Later that night, I got to thinking about the apocalypse and relationships. If the Earth could go up in flames after 4.54 billion years, why couldn’t Big and I keep our relationship hot after three? When it comes to relationships, shouldn’t we be holding out for someone who lights our world on fire?
**
SAMANTHA: Oooh! Look at that guy eating his golden retriever! Mamma likey.
MIRANDA: Samantha! How can you be thinking about sex at a time like this? It’s Armageddon!
SAMANTHA: Armageddon? More like Arma-gonna-get-it-on!
**
Looking up at the sky now, Charlotte felt embarrassed about all the nights she had prayed for a rock.
**
CARRIE: I just want to pop in here for a second.
CHARLOTTE: Carrie, the store is on FIRE!
CARRIE: I know—that’s what I call a fire sale!
**
At that moment, as I watched Aidan get split in two by the spire of the Chrysler Building, I finally realized what the universe had been trying to tell me all along: It was over between us.
**
MIRANDA: Charlotte, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you with Harry?
CHARLOTTE: Miranda, please! If he sees my skin peel off from nuclear radiation, I’ll literally die.
**
[Approaching the gates of Heaven.]
CARRIE: My feet hurt and I’m starving.
SAMANTHA: Tell me about it. You’d think there’d be at least one brunch spot.
CARRIE [Looks around empty cloudscape.]: That’s a Para-NO-DICE.
