Parents during kids BJJ class

Italianissimo

Yellow Belt
@Yellow
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Do you let parents attend the BJJ/Judo/Wrestling class of their children?
In my opinion they should stay out of the gym.
Your thoughts?
 
They're allowed to watch at my gym. Most of them are looking at their phones while their kids are training. I've never heard of any problems. If I had kids who train I would want to watch.
 
I run most of the Saturday kids classes at our gym and we have a strict rule. Unless there's some kind of emergency, parents aren't allowed on the mat and they can't talk to their kids while class is happening. They have to leave the kids alone and let the coaches coach.

Every now and then we get a parent who can't handle this rule so we'll give them a warning or two. If they still have an issue we usually ask them to not be present during class anymore. This has only happened twice and both times the parents were overly competitive wrestling parents. They kept yelling instructions to their kids like they were at a wrestling meet. In both cases they were yelling these instructions during drilling sessions. lol They were just way too intense.

The only other times we've had to ask parents not to attend class is when the kids just seem to perform better without their parents watching (which, 9 times out of 10 also ends up being wrestling parents lol). Some kids just get so stressed not wanting to screw up in front of their parents that they get paralyzed. Most of the time these parents aren't really even problems or actively doing anything wrong. The kids just freak out on their own.

I think I'd be uncomfortable with a school that, as a blanket rule, doesn't let the parents watch.
 
I don't think you can keep them out of the gym entirely. You should expect that parents will want to see what their kids are doing through the class. I wouldn't take my kids somewhere I couldn't at least watch from a distance.

That said, there should be firm limits. I've trained in schools where the parents are permitted to coach their kids or even get on the mat themselves to give advice. This is bullshit, creates confusion about who is in charge, and leaves the kids listening to incompetent technical instruction.

I've always advocated for a hard "zero communication over the mat boundary" policy. If you're training, you're on the mat and the coach is the one running training. No one else on the mat gives advice unless asked to do so by the coach. If you're off the mat, you don't talk to people training even if you're the head black belt of the academy. Other students, and especially non-training parents, don't talk to people on the mat about anything. Definitely no trans-mat socializing. Obvious exceptions to this rule are injury and/or imminent blood/vomit situations, and open mat sessions.

(Edit: Yeah, exactly what Cotalis describes.)
 
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Yeah that's weird if parents can't watch. I'm planning on taking my 4 year old to my bjj gym when he turns 6 or so and would like to be able to watch.

Can't wait and hope he likes it !
 
Yea, parents need to be able to watch at least. Especially now a days with sexual predators out there. You don't want any accusations especially if it's not true!
 
If you have to watch because you are afraid of sexual predators it means your confidence on the teacher is very low
 
If you have to watch because you are afraid of sexual predators it means your confidence on the teacher is very low
It's not even that. It's about accountability. It's just good policy to allow parents to watch but not speak during class. Not because every one is a predator. You just don't want to be that school that shouldn't have allowed the predator any chance. Sometimes I think you don't know.
 
You're able to perfectly judge everyone's character by meeting them once or twice?

There should be a gun in the middle of the room so we can defend ourselves if someone turns out to be a bad guy

... a good guy gun that won't work for the bad guy...

Constant vigilence
 
I know it can't work everywhere, but we are lucky enough to have a large window outside the class with benches so the parents can't ear anything, the kids aren't distracted and the parents can see what's going on. It's the best because the parents know that their kids don't behave but they can't interfere during class.

We let them on the mat for promotions, someguys like me stretches in the room because I have my own class just after. The coach just doesn't want us to do discipline at the same time they do.
 
If you have to watch because you are afraid of sexual predators it means your confidence on the teacher is very low

Like Dogstarman said -

For us, it's not even about "predators". We as coaches know that we as coaches are NOT predators. We allow parents because it encourages a family atmosphere and active participation. It makes the team stronger and it allows the parents to see what the kids are doing and be active in their lives.

I don't have kids, but if I did, and I was sending them to a place where they were learning things like chokes and joint locks, you had better believe I would want to be present. I would want to make sure they were learning these things in a safe and well supervised environment where the kids were receiving positive messages.

There's a gym about an hour away from us that will only allow certain parents to watch the kids practice. These "coaches" claim a CSW lineage but only appear to have real boxing experience. The best they've done is show that they attended a single Paulson seminar years ago. They yell at the kids like they're little gladiators and tern them loose on each other (and we're talking little kids - 5 - 9 year olds) with neck cranks and heel hooks and spinal attacks in class. It's horrific and we've actually banned them from attending tournaments we put on.

We allow parents to watch so they can see that this is NOT the kind of thing we allow in our gym.
 
When I was in Myrtle Beach the parents would yell like crazy becasue the instructors let them get away with being a blackbelt parent but the place I am at now the parents just sit and watch respectfully.
 
Parents should be present (why trust your kids to anyone so freely) and should be respectful of class (not interrupt and distract from the instruction).
 
If you have to watch because you are afraid of sexual predators it means your confidence on the teacher is very low

There was a BJJ black belt from Hawaii who was teaching in Oregon who ended up committing suicide because it came to light that he was sexually assaulting the children in his kid programs.

Adult men being around children who are not their own need to be mindful of how things could potentially look and take precaution accordingly.
 
They are resigned to the lobby of the gym, and not allowed in the mat room. We have 3 cameras connected to flat screens in the lobby where they can watch the classes.
 
I worked at a gym where I was the kids instructor, and the owner had a no parents policy. Not due to distractions, but he was paranoid that parents would use the gym during the kids class without paying. If they paid for a gym membership, they could watch. I found this highly disturbing. Most parents have no idea what BJJ looks like or is about outside of karate movies and the UFC. IMO, if they are paying for a service for their kids, they should be able to observe. The gym owners business practices eventually led to the gym going bankrupt, as well as him scamming investors.
 
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