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(The Smoking Gun)   What do you do when you realize you have too many dildos lying around the house?   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line
    More: Strange, Nelson Webb Lentz, Sex toy, Surveillance, Criminal law, Religion, Mischief, Newspaper, Journalism  
•       •       •

9468 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Apr 2017 at 8:20 AM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Copy Link



81 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
Exluddite  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (14)  
2017-04-26 7:40:44 AM  
Say it with dildos.
 
bloobeary [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (10)  
2017-04-26 7:41:40 AM  
Yard Sale!
 
xanadian [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (17)  
2017-04-26 7:57:21 AM  
You can have too many dildos??

*looks around house*

...um........
 
Munden [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (4)  
2017-04-26 7:58:00 AM  
 
2017-04-26 8:04:47 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Chris Ween [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2017-04-26 8:12:26 AM  
I've always wondered. Is 3 enough? Five,  too many?
 
2017-04-26 8:19:37 AM  
Send them to the Bundy Ranch, of course!
 
cgraves67  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2017-04-26 8:21:35 AM  
Make yard art out of them.
 
starsrift  
Smartest (5)   Funniest (4)  
2017-04-26 8:22:15 AM  
Clean them and put them away instead of just leave them lying around, you filthy person.
 
2017-04-26 8:23:23 AM  
I don't understand the question.
 
Texas Gabe  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (10)  
2017-04-26 8:23:39 AM  
FARK Party!!!
 
2017-04-26 8:24:10 AM  
gather them up so you have a bag of dicks?

(required after making that "joke" - NSFW)
Louis CK Suck a Bag of Dicks
Youtube OT7xc_XqYO8
 
2017-04-26 8:24:13 AM  

Chris Ween: I've always wondered. Is 3 enough? Five,  too many?


At once, only if you have a lot of practice.  Overall, dunno.  Some people like variety.
 
fruitloop  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (13)  
2017-04-26 8:25:10 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Build a castle?
 
Abox  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2017-04-26 8:26:14 AM  
build a fort
 
2017-04-26 8:28:56 AM  
You don't need to leave them laying around: you always have extra storage if you are brave enough.

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
Datanerd  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (2)  
2017-04-26 8:29:29 AM  
Molly Ivins said it best: In Texas, having 5 or more is a felony.  Having 4 or less is a hobbyist.
 
2017-04-26 8:29:56 AM  
Yard sale?
 
2017-04-26 8:30:04 AM  
Buy moar dildos!
 
2017-04-26 8:30:36 AM  
Arrange them into a giant panoramic photograph to send to your ex as a reminder that you'd literally rather fark yourself with a bunch of plastic toys than have sex with him.

/ I hope my ex isn't reading this
 
2017-04-26 8:31:47 AM  
You invade a wildlife refuge?
 
2017-04-26 8:32:11 AM  
Make a unique nativity scene?
 
2017-04-26 8:34:30 AM  
The article surprised me.
 
NutWrench [TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (3)  
2017-04-26 8:35:54 AM  
Lentz, pictured above, told cops he "had extra items, so he used them for that purpose."

When you're working on an important project, you can never have too many dildos.
 
2017-04-26 8:38:45 AM  
thedailyquotes.comView Full Size
 
2017-04-26 8:40:10 AM  

Munden: game of thrones styled chair? maybe NSFW?


X-Play - Dungeon Siege: Throne of Agony Review
Youtube lDi7v2JdC64

Did you guys just glue a spiked dildo to a chair?

Uh, "Throne of Agony."
 
Exluddite  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-04-26 8:41:12 AM  

give me doughnuts: Make a unique nativity scene?


You magnificent, sacrilegious bastard. I had to funny that.
 
ChrisDe  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (3)  
2017-04-26 8:43:37 AM  
This thread is dildos.
 
2017-04-26 8:46:38 AM  

ChrisDe: This thread is dildos.

What'd you stop by for, a chicken sandwich and fries?
 
Tchernobog  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2017-04-26 8:48:31 AM  
And here I was, thinking Christopher Lee had died.

I guess once sauron was defeated evil wizardry became less profitable.
 
2017-04-26 8:52:20 AM  
Yeah, but in fairness we elect them, so...
 
moofburger  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (5)  
2017-04-26 8:52:36 AM  

That Guy What Stole the Bacon: Send them to the Bundy Ranch, of course!


*Ding Ding Ding*

Top Answer.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
eyeq360 [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (6)  
2017-04-26 8:52:40 AM  
The Dildo Song
Youtube r248DPAlavQ
 
2017-04-26 8:58:09 AM  
He should have donated them to the local convent.
 
2017-04-26 9:00:14 AM  
14 Inches of hard plastic pleasure for everyone
 
2017-04-26 9:01:27 AM  
Send them out across the world as representatives of your administration, while tweeting what wonderful kids they are?
 
Loaf's Tray  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (11)  
2017-04-26 9:01:31 AM  
Cry 'Havoc!', and let slip the dongs of war...
 
Ker_Thwap [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (2)  
2017-04-26 9:03:03 AM  
I want to know more about what his bad experience was that prompted this.   I guess I'll have to wait for the movie.
 
debug  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2017-04-26 9:04:06 AM  
Criminal trespass?  Was the store closed at the time he planted the dildi?
 
2017-04-26 9:05:26 AM  

Ker_Thwap: I want to know more about what his bad experience was that prompted this.   I guess I'll have to wait for the movie.


He was looking for God in a paperback but all they had were hardcover
 
2017-04-26 9:09:07 AM  
No one was hurt.
<I'mokwiththis.jpg>
Also, why is the writer of the article obsessed with capitalizing the word "Dildo(s)"???
 
eyeq360 [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (5)  
2017-04-26 9:10:52 AM  
Make a diorama of Love Valley in Cappadocia.
4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
2017-04-26 9:11:38 AM  

swankywanky: gather them up so you have a bag of dicks?

(required after making that "joke" - NSFW)[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/OT7xc_XqYO8 - 480x360]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2017-04-26 9:12:15 AM  
Also,

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2017-04-26 9:15:25 AM  
If you are some farkettes, you jump for joy as you push a dozen cats out of the way to snatch them up.
 
2017-04-26 9:20:08 AM  

Chris Ween: I've always wondered. Is 3 enough? Five,  too many?


One's not enough, and three are too many.

It's like martinis, or nipples.
 
Nogrhi [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (5)  
2017-04-26 9:24:08 AM  

unfarkingbelievable: If you are some farkettes, you jump for joy as you push a dozen cats out of the way to snatch them up.


That seems unfair.  They might use their hands to pick them up.
 
2017-04-26 9:29:04 AM  

swankywanky: gather them up so you have a bag of dicks?

(required after making that "joke" - NSFW)[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/OT7xc_XqYO8 - 480x360]


Funny, I just watched that last night.
 
Aaron469  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-04-26 9:33:45 AM  
Too many dildos? I'm not sure what that means.
 
Erma Gerdd  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2017-04-26 9:33:53 AM  

Chris Ween: I've always wondered. Is 3 enough? Five,  too many?


Isn't that the same formula for stewed prunes?

/Fletch reference ftw
 
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