Social media fears of public school parents: Quarter of families whose teens attend elite institutions say 'devices, gaming and online life' are their biggest concern

  • Survey of parents with kids at elite schools listed 'online life' as biggest concern
  • Poll on 21st Century issues revealed social media among their biggest worries
  • Some feared their sons may even develop distorted view of relationships
  • Parents reported feeling 'increasingly isolated from their children's social lives' 

Parents of public school pupils say social media issues such as internet porn are now among their biggest worries as children increasingly live their lives online.

A survey of families whose teenagers attend the most elite schools in the country has found many are worried about prolonged use of smartphones and iPads.

Almost a quarter of the families listed ‘devices, gaming and online life’ as their biggest concern in a poll of 21st Century issues facing teenagers.

Parents of public school pupils say social media issues such as internet porn are now among their biggest worries as children increasingly live their lives online. Stock image

Parents of public school pupils say social media issues such as internet porn are now among their biggest worries as children increasingly live their lives online. Stock image

The survey of 500 parents was carried out by the Headmasters’ and Headmistresses’ Conference (HMC), which represents the top day and boarding schools in the country.

Families reported feeling ‘increasingly separated from their children’s social lives’, especially since many friendships and relationships are now carried out ‘in isolation’ online.

Some parents said they feared their sons might develop a distorted view of relationships if they stumbled upon internet porn on social media.

One said: ‘I want my son to respect girls and not treat them like online porn stars.’

Others said they worried sites including Facebook, Instagram and Twitter may be standing in the way of youngsters learning how to build real life, face-to-face friendships.

The research team asked parents to identify the issues they would most like schools to provide help and guidance on.

The parents listed work pressures and exams as their top concern, followed by online and social media issues as their second largest concern.

Head teachers said this new issue has become increasingly pressing among parents in recent years.

One parent said: ‘I find it impossible to stop my kids using phones and social media whilst studying at home.’

Another said: ‘Social media, body image, social pressures and the public nature of relationships is causing a huge strain on my teenage daughter.’

A third added: ‘Building true relationships – not just thinking that an online relationship is a real relationship – is really important and needs guidance.’

And another added: ‘Socialisation seems to happen online from the child’s bedroom.’

Dr Bernard Trafford, chair of the HMC’s wellbeing group, said: ‘Schools have worked hard with their parents to reduce the stresses and strains of work and exams.

‘Many senior schools are noticing more parents asking for advice about helping their children to navigate the increasingly complex world of online and offline relationships.

Almost a quarter of the families listed ‘devices, gaming and online life’ as their biggest concern in a poll of 21st Century issues facing teenagers. Stock image

Almost a quarter of the families listed ‘devices, gaming and online life’ as their biggest concern in a poll of 21st Century issues facing teenagers. Stock image

‘They tell us that they feel increasingly separated from their children’s social lives.

‘This is natural in teenage years, but what’s new is that teenage relationships are often carried out in in isolation whilst children are on their devices.

‘This is causing a new kind of adult-child disconnection which requires us to join up the dots between teachers, parents and children in an attempt to create some new social rules together.’

When asked in more detail about their views around the internet, parents said they worried social media use late at night might be leading to a lack of sleep.

Others worried about online gaming and addiction to the internet, as well as how to set boundaries around its use around the home.

Dr Trafford added: ‘Schools are emphatically not telling parents how to parent, but we have a lot of experience with young people and are responding to a clear need.

‘The survey has given us useful pointers to where we need to direct the support and guidance we give to parents. We are intrigued to see worries about self-esteem and confidence; fear of unhealthy friendships and/or liaisons; addictive habits and activities.

‘We are responding by offering expert talks and parental workshops, we’re developing materials and we’re working with state schools to share as widely as possible what we find.’

A quarter of respondents had children aged 13 to 14 while another quarter of parents had children aged 16 to 17 years old and the rest were of other senior school age groups.  

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