1.
3 is playing with a boy named Cooper, but keeps calling him Pooper. I'm doing nothing to correct this.
2.
My daughters are playing Barbies and one of them just said "Ken is wearing a Speedo to the wedding," and that's a wedding I need to attend.
3.
It was princess day at dance and one little girl came as a hot dog I have never admired someone more
4.
7-year-old: All the boys said they were faster than girls in gym class. Me: What did you say? 7: Nothing. I just beat them.
5.
4: "Mom, I'm gonna be just like you when I grow up and say bad words and eat French fries two at a time."
6.
3yo (in bathroom): Mummy, can I put this sticker on Daddy's card? Me (in bed): Yes. 3yo: Will he love it? Me: Yes.
7.
I love the innocent irony of my 5yo telling me who in her class is the biggest tattletale.
8.
My 11-year old's birthday card to me. #blessed
9.
8yo: On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me 5 golden 6: BUTTS 8: 4 calling 6: BUTTS 8: 3 French 6: BUTTS 8: MOMMYYYYY
10.
[At dinner] Daughter: Daddy, how much of this meatball is meat? Me: Probably like 90% D: So it's 10% balls? Me: *spits out food*
11.
watching the kids play hide and seek in the park and mine just hid behind a chain link fence at least we don't have to save for college
12.
7: I'm beating you! Me: Ok. 7: I'm way ahead! Me: I see that. 7: I'm gonna win! Me:.... My son on the carousel horse in front of me.
13.
Yesterday my 3 year old told his Grandma that he wasn't in an old picture because he was still swimming in his daddy's balls #shitmykidsays
14.
Ben thinks this is him and won't let go of the diapers 🙄
15.
I worry about people with fanny packs. - my eleven year old son
16.
Fully expecting a few carefully worded questions at the next parents' night.
17.
The Girl: Why would someone dress like a hamster? Me:.... Do you mean hipster? Girl: What's the difference?
18.
My 5 yo after I explained the concept of breastfeeding: "can you squeeze Capri Suns outta those things or just milk?"
19.
Nothing brings me more joy than my 1 year old texting me +++++++++++++++++++++++++&*_%#@_------- from my wife's phone.