The Week the Landlords Moved In review – mould, rats and tears

‘Let it and forget it,” has always been the mantra of Peter who, with his son Marc, owns a £7m property empire in Essex and east London. Now, for a show called The Week The Landlords Moved In (BBC1), the two of them are spending a few days in one of their own rentals. It’s home to 66-year-old Linda, who still works – as a carer of kids with special needs – because she needs the money to pay the rent.

“Cor, smells a bit,” says Marc, when they walk in. It can’t be mould though, because they installed a mould-busting ventilation unit when Linda reported mould before. “Seems to have done the trick,” says Peter. “We haven’t got any mould or anything in here …”

But they can’t keep up the mould denial for long. “There’s bit of mould there,” admits Marc.

“Yeah, that’s mould,” Peter has to agree.

“And up there.” And that’s before they go into the bedroom. Linda’s basically been sleeping inside a stilton – in the fridge, because after she’s paid the rent she can’t afford heating.

Maybe Peter and Marc are beginning to realise the programme they have agreed to go on might not end up as one that illustrates how brilliant it is that 11 million people in this country can’t afford to buy and have to rent, mostly from private landlords who get rich on a sorry situation.

Maybe they should have suspected. Can we just have some shots of you and the missus in your lovely garden, leafing through exotic holiday brochures, please Peter? And you driving around in your canary yellow Audi TT, Marc? Lovely, thanks ...

They respond to the state-of-their property situation in different ways, father and son. Peter’s initial reaction is to blame the tenant. “I’m a little bit disappointed in Linda in not coming forward,” he says. And he’s not keen on renovating while she’s still there. “Don’t you think there’s an ethical issue here?” asks his son.

“No, I don’t want to get too emotionally involved.” (By this, I think he might mean facing up to reality.)

Peter’s solution? “Maybe it’s time she thought about moving into a smaller property then, maybe a one-bed flat,” he says. Good one, kick her out – exactly what she feared, and why she was frightened of reporting the problems the first time.

Luckily for Linda, the younger generation has a conscience. Now, it could be that Marc suddenly remembers that this is on the telly and that evicting Linda wouldn’t come across that brilliantly. But to me it looks like a genuine eye-opener. “I’ve been living in a bit of a bubble,” he says, sounding upset. “What’s been building up beneath the surface is knowing I’m responsible for someone else’s living conditions, and I never imagined it would be like this.”

He arranges for renovations to be made, a proper tenancy agreement, help with the electricity if it gets too much. Even Peter seems to have come round … Hmm, not totally convinced by that one. I think it may have been more a case of: “Dad, will you shut the eff up!”

In the other case study (because a show like this requires at least two, between which to yo-yo), landlord Paul calls his Milton Keynes office “Success HQ” and his girlfriend Priya “Queen P”. And, though the number plate of his Mercedes has been fuzzed out, I imagine it’s probably BE11 END, because that’s what he is. He’s going to stay in one of his many HMOs, which you will know stands for house in multiple occupation, rented out by the room for maximum profit.

“I would be surprised if there were problems in the house and there were things that needed sorting and fixing,” he says on the way over.

The room he and Queen P are staying in, tenant Hayley’s room, is nice and clean and tidy, but the communal kitchen is disgusting. And would that be mould, Paul? “Maybe there’s a bit of mould,” he says, of a massive festering patch that makes Linda’s stilton look like low-fat mozzarella.

What about the rat infestation? “In respect of the furry family, it is something that happens in built-up areas,” says Paul. Yeah, be positive, you don’t get to be in Success HQ by seeing the negative in everything. Paul’s hilarious. He does give the kitchen a lick of paint, though, maybe even begins to understand the HMO model could work better for the landlord than the tenant.

It is a familiar formula, life-swap television. But the specifics give it more than a fresh lick of paint. Now it illustrates not just a housing crisis but yet another deep division in the country, between the have-nots and the have-lots (of property). And that makes it pretty relevant.