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(PennLive)   Speeding with 245 bags of heroin and a lot of cash makes it easy to bust you, Mr. clean-cut all-American drug runner   (pennlive.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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5143 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jan 2018 at 2:20 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Copy Link



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Diogenes [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (5)  
2018-01-19 2:10:41 PM  
Is his nickname D-Money, Smoothie, or Shifty?
 
Diogenes [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (6)  
2018-01-19 2:12:37 PM  
The bags were stamped with the name "CHANEL" in blue ink.

Ah, makers of the classic little black tar heroin.
 
LarryDan43  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:23:09 PM  
Now he's in debt.
 
kdawg7736 [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:24:07 PM  

LarryDan43: Now he's in debt.


....and lots of it, too. Crime doesn't pay.
 
berylman  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:24:45 PM  
Sure he doesn't look like a washed-up bum but clean-cut is a stretch. He probably cleaned up his appearance just to transport.
 
2018-01-19 2:24:52 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Everything else looks horizontal.  Sarah Huckabee's love child? Hey.   Stranger things have happened.
 
bikerbob59  
Smartest (2)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:26:20 PM  
That is not clean-cut.
 
2018-01-19 2:27:37 PM  
So what happened to the other five bags?
 
doctor wu  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2018-01-19 2:28:16 PM  
His ass will be popular in prison.
 
2018-01-19 2:28:45 PM  
The next story down is a hoot too.

Robyn Elian Oelke, 34, faces drug and child endangerment charges after a 10-year-old boy she babysits came home with a bag of pot and an opioid pill, police say. (screen shot via CitizensVoice.com)
Fark user imageView Full Size

Be funny if she took that selfie while lying on the bathroom floor stoned.
 
2018-01-19 2:29:05 PM  
What are the odds someone with the exact same hair length and beard, but a darker skin tone, would ever be described as "clean cut"?

/folks, don't ever authorize the cops to search your car
 
gregscott  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:29:24 PM  
You would think that Drug Smuggling 101 would have a chapter on obeying traffic laws.
 
2018-01-19 2:29:39 PM  

bikerbob59: That is not clean-cut.


Correct. "Clean-cut" means you don't have a beard.
 
2018-01-19 2:31:51 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: [img.fark.net image 600x450]
Everything else looks horizontal.  Sarah Huckabee's love child? Hey.   Stranger things have happened.


His hairline is weird. It seems to follow a similar angle to his eyes.
 
2018-01-19 2:33:32 PM  

holdmybones: Harry Freakstorm: [img.fark.net image 600x450]
Everything else looks horizontal.  Sarah Huckabee's love child? Hey.   Stranger things have happened.

His hairline is weird. It seems to follow a similar angle to his eyes.


I sometimes miss the old photoshop of mugshot days.
 
2018-01-19 2:34:29 PM  

holdmybones: Harry Freakstorm: [img.fark.net image 600x450]
Everything else looks horizontal.  Sarah Huckabee's love child? Hey.   Stranger things have happened.

His hairline is weird. It seems to follow a similar angle to his eyes.


And ears.
 
2018-01-19 2:35:14 PM  
t

holdmybones: Harry Freakstorm: [img.fark.net image 600x450]
Everything else looks horizontal.  Sarah Huckabee's love child? Hey.   Stranger things have happened.

His hairline is weird. It seems to follow a similar angle to his eyes.


That's because the earth is neither spherical or flat, it is angled.
 
2018-01-19 2:35:20 PM  
FTFA: they found him holding 245 bags of heroin and hundreds of dollars in cash

Woooooo Big time!!  Well, hundreds of dollars in western PA might count as baller.
 
2018-01-19 2:42:38 PM  
"......and hundreds of dollars in cash."

Well, that's pretty f*cking gansta right there.
 
arcgear  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 2:43:06 PM  

doctor wu: His ass will be popular in prison.


Don't know if you did that intentionally, but lol
 
2018-01-19 2:43:45 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: [img.fark.net image 600x450]
Everything else looks horizontal.  Sarah Huckabee's love child? Hey.   Stranger things have happened.


Nope. Have a look at those ears
 
2018-01-19 2:45:01 PM  

gregscott: You would think that Drug Smuggling 101 would have a chapter on obeying traffic laws.


I would say that would be rule #1 for transporting drugs by ground.
 
2018-01-19 2:45:49 PM  
1) Buy a used minivan. Lots of cargo space.
2) Take it to be inspected by a dishonest mechanic, the kind of guy who will make up a problem if he can't find one.
3) Wear a long sleeve button up shirt and a sweater vest.
4) Have a GPS affixed to your dash.
5) Drive exactly the speed limit.

You will be effectively invisible.

/YMMV in poor southern speed trap towns
//Tuck your long hair up under your cap and don't tip your hat to the lady even if old greenteeth tells you.
 
LarryDan43  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2018-01-19 2:47:12 PM  

ababyatemydingo: bikerbob59: That is not clean-cut.

Correct. "Clean-cut" means you don't have a beard.


Check his penis.
 
2018-01-19 2:47:58 PM  

Eli WhiskeyDik: gregscott: You would think that Drug Smuggling 101 would have a chapter on obeying traffic laws.

I would say that would be rule #1 for transporting drugs by ground.


If it was me, i'd give the car a mini-inspection for lights, horn, wipers.
 
2018-01-19 2:48:03 PM  

Eli WhiskeyDik: Harry Freakstorm: [img.fark.net image 600x450]
Everything else looks horizontal.  Sarah Huckabee's love child? Hey.   Stranger things have happened.

Nope. Have a look at those ears


Slightly.  Maybe the mechanical rice picker held on to one ear slightly longer than the other.  But fortunately, an American missionary living nearby was a skilled plastic surgeon.
 
2018-01-19 2:53:28 PM  

Billy Bathsalt: Eli WhiskeyDik: gregscott: You would think that Drug Smuggling 101 would have a chapter on obeying traffic laws.

I would say that would be rule #1 for transporting drugs by ground.

If it was me, i'd give the car a mini-inspection for lights, horn, wipers.


Username checks out.
 
berylman  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2018-01-19 3:20:59 PM  
The Irresponsible Captain:  3) Wear a long sleeve button up shirt and a sweater vest.
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size

I am amused by the thought of Rick Santorum, drug smuggler extraordinaire.
 
NASAM  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 3:22:22 PM  
Why the F would you ever give the cops permission to search your car?  ESPECIALLY if you have drugs.
 
Riche  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 3:23:08 PM  
**Sigh**

Stupid, stupid kid.

Jeez, where can I apply to get a job as a drug mule?

Fark user imageView Full Size


I'm white, male, middle aged, overweight, and drive a 2013 Honda Accord. I haven't gotten a traffic ticket in about 19 years. The very few times I've been pulled over since then has lead to downright pleasant conversations along with a mild warning from the local pig.

All I need is a haircut and a bumper sticker with a catchy Bible verse and I'm full stealth.

I assume the pay is pretty good.

/heh heh heh.
//They never realize I'm the libbiest lib who ever libbed.
///Three slashies for Democratic Socialism!
 
brantgoose [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 3:28:21 PM  
I do not advise being a speeding drug mule while black. That is how they get you.

The cops wouldn't even bother to stop you for speeding if it weren't for (a) the ticket moneys and quotas; (b) racism and (c) drugs. (Also:  hot chicks/dudes.)

If he was driving a really nice car, that was also a mistake. Sometimes cops who love cars will stop you for a look-see.

So I guess there are at least five reasons they stop you: money, sex, drugs, prejudice, and hot wheels.
 
brantgoose [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 3:30:54 PM  
Be old, white, slow, law-abiding, rich, and drive a dull expensive car with IN-STATE licence plates. In other words, the most dangerous people on the road and you will never get stopped but seldom, when they are near the end of their monthly quota.

This is authoritarian AND authoritative American folklore, folks!
 
bikerbob59  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2018-01-19 3:31:59 PM  

LarryDan43: ababyatemydingo: bikerbob59: That is not clean-cut.

Correct. "Clean-cut" means you don't have a beard.

Check his penis.


No, YOU check his penis.
 
brantgoose [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 3:32:04 PM  
Is something dragging off the back of your car? a muffler? a pedestrian? a fancy bicycle with Mag frames?

No? You're OK.
 
IRQ12  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 3:41:06 PM  

The Irresponsible Captain: 1) Buy a used minivan. Lots of cargo space.
2) Take it to be inspected by a dishonest mechanic, the kind of guy who will make up a problem if he can't find one.
3) Wear a long sleeve button up shirt and a sweater vest.
4) Have a GPS affixed to your dash.
5) Drive exactly the speed limit.

You will be effectively invisible.

/YMMV in poor southern speed trap towns
//Tuck your long hair up under your cap and don't tip your hat to the lady even if old greenteeth tells you.


You're still not invisible to profiling which is how a lot of these things come about, they see a person(s) that meet the profile and then find or make up some BS reason to stop them.  And the only reason to not give consent to search is to maybe have some hope of a legal defense down the road, once they ask they are searching one way or another, most likely have a dog come "indicate" (after he is prompted to)

I would get made up as a 85 year old man and drive an old crown vic with absolutely no tint.  Heck I might do that if I wasn't doing anything wrong because these 'drug corridor' podunk towns are scary places.
 
Arkanaut  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (1)  
2018-01-19 3:42:26 PM  

Diogenes: Is his nickname D-Money, Smoothie, or Shifty?


Headline said white though.

// if you translate "clean-cut"
 
Nesher [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 3:47:01 PM  
All of the criminals described on this webpage who have pictures do not appear to be Mexican, Haitian, or from dunghole countries. The one not pictured has a name that is not overtly African or Latino, but might be African-American.
 
Percise1  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 4:01:15 PM  
image.pennlive.comView Full Size


If you spend that much time sculpting your facial hair, you might be a douche?
You might also be a heroin dealer, apparently.

And as for his misshapen head, the ONLY things straight (level/symmetrical) are the mouth and jaw, everything thing else is sliding for home off to the left. Even his damn neck is crooked...

/doc was heavy handed with the salad tongs and the hauling out
 
2018-01-19 4:13:11 PM  

Super Chronic: What are the odds someone with the exact same hair length and beard, but a darker skin tone, would ever be described as "clean cut"?

/folks, don't ever authorize the cops to search your car


Better to never roll dirty and not transport felony amounts of heroin.   I've ever be asked to search on the few traffic stops I've had.  If the cops ask to search and you say NO, do they just shrug and say ok, never mind?  Or are they more likely to detain you and get a warrant and a dog?
(Middle age white guy)
 
WTFDYW [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 4:23:15 PM  
Just hang the motherfarker.
 
arcgear  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 4:29:23 PM  

WTFDYW: Just hang the motherfarker.


Easy to share those sentiments after reading such a dogshiat comment.
 
2018-01-19 4:46:30 PM  
And the police turn in 5 bags to the evidence locker
 
2018-01-19 5:02:52 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size


Ken has no genitals or anus,  so prison will be kind to him
 
Z-clipped  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 5:12:58 PM  

Super Chronic: What are the odds someone with the exact same hair length and beard, but a darker skin tone, would ever be described as "clean cut"?

/folks, don't ever authorize the cops to search your car


Yeah, it says he agreed to a search. It probably went something like,

"Can you step out of the car please? We'd like to search your vehicle. Ok?"

"No, it's not ok."

"Well I don't care. I'm searching it anyway." To partner: "I heard him give permission. Did you?"

"Yep. I heard him give permission. Have at it."

"Oh look, drugs!"
 
WTFDYW [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 5:16:18 PM  

arcgear: WTFDYW: Just hang the motherfarker.

Easy to share those sentiments after reading such a dogshiat comment.


It's easy to share when Idrtfa. I may do that later.
 
Z-clipped  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 5:20:13 PM  

NASAM: Why the F would you ever give the cops permission to search your car?  ESPECIALLY if you have drugs.


You wouldn't. But if the cop claims you did and there's no video...
 
2018-01-19 7:25:12 PM  

Diogenes: Is his nickname D-Money, Smoothie, or Shifty?


No, I think "clean-cut" is his street name and describes his product.  You know, brand matters.
 
WTFDYW [TotalFark]  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 7:41:21 PM  

WTFDYW: arcgear: WTFDYW: Just hang the motherfarker.

Easy to share those sentiments after reading such a dogshiat comment.

It's easy to share when Idrtfa. I may do that later.


Ok. I had time to RTFA. I retract my earlier statement. TFA sucked so bad, I don't have a statement about this.
 
2018-01-19 8:11:10 PM  

AugieDoggyDaddy: Super Chronic: What are the odds someone with the exact same hair length and beard, but a darker skin tone, would ever be described as "clean cut"?

/folks, don't ever authorize the cops to search your car

Better to never roll dirty and not transport felony amounts of heroin.   I've ever be asked to search on the few traffic stops I've had.  If the cops ask to search and you say NO, do they just shrug and say ok, never mind?  Or are they more likely to detain you and get a warrant and a dog?
(Middle age white guy)


I guess it depends on the situation. The news guy on the morning show I listen to (a longhair in SE Nebraska a decade ago)  has a story about a cop giving him a 10 minute hard sell on searching his car, only to eventually just give up and send him on his way with a minor ticket, so it can happen. I guess if you do have something in your car you might as well make them work for it, is the moral of the story.
 
arcgear  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2018-01-19 9:11:43 PM  

WTFDYW: WTFDYW: arcgear: WTFDYW: Just hang the motherfarker.

Easy to share those sentiments after reading such a dogshiat comment.

It's easy to share when Idrtfa. I may do that later.

Ok. I had time to RTFA. I retract my earlier statement. TFA sucked so bad, I don't have a statement about this.


Didn't intend to be crappy to you on a personal level, man.  The comment area on articles reporting alleged crimes are riddled with fascist cretins demanding immediate blood and execution for those brought in on charges; it's not befitting of a first world society.  It's quite vile considering that it's a regular occurrence.

But, this is exactly why i perfer fark for reading opinions and making comments: people are very decent like this, and most have discretion in the things they consider and write.  Seldom does it ever happen elsewhere.

/Try finding any human dignity below yahoo news.
 
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