Words that sound like they mean something else

Fedorgasm

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Deliver - Sounds like you are harvesting someone's organs. "I was stoked when she invited me to her hotel room, but then I woke up in a bathtub full of ice and realized that I'd been de-livered"
 
I used to fix CT scanners and one time at the hospital they were preparing this kid for a scan that called for an intravenous iodine-containing contrast medium. They chose to explain it to him like this: "We're going to put some dye in you so we can see it in the scans."

The kid had no idea what the fuck they were trying to say to him - and he just starts yelling "I'M GONNA DIE?!?!? WHAT!! WHY? I'M GONNA DIE?!?!?!?!" over and over. They had to go and get his mother in there to calm him down at which point they were finally able to stick the kid and get back to making that sweet, sweet money.

So there you have it: dye/die. It all really is sort of an unpleasant memory tbh.
 
Inflammable - sounds like it means the opposite of what it actually means. Simpsons had an episode where Dr. Nick accidentally set a fire because of confusion over this.
 
Adjacent. In grade 7 math class the first couple of days the teacher was saying that word, I thought he was saying my name.
 
Alternative Facts...
 
The Penal System....

When the judge tells you that you're going to feel the full force of the penal system, and you're like "Ok fine, but do I still go to jail afterwards?"
 
Deliver - Sounds like you are harvesting someone's organs. "I was stoked when she invited me to her hotel room, but then I woke up in a bathtub full of ice and realized that I'd been de-livered"

Muggle

sounds racist as fuck
 
Inflammable - sounds like it means the opposite of what it actually means. Simpsons had an episode where Dr. Nick accidentally set a fire because of confusion over this.
ineffable means too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words. Not what I thought the word meant but at the same time I find it very suiting. Are you ineffable?

infamous - You would think it means not famous but it is famous, just bad famous.
 
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