Mr Robertson is that deadly combination - a cocky bore: QUENTIN LETTS watches the last PMQs before the election

By Quentin Letts for the Daily Mail

Published: | Updated:

Today's politicians seldom grasp that less is more. Yesterday we had the final PMQs before the election. 

It lasted twice its proper length and bulged with hyperbole, screaming japery and more moist- hanky adieus than the quayside at Cherbourg.

The midday session should take half an hour but Speaker Bercow has let that slip over the past few years, and the event has duly lost some of its dramatic tension.

During the preliminary exchanges of PMQs, Theresa May said that Jeremy Corbyn was ¿simply not up to the job¿ of being Prime Minister

During the preliminary exchanges of PMQs, Theresa May said that Jeremy Corbyn was ‘simply not up to the job’ of being Prime Minister

Yesterday Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn were still doing the preliminaries – howling slogans at each other – at 20 minutes past the hour. 

‘Strong and stable leadership,’ honked Mrs May. ‘Strong on the weak but weak on the strong,’ replied Mr Corbyn.

‘This is the last PMQs,’ said Mr Corbyn, pausing fatally. ‘FOR YOU!’ yelled Tory MPs.

An early question from the Tory side gave Richard Drax (S Dorset) a chance to mention the gamey views of a man in Mr Corbyn’s clique. Apparently he wanted to disband MI5, disarm the police and scrap our nuclear weapons.

Mrs May leapt on this planted question and said it just showed Mr Corbyn was ‘simply not up to the job’. A few, but by no means all, Labour MPs shouted: ‘Rubbish!’

‘When I became Leader of the Opposition 18 months ago,’ said Mr Corbyn at one point. Tory MPs: ‘MORE! MORE!’

To one side of Mrs May sat Chancellor Philip Hammond and Home Secretary Amber Rudd. The anti-Boris alliance, we can perhaps call those two.

Are they the ones who have been calling for Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson to be kept out of the Tory campaign? Boris himself stood at the far end of the Chamber, near the double doors, fully visible to all.

During the last PMQ's before the election, Mr Corbyn ran through questions supplied to him by members of the public - while Emily Thornberry, beside him, was on auto-nod

During the last PMQ's before the election, Mr Corbyn ran through questions supplied to him by members of the public - while Emily Thornberry, beside him, was on auto-nod

Little Tim Farron was trying to catch the Speaker’s eye, at this point to no avail. Corbyn was running through questions supplied to him by members of the public – ‘Christopher’, ‘Maureen’, ‘Sibyl’ etc. 

Emily Thornberry, beside him, was on auto-nod. She just kept lifting and dropping her head, whatever Mr Corbyn was saying. What weirdos they look when they do that.

Mrs May went into a riff in which she contrasted ‘every vote for him’ (i.e. Corbyn) with ‘every vote for me’. The Conservative Party was mentioned much less than ‘me’.

She has not previously struck me as a particularly vain woman but perhaps her adviser Sir Lynton Crosby (Australian) has told her to forget the Pommie self-deprecation for the next six weeks.

Tory backbenchers were demented in their delight. Labour MPs were glum, even more so when the Scots Nats’ Angus Robertson scored a few runs by making Mrs May stumble over pensions policy.

The SNP's Angus Robertson is that deadly combination, a cocky bore

The SNP's Angus Robertson is that deadly combination, a cocky bore

Mr Robertson is that deadly combination, a cocky bore. He is so irritating – cupping an ear ostentatiously as he awaited an answer from Mrs May – that the House would probably contain its grief if he failed to persuade the voters of Moray to return him to Westminster.

Then we were into valedictory contributions, retiring MPs being indulged by the Squeaker.

One of the better ones was Peter Lilley (Con, Hitchin & Harpenden) who shouted over ya-booery from the Opposition that no deal on Brexit would be better than a bad deal.

Solid and brave, Lilley. It is a pity he is retiring.

Sir Gerald Howarth (Con, Aldershot) came over all John of Gaunt and started hailing ‘this sceptred isle’. Violins, Alberto!

Sir Eric Pickles (Con, Brentwood & Ongar) spoke of anti-Semitism and said the Lib Dems’ candidate in Bradford East, David Ward, had a questionable record in that regard. ‘Mr Tim Farron,’ sang Speaker Bercow.

What a stitch-up. Bercow, never a Farron ally, had landed the Lib Dem leader right in it.

The Farron question went almost unheard, such was the clamour for him to ‘apologise’. A couple of hours later, Mr Ward was sacked.

Quite a week for the Lib Dems, what with upsetting both gay and Jewish people. Who can they insult for the hat-trick?

General Election 2017Theresa MayJeremy Corbyn

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