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(ABC7 Los Angeles)   Consumer Reports taste tests store bought frozen pizzas and concludes that, for the tenth year running, the winner is: The boxes they all came in   (abc7.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, crispy crust pizza, Tomato, store-bought frozen pizza, California Pizza Kitchen, Fruit, Vegetable, top-ranked cheese pizzas, Pizza  
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7638 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jan 2018 at 2:35 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Copy Link



207 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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vudukungfu [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (5)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:08:48 PM  
It ain't that hard.
Just get it right.
We put people on the farking moon
 
hugram [TotalFark]  
Smartest (22)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:10:43 PM  
When using the toppings I like, I will always like pizza, no matter how bad it might actually be.

A bad pizza still taste pretty good to me, but I do appreciate a well-made pizza.
 
2018-01-19 2:26:56 PM  
Dr. Oetker Guiseppe and Delissio Vintage frozen pizzas are actually pretty good.  They're about the only ones that are, but as it is they're actually quite decent and make some proper use of spices on top to jazz things up a bit, as well as using decent mozzarella, good pepperoni, and a sauce base that doesn't suck.
 
2018-01-19 2:36:01 PM  
still better than Dominoes
 
2018-01-19 2:36:30 PM  

Psychopusher: Dr. Oetker Guiseppe and Delissio Vintage frozen pizzas are actually pretty good.  They're about the only ones that are, but as it is they're actually quite decent and make some proper use of spices on top to jazz things up a bit, as well as using decent mozzarella, good pepperoni, and a sauce base that doesn't suck.


Yeah the Dr. Oetker are decent, and the Newman's Own not too shabby either if you get them on sale.
 
2018-01-19 2:37:02 PM  

vudukungfu: It ain't that hard.
Just get it right.
We put people on the farking moon


i.frikkinawesome.comView Full Size

Send help....
 
C18H27NO3  
Smartest (23)   Funniest (2)  
2018-01-19 2:38:38 PM  
Report a Typo

How about you just run a spellcheck before you submit your own lame article you lazy-ass.
 
Thingster  
Smartest (12)   Funniest (19)  
2018-01-19 2:39:03 PM  

hugram: When using the toppings I like, I will always like pizza, no matter how bad it might actually be.

A bad pizza still taste pretty good to me, but I do appreciate a well-made pizza.


Pizza is like sex; when it's good it's great, and when it's bad. . . it's still pretty good.
 
gameshowhost [OhFark]  
Smartest (17)   Funniest (1)  
2018-01-19 2:39:27 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


cheap n tasty
 
Tad_Waxpole  
Smartest (13)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:39:53 PM  
The take & bake pizzas from Costco are great, and cheap.
 
flemardo  
Smartest (13)   Funniest (9)  
2018-01-19 2:40:08 PM  
"We consider the nutrition profile "
I stopped reading there.
 
logieal [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (9)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:40:10 PM  
I don't know about you, but Costco's Kirkland thin crust pepperoni frozen pizzas are amazing for the price. 4 for $12.

There are actually enough pepperoni slices to completely cover the surface of the pizza. That to me is worth it to begin with. Add in that it actually tastes decent and it's a no-brainer.
 
T.rex  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:40:13 PM  
i do agree California Pizza Kitchen are probably the best.   Trader Joes's variety are good too.

A personal favorite of mine is the Paul Newman, but i only see it in the boring pepperoni.   If he had more variety, i'd get that one every time.
 
Miniac78  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (14)  
2018-01-19 2:41:02 PM  

vudukungfu: It ain't that hard.
Just get it right.
We put people on the farking moon


"allegedly"
 
2018-01-19 2:41:10 PM  
Freschetta TV Commercial
Youtube bxA22lAix94

I was reaching for a Tortinos when some lady started this in my Shop 'n Save.  Almost took my arm off!
 
tarheel07  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2018-01-19 2:42:07 PM  
I rarely order pizza from a big delivery chain anymore.  If I want pizza I'll get a take-and-bake from the grocery store which is about the same price as the frozen pizzas and wasn't shipped from some factory a thousand miles away.
 
Corn_Fed  
Smartest (4)   Funniest (7)  
2018-01-19 2:42:47 PM  
The absolute best frozen pizza is Trader Joes "Pizza 4 Formaggi" in the blue box. It's the best, hands down. Hands down. HANDS DOWN.

/I said hands down. Just shut up. You can have your own opinions, but you can't have your own facts. And this is a fact. A fact. A FACT.
 
phalamir [TotalFark]  
Smartest (9)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:43:29 PM  

vudukungfu: It ain't that hard.
Just get it right.
We put people on the farking moon


It is that hard.  The problem is that thawing meat and especially veggies generally tears the ever-living fark out of the cellular structure of the ingredients.  Freezing creates ice crystals inside cells.  And this is essentially stuffing a bag of water full of razor blades.  While frozen, this means little.  But thawing gets rid of the razor blades while the holes they made remain.  This is why the ingredients in frozen foods are often mushy.  You could flash-freeze foods with stuff like liquid nitrogen and the process would happen so fast the ice crystals would be small, Nerf-darts.  But that is hilariously expensive for industrial food production.  So, unless you want $40 frozen pizzas, we ain't getting it.
 
2018-01-19 2:43:31 PM  
You don't have the right oven.  Just deal that it's not going to be as good as what you can get delivered and get over it.
 
zpaul  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:44:10 PM  
Funny this is a topic today , last night the wife and i were just plain lazy so When i ran for beers at Walgreens , I got a djiorno - let me tell you it was the best damn pizza.
 
2018-01-19 2:44:28 PM  
Dr. Oetker Virtuoso thin and crispy crust pizza

I saw this at the grocery store about 6 months ago and grabbed it as it was something different. My review: It sucked.
 
ChipNASA  
Smartest (24)   Funniest (9)  
2018-01-19 2:44:58 PM  
Please you unrefined plebeians,
I only eat this when I want the best and I do it pinky extended
image.nj.comView Full Size
 
jck_strw  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (4)  
2018-01-19 2:45:15 PM  
I only trust pizza reviews from Leonard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r73C0N8FDek
 
MythDragon  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:45:50 PM  
Those frozen 4 packs (Mama Rose or something?) of individual deep dish pizzas are pretty damn good.
 
2018-01-19 2:45:54 PM  
I don't care if it's freakin' healthy or not, it needs to taste good.
 
2018-01-19 2:46:54 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


I always buy frozen pizzas made by a local company.
Good product. Good price.
Had their bacon and potato pizza last night.
Delicious.
 
2018-01-19 2:47:02 PM  
I've been getting these:

Fark user imageView Full Size


Five bucks on sale. They're not bad, but I find the sauce too sweet. They're better re-heated.
 
Keeve  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:47:28 PM  

gameshowhost: [img.fark.net image 178x178]

cheap n tasty


Yup, Jack's is best Bang for the Buck frozen pizza. If there's a sale, you can get 4 pizzas for $10.
 
Bartle J.  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:48:31 PM  

C18H27NO3: Report a Typo

How about you just run a spellcheck before you submit your own lame article you lazy-ass.


A typo isn't just a misspelled word. It can also be a correctly-spelled, yet incorrectly-used word, which would go unnoticed by a spell-checker. Offering readers a chance to participate in making sure you don't look like an idiot is a smart, free way to get tons scrutinizing eyes to pick apart your every word and let you know what an idiot you are before it is noticed by the whole world.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2018-01-19 2:48:41 PM  
Take a cast iron pan.

Line the bottom and sides with pizza dough, which is easy to make (or buy if you must).

Fill the bottom with cheese.  Put toppings on the cheese.  Pour pizza sauce on the toppings.

Bake in the oven.
 
Carthax  
Smartest (11)   Funniest (2)  
2018-01-19 2:48:47 PM  
Totino's Party Pizzas are my long-term guilty pleasure.  I would eat those for every meal if it didn't mean I'd weigh 300 pounds inside of a month.
 
2018-01-19 2:49:14 PM  
Photograph of "expert tasters"

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Hey Nurse! [OhFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (1)  
2018-01-19 2:49:29 PM  
Well, since St Louis-style pizza is the only pizza worth eating to begin with (ducks under table to avoid being hit with shoes and bricks), Dogtown Frozen Pizza is good.
 
2018-01-19 2:49:37 PM  
I like stouffer's french bread pizza. I'll leave it to everybody else to argue whether french bread pizza is really a pizza.
 
Brainsick  
Smartest (4)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:49:49 PM  

SomeAmerican: Take a cast iron pan.

Line the bottom and sides with pizza dough, which is easy to make (or buy if you must).

Fill the bottom with cheese.  Put toppings on the cheese.  Pour pizza sauce on the toppings.

Bake in the oven.


You make pizza casserole?
 
anustart  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (7)  
2018-01-19 2:50:06 PM  
My kids can't tell the difference between the $3 WalMart frozen pizza and the $8 Sobey's frozen pizza.

WalMart's pizza shouldn't feel flattered by that.
 
2018-01-19 2:50:12 PM  
Frozen pizza technology has actually improved exponentially from when I was a kid.

Personally, I buy the cheapest cheese pizza available and put my own fresh meats and vegetables on it and it's (nearly) as good as the expensive stuff.
 
Carthax  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (3)  
2018-01-19 2:50:59 PM  

ChipNASA: Please you unrefined plebeians,
I only eat this when I want the best and I do it pinky extended
[image.nj.com image 620x465]


Carthax: Totino's Party Pizzas are my long-term guilty pleasure.  I would eat those for every meal if it didn't mean I'd weigh 300 pounds inside of a month.


[shakes tiny, impotent, grease-covered fist]
 
MNguy  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:51:05 PM  
Heggies FTW, but Totinos will do in a pinch
 
Tax Boy  
Smartest (9)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:51:26 PM  
https://www.marthastewart.com/332275/basic-pizza-dough

+

Fark user imageView Full Size


=

pretty darn tasty pizza

YOU'RE WELCOME, AMERICA
 
2018-01-19 2:51:54 PM  

Carthax: Totino's Party Pizzas are my long-term guilty pleasure.  I would eat those for every meal if it didn't mean I'd weigh 300 pounds inside of a month.


Those are the same as Kraft Mac N Cheese for me. They are both total garbage from a nutrition standpoint but they taste like childhood and comfort.
 
2018-01-19 2:52:04 PM  
I'm single, and getting a standard frozen pizza just means I'll eat the whole damn pizza.  Totinos cheese pizza as a base and then add ingredients is what I will usually do. Much less calories, cost and guilt from eating the whole thing.

/fat
 
2018-01-19 2:54:11 PM  

Brainsick: SomeAmerican: Take a cast iron pan.
Line the bottom and sides with pizza dough, which is easy to make (or buy if you must).
Fill the bottom with cheese.  Put toppings on the cheese.  Pour pizza sauce on the toppings.
Bake in the oven.

You make pizza casserole?


If that's what you consider Chicago deep dish pizzas to be.
 
2018-01-19 2:54:19 PM  
Not all are bad.

d2lnr5mha7bycj.cloudfront.netView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2018-01-19 2:54:27 PM  

phalamir: vudukungfu: It ain't that hard.
Just get it right.
We put people on the farking moon

It is that hard.  The problem is that thawing meat and especially veggies generally tears the ever-living fark out of the cellular structure of the ingredients.  Freezing creates ice crystals inside cells.  And this is essentially stuffing a bag of water full of razor blades.  While frozen, this means little.  But thawing gets rid of the razor blades while the holes they made remain.  This is why the ingredients in frozen foods are often mushy.


What is one supposed to do with leftover veggies?

I froze some celery I had leftover from making Thanksgiving Day dressing. Got out a few stalks to make some split-pea soup last weekend. When thawed out, that once crispy celery was now mush. Same with onions.

Am I supposed to buy a whole head of celery, use 3 stalks, and throw the rest out?
 
jchic  
Smartest (5)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:54:38 PM  

ChipNASA: Please you unrefined plebeians,
I only eat this when I want the best and I do it pinky extended
[image.nj.com image 620x465]


They just haven't been the same since they lost the box and made them square.
 
2018-01-19 2:54:41 PM  
Totino's was for when I was a broke-ass grad student.  Now that I can afford better:

prod-cdn.thekrazycouponlady.comView Full Size
 
mainsail  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:54:49 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: [YouTube video: Freschetta TV Commercial]
I was reaching for a Tortinos when some lady started this in my Shop 'n Save.  Almost took my arm off!


Seems like a dangerous pizza if it almost took your arm off.
 
alizeran [recently expired TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (14)  
2018-01-19 2:55:13 PM  
Its a fair point.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
dr.zaeus  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (4)  
2018-01-19 2:56:58 PM  
Sasquatch or GTFO.
i5.walmartimages.comView Full Size

Bonus: They only sell it at Wal-Mart and single slice (1/10 of the pizza) has 17g of fat and 1,000 mg of sodium.
 
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