, let them scavenge what they can out of my husk first.
 
TWX  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-04-26 1:31:58 PM  

gameshowhost: enry: Farkers will burn forever.

M'secondamendment

[img.fark.net image 225x199]


He looks like a Dick Tracy villain.
 
MBooda  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2017-04-26 1:33:00 PM  
Cremate? Hell, I wouldn't even get close to them with a waffah-thin aftah-dinnah mint.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2017-04-26 1:33:07 PM  
Do it like with beached whales. Blow them up with dynamite.
 
skyotter  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (2)  
2017-04-26 1:33:42 PM  
I've learned to blanche a goose in boiling water before roasting it, for exactly this reason.
 
2017-04-26 1:34:02 PM  
"Another fire, two years earlier in Austria, left firefighters "covered with a layer of sooty grease"

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2017-04-26 1:34:07 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Ed Grubermann [TotalFark]  
Smartest (11)   Funniest (13)  
2017-04-26 1:34:43 PM  

Mugato: What's the alliterative, squeezing Fatty into a coffin?


I think you mean "Cramming Corpulent Corpses Into Coffins".

/Smashing Pumpkins Into Putrid Piles of Debris?
 
RedRudy  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (2)  
2017-04-26 1:35:55 PM  
They seemed to have filled it beyond max capacity.
It should have split it in several smaller loads.
 
jim32rr  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (1)  
2017-04-26 1:36:12 PM  

TWX: gameshowhost: enry: Farkers will burn forever.

M'secondamendment

[img.fark.net image 225x199]

He looks like a Dick Tracy villain.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Priapetic [BareFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-04-26 1:37:09 PM  

Ambivalence: doctorguilty: That's why I'm donating my remains to science.
Young medical students need to see what a lifetime of caffeine abuse and poor diet can do to a person. I may save more lives dead than alive.

I am going to be an organ and tissue donor until I'm literally too old or sick to do so.  Seriously, harvest whatever you want from my remains.  Skin, bone, veins, corneas, hair.  have at it.

If my body is too sick or aged for this purpose I want it to be donated to a body farm to be left to decompose in the woods naturally.  Sadly, the body farm in my state has a waiting list. :(


What the fark is a "body farm"?  Off to the Google machine!

Huh.  Learned something new today.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_farm
 
2017-04-26 1:38:39 PM  
Im going to get morbidly obese before i die, then get thrown in the ocean to create an ecosystem like whale corpses do.
 
Mudd's woman [TotalFark]  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (15)  
2017-04-26 1:40:43 PM  

Ant: This is why you've gotta do it low and slow. 225 F for about 24 hours will render that fat and make the meat fall off the bones.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2017-04-26 1:40:57 PM  
Yup, i sorta figured that one.
 
2017-04-26 1:41:14 PM  
Probably should have quartered that one before roasting it
 
2017-04-26 1:41:57 PM  
So nobody has combed the local obituaries to see who the fatty was yet?

I am disappoint
 
cgraves67  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (10)  
2017-04-26 1:42:23 PM  
A preview of my cremation:
backwoodsweb.comView Full Size
 
2017-04-26 1:42:49 PM  

vudukungfu: Mugato: What's the alliterative, squeezing Fatty into a coffin? Piano Crate?

Fixed


No need to get fancy! A refrigerator box will serve for all but the most 'bese!
 
pounddawg  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2017-04-26 1:43:08 PM  
Gilbert!
 
2017-04-26 1:44:10 PM  

Smackledorfer: Im going to get morbidly obese before i die, then get thrown in the ocean to create an ecosystem like whale corpses do.


A friend of mine told me about a guy who, upon knowing that he would die in under a year, ate $50,000 worth of food in his last 5 months of life.

/Die disgustingly and leave a heavy corpse
 
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