FARK.com: (9565843) While it's not technically illegal to have a sex dungeon in your attic across the street from a school, police really don't like to find teenagers in it

It's Not News, It's Fark

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

		While it's not technically illegal to have a sex dungeon in your attic across the street from a school, police really don't like to find teenagers in it (startribune.com)		91
		More: Sick, Sexual intercourse, Michael Germain, Human sexual behavior, criminal sexual conduct, Human sexuality, Marriage, Heather Laverne Germain, Michael Lowell Germain

• • •

6993 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Apr 2017 at 3:10 PM (7 years ago) | Favorite | share: Copy Link

91 Comments (+0 »)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

Somacandra

Smartest (0) Funniest (18)

2017-04-25 2:14:45 PM

SEX DUNGEON?

I thought they closed that place down!

vudukungfu

Smartest (3) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 2:16:31 PM

law enforcement searched the upper level of the garage and found various sex devices and an 8-foot-tall wooden structure in the shape of an X that "could easily be used to anchor or tie a person."

...and they didn't find Google and determine that it was a St Andrews Cross.
So it will be described as anything but a restraint device for consenting adults.
If only they could confiscate ALL the crosses. Not just the one that they find offensive.

As for the kid. Bad on them. Next time, use Alt dot com.

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat

Smartest (30) Funniest (6)

2017-04-25 2:23:38 PM

It's not really a sex dungeon if it's in an attic, is it?

Somacandra

Smartest (1) Funniest (7)

2017-04-25 2:27:49 PM

vudukungfu: ...and they didn't find Google and determine that it was a St Andrews Cross.
So it will be described as anything but a restraint device for consenting adults.

Perhaps they were trying to recreate the torture chamber from under Kakariko Village?

Somacandra

Smartest (2) Funniest (2)

2017-04-25 2:28:23 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: It's not really a sex dungeon if it's in an attic, is it?

Anything is a dungeon if you're brave enough.

Or so I'm told.

wejash

Smartest (0) Funniest (2)

2017-04-25 2:44:41 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: It's not really a sex dungeon if it's in an attic, is it?

I'm surprised the Decorator Inquisition has not shown up yet.

No one expect the Decorator Inquisition...but they're FABULOUS!

ZAZ

Smartest (0) Funniest (3)

2017-04-25 3:05:57 PM

One of my early greenlights was about some guy having an orgy across the street from a school. It wasn't technically illegal, but parents really didn't like it.

Sin_City_Superhero

Smartest (3) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:10:11 PM

I feel like a "dungeon" should be in the basement, not the attic.

toejam

Smartest (0) Funniest (4)

2017-04-25 3:13:21 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: It's not really a sex dungeon if it's in an attic, is it?

"Sex attic" doesn't really have the same ring to it.

Now a sex laundry room is hot.

Random Anonymous Blackmail

Smartest (1) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:13:45 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat

It's not really a sex dungeon if it's in an attic, is it?

My question exactly. Possible they used that phrasing so when interviewed they would not be talking about the sex addict attic

UncleDirtNap

Smartest (1) Funniest (10)

2017-04-25 3:15:00 PM

The Sex Attic sounds like a place to buy used bondage equipment.

cgraves67

Smartest (2) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:15:12 PM

toejam: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: It's not really a sex dungeon if it's in an attic, is it?

"Sex attic" doesn't really have the same ring to it.

Now a sex laundry room is hot.

BDSM Tower could work.

Danger Avoid Death

Smartest (0) Funniest (1)

2017-04-25 3:16:10 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: It's not really a sex dungeon if it's in an attic, is it?

Sin_City_Superhero: I feel like a "dungeon" should be in the basement, not the attic.

You two should share a sex dungeon. I'm getting a strange mental image based on your Fark handles that is making me giggle uncontrollably.

MaudlinMutantMollusk

Smartest (3) Funniest (7)

2017-04-25 3:17:11 PM

TheAlgebraist

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:17:40 PM

Well have you tried just not looking up there, officer?

Astorix

Smartest (4) Funniest (2)

2017-04-25 3:18:25 PM

How did they ever find anybody to have sex with them? I guess people who would get drunk enough to have sex with a knothole in a tree? I mean LOOK at this scary pair.

Not even with 24 beer goggles would I go NEAR this pair.

Danger Avoid Death

Smartest (5) Funniest (2)

2017-04-25 3:18:35 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: [lh3.googleusercontent.com image 450x243]

I don't know what that's from, but I can't stop watching it.

dailygrinds

Smartest (0) Funniest (1)

2017-04-25 3:18:54 PM

Wanted for questioning -

Cheron

Smartest (2) Funniest (2)

2017-04-25 3:19:01 PM

ZAZ: One of my early greenlights was about some guy having an orgy across the street from a school. It wasn't technically illegal, but parents really didn't like it.

Whether a loud party or an orgy it is always important to invite the neighbors so the don't complain about the sound.

DannyBrandt

Smartest (1) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:19:07 PM

ZAZ: One of my early greenlights was about some guy having an orgy across the street from a school. It wasn't technically illegal, but parents really didn't like it.

Huh. Okay.

Duly noted.

Astorix

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:19:21 PM

cgraves67: toejam: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: It's not really a sex dungeon if it's in an attic, is it?

"Sex attic" doesn't really have the same ring to it.

Now a sex laundry room is hot.

BDSM Tower could work.

the dryer is a natural vibrator.

This text is now purple

Smartest (1) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:21:00 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: It's not really a sex dungeon if it's in an attic, is it?

The term isn't specific to a particular floor.

algrant33

Smartest (0) Funniest (15)

2017-04-25 3:23:03 PM

tjsands1118

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:23:42 PM

toejam: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: It's not really a sex dungeon if it's in an attic, is it?

"Sex attic" doesn't really have the same ring to it.

Now a sex laundry room is hot.

I perfer the term "rape room" for this usage or "upstairs hang-up" for a more legal s&m setup in the attic.

MaudlinMutantMollusk

Smartest (2) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:24:34 PM

Danger Avoid Death: MaudlinMutantMollusk: [lh3.googleusercontent.com image 450x243]

I don't know what that's from, but I can't stop watching it.

The GIS was for Reefer Madness, but as many times as I've seen the movie, I don't recall that particular scene

/and it certainly seems like I would
//It is rather mesmerizing, isn't it?

argylez

Smartest (4) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:25:43 PM

Swinging and BDSM are very different things

ski9600

Smartest (0) Funniest (4)

2017-04-25 3:26:18 PM

ZAZ: One of my early greenlights was about some guy having an orgy across the street from a school. It wasn't technically illegal, but parents really didn't like it.

That is not germain to this conversation.

Danger Avoid Death

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:27:42 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Danger Avoid Death: MaudlinMutantMollusk: [lh3.googleusercontent.com image 450x243]

I don't know what that's from, but I can't stop watching it.

The GIS was for Reefer Madness, but as many times as I've seen the movie, I don't recall that particular scene

/and it certainly seems like I would
//It is rather mesmerizing, isn't it?

I rewatched that movie a couple of years ago for shiats a giggles and I don't rememer that scene, either.

Eli WhiskeyDik

Smartest (0) Funniest (1)

2017-04-25 3:29:18 PM

ZeroPly

Smartest (1) Funniest (9)

2017-04-25 3:31:19 PM

CSB: I'm not a really intuitive person, and I don't "read" people well. That said, a number of years ago I was in a Home Depot, waiting to get some 2x4's cut to size, and a guy close by was asking one of the employees about how to join two 6x4's at a very specific angle, I think it was 52 degrees.

The employee was trying to get a feel for what the guy was building but having no luck. While I was just standing there listening to this whole thing, the 52 degrees and 6x4's clicked in my head, and I just blurted out of nowhere - and without thinking - "Are you trying to build a St. Andrew's cross?!"

The guy's face went red and his jaw dropped, so I knew I'd just hit a bulls-eye. The employee had no idea what we were talking about. Quickly walked away since that's one discussion I didn't want to have with some strange dude in the middle of Home Depot.

Subtonic

Smartest (4) Funniest (15)

2017-04-25 3:35:50 PM

ZeroPly: CSB: I'm not a really intuitive person, and I don't "read" people well. That said, a number of years ago I was in a Home Depot, waiting to get some 2x4's cut to size, and a guy close by was asking one of the employees about how to join two 6x4's at a very specific angle, I think it was 52 degrees.

The employee was trying to get a feel for what the guy was building but having no luck. While I was just standing there listening to this whole thing, the 52 degrees and 6x4's clicked in my head, and I just blurted out of nowhere - and without thinking - "Are you trying to build a St. Andrew's cross?!"

The guy's face went red and his jaw dropped, so I knew I'd just hit a bulls-eye. The employee had no idea what we were talking about. Quickly walked away since that's one discussion I didn't want to have with some strange dude in the middle of Home Depot.

I would have invited you to the gang bang if you would have helped me with construction.

moothemagiccow

Smartest (1) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:38:12 PM

jfc people the girl with the dragon tattoo was not a how-to guide

Exception Collection

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:38:39 PM

argylez: Swinging and BDSM are very different things

True but sometimes a kinky couple are also swingers, or have some form of open relationship.

brap

Smartest (2) Funniest (3)

2017-04-25 3:40:08 PM

Not to quibble but it's more of a sex garret or flagellation mansard really.

That said, I still champion the use of "assless chaps." Even if it's a redundancy it suggests the buttockular delights found beneath said garment.

OtherLittleGuy

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:40:48 PM

Danger Avoid Death: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Danger Avoid Death: MaudlinMutantMollusk: [lh3.googleusercontent.com image 450x243]

I don't know what that's from, but I can't stop watching it.

The GIS was for Reefer Madness, but as many times as I've seen the movie, I don't recall that particular scene

/and it certainly seems like I would
//It is rather mesmerizing, isn't it?

I rewatched that movie a couple of years ago for shiats a giggles and I don't rememer that scene, either.

A new "Shut Up, Pierre"?

justanotherfarkinfarker

Smartest (0) Funniest (1)

2017-04-25 3:42:14 PM

That was two men right?

Danger Avoid Death

Smartest (0) Funniest (3)

2017-04-25 3:42:24 PM

OtherLittleGuy: Danger Avoid Death: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Danger Avoid Death: MaudlinMutantMollusk: [lh3.googleusercontent.com image 450x243]

I don't know what that's from, but I can't stop watching it.

The GIS was for Reefer Madness, but as many times as I've seen the movie, I don't recall that particular scene

/and it certainly seems like I would
//It is rather mesmerizing, isn't it?

I rewatched that movie a couple of years ago for shiats a giggles and I don't rememer that scene, either.

A new "Shut Up, Pierre"?

HAHAHAHA! Pierre should be so lucky!

litespeed74

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:42:30 PM

Why does it always have to be a dungeon? Just move it to a different, less dark room in the house? maybe Sex Study.

bikerbob59

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:42:43 PM

A dungeon in an attic. Interesting.

brap

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:44:58 PM

If nothing else this story provided us with another verse for "Kookie's Mad Pad."

Edd "Kookie" Byrnes - Mad Pad.wmv

ShowStop

Smartest (0) Funniest (1)

2017-04-25 3:45:29 PM

ski9600: ZAZ: One of my early greenlights was about some guy having an orgy across the street from a school. It wasn't technically illegal, but parents really didn't like it.

That is not germain to this conversation.

The Goddamn Germans got nothing to do with it!

justanotherfarkinfarker

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:46:58 PM

brap: "assless chaps."

Doesn't that just refer to not wearing pants under the chaps, thus not redundant. All I know is I had sex with a girl who wore chaps one time. I have no idea why people find that hot. But I don't think I'm in the right demographic for it. Also horse girls are sometimes or most of the time an odd bunch.

Do you know the way to Mordor

Smartest (1) Funniest (5)

2017-04-25 3:49:33 PM

A sex dungeon- in the ATTIC?

That would only be possible in a house like this...

eyeq360

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 3:50:23 PM

brap: Not to quibble but it's more of a sex garret

Is this one of the secret rooms at the Eastland School for Young Women? Certainly brings new meaning to The Facts of Life.

guestguy

Smartest (0) Funniest (8)

2017-04-25 4:02:33 PM

nartreb

Smartest (5) Funniest (1)

2017-04-25 4:04:14 PM

Today's fun fact: A "dungeon" originally meant the tallest tower in a castle. (Via French, from badly mangled Latin roots referring to the "lord's big tower"). As the best-guarded part of the castle, it was the ideal place to stick somebody if you wanted to be sure they couldn't get out. But early in the Hundred Years' War, the Godons (English) got tired of having a bunch of waiting-to-be-ransomed Frogs comfortably installed in the penthouse, and realized they'd get the cash faster by moving Rapunzel to a dark cell underground. The "dungeon" was still the same tower, but "lock him up in the dungeon" now meant the tower's cellar. After that, well, it's a place that usually had no windows, and *very* thick walls - ideal for not having to hear somebody scream.

The All-Powerful Atheismo

Smartest (3) Funniest (0)

2017-04-25 4:05:14 PM

On Jan. 4, law enforcement searched the upper level of the garage and found various sex devices and an 8-foot-tall wooden structure in the shape of an X that "could easily be used to anchor or tie a person."

Well it ain't being used for crucifixions.

Also, that's not farking illegal, unless it was indeed done to a 15 year old or against someone's will. The nature of the sex act SHOULD be immaterial; rape is rape. But bdsm is all scary and stuff and they're freaks because of bdsm apparently.

The All-Powerful Atheismo

Smartest (2) Funniest (2)

2017-04-25 4:06:17 PM

nartreb: the Godons (English)

you made that shiat up

Oak

Smartest (0) Funniest (2)

2017-04-25 4:06:33 PM

litespeed74: Why does it always have to be a dungeon? Just move it to a different, less dark room in the house? maybe Sex Study.

I should build a Sex Atrium.

The All-Powerful Atheismo

Smartest (0) Funniest (2)

2017-04-25 4:07:18 PM

Oak: litespeed74: Why does it always have to be a dungeon? Just move it to a different, less dark room in the house? maybe Sex Study.

I should build a Sex Atrium.

How about a Sex Dome?

Displayed 50 of 91 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Redisplay/refresh comments

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Report

If you like these links, you'll love

All the submissions, none of the calories.

learn more | sign up

Report

Support Fark

learn more

Headlines of the Month
Fark NotNewsletter

Report

Fark.com

Top Commented

Top Commented ▼

Top Commented
Top Clicked
Top Voted
My Recent Commented
Recent Mentions

Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.
When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.
Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.
You need to create an account to submit links or post comments.
Click here to submit a link.