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(Washington Post) Video Sometimes we get what we deserve: Global Warming is going to kill off all the coffee trees   (washingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Video, United States, favorite beverage, English-language films, climate change, sex trafficking sweep, News issues correction, Richard Spencer, Florida  
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2962 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Oct 2017 at 11:12 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Copy Link



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DubyaHater  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (41)  
2017-10-21 8:59:45 PM  
That's fine. I'll just start drinking Starbucks
 
Fox10456  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (6)  
2017-10-21 11:13:45 PM  
Will all the natural ingredients in my energy drinks be ok?
 
2017-10-21 11:14:31 PM  
As long as it doesn't kill the beer trees, I am good.
 
2017-10-21 11:15:49 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
8 inches [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (6)  
2017-10-21 11:16:02 PM  
We're flying without a navigational system and can't seem to change course.

/Also, we're out of coffee.
 
Kuoxasar  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (18)  
2017-10-21 11:21:19 PM  
As long as there's plenty of covfefe, we
 
2017-10-21 11:23:52 PM  
Because of course there wouldn't be completely different regions that became suitable for them.
 
2017-10-21 11:23:58 PM  
Maybe they will concoct a pure caffeine induction system as a result.  Can always drink tea for flavor, but it doesn't give the humanizing kick.
 
2017-10-21 11:25:28 PM  
I don't have time to watch a video of a tree die.
 
Delta1212  
Smartest (8)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-21 11:25:36 PM  
Don't like coffee. Don't drink it. This is fine.
 
2017-10-21 11:26:52 PM  

Kuoxasar: As long as there's plenty of covfefe, we


I have started refering to my morning cup as covfefe. Because everything before it that comes out of my mouth is gibberish.
 
kayanlau  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (2)  
2017-10-21 11:31:01 PM  
Tea stocks suddenly sees a rise in demand.
 
Soup4Bonnie  
Smartest (13)   Funniest (7)  
2017-10-21 11:31:02 PM  

Delta1212: Don't like coffee. Don't drink it. This is fine.


I hate you.
 
Mock26  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (5)  
2017-10-21 11:33:07 PM  
Good thing I have been stock piling coffee for about 5 minutes now.  I will be all set for the future.
 
Garaba  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (7)  
2017-10-21 11:33:41 PM  

Duck_of_Doom: Kuoxasar: As long as there's plenty of covfefe, we

I have started refering to my morning cup as covfefe. Because everything before it that comes out of my mouth is gibberish.


We started using covfefe to reference when we add booze to coffee.

Also in other news we own allot of snek cups.
 
Boo_Guy  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (4)  
2017-10-21 11:35:06 PM  
Well then I'll just drink something else like cappuccino or espresso or a latte or cafe au lait!
 
2017-10-21 11:37:47 PM  

secondpsych: I don't have time to watch a video of a tree die.


brainpickings.orgView Full Size


You could read the book.   Okay, it's getting dusty in here with me just thinking about it.
 
DarkVader  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2017-10-21 11:41:59 PM  
Eh, I occasionally like a bit of coffee with my cream and sugar, but I won't miss it that much.
 
2017-10-21 11:43:31 PM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2017-10-21 11:46:34 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
fugeeface  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-21 11:47:56 PM  

Delta1212: Don't like coffee. Don't drink it. This is fine.


More for us.  This is very fine.
 
mikaloyd [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (3)  
2017-10-21 11:48:28 PM  
Coffee is beans not trees
 
2017-10-21 11:48:33 PM  
Red Bull no mo?
 
WTP 2  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2017-10-21 11:50:10 PM  
global warming is being brought to you by the fine folks at coca cola.
 
mr_larry  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-21 11:50:14 PM  
This video is nothing but fearmongering. If coffee becomes scarce, capitalism will take over and it will be grown in greenhouses if need be. But that isn't likely to happen.
You know what the biggest threat is to coffee trees? Coffee orchards are getting ripped out to grow cocoa leaves for cocaine. That is what you should really be concerned about.
 
Delta1212  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (11)  
2017-10-21 11:51:44 PM  

mr_larry: This video is nothing but fearmongering. If coffee becomes scarce, capitalism will take over and it will be grown in greenhouses if need be. But that isn't likely to happen.
You know what the biggest threat is to coffee trees? Coffee orchards are getting ripped out to grow cocoa leaves for cocaine. That is what you should really be concerned about.


Man, no wonder chocolate is so addictive.
 
MightyPez  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-21 11:52:11 PM  
Chocolate too.

Enjoy!
 
2017-10-21 11:52:49 PM  
This song seems to describe what will happen to most farkers(Broadway knows all):
How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (Coffee Break)
Youtube CIX_yZAkblI
 
2017-10-21 11:58:12 PM  
None of you are panicked to the level I would like to see.
 
adj_m  
Smartest (3)   Funniest (1)  
2017-10-22 12:00:18 AM  
*twitch*

Eh, coffee won't go extict, it will just get a lot more expensive.

And if i'm being honest here, coffee already knows what I am, at this point it's just negotiating the price.
 
2017-10-22 12:03:27 AM  
If it's only the coffea arabica species that's in trouble, Farmers can just use another. While it isn't as well known as the two mentioned in the video, coffea libericais known to grow in the wild, and isn't as vulnerable to leaf rust.
 
2017-10-22 12:03:37 AM  

8 inches: We're flying without a navigational system and can't seem to change course.

/Also, we're out of coffee.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2017-10-22 12:04:54 AM  

mr_larry: This video is nothing but fearmongering. If coffee becomes scarce, capitalism will take over and it will be grown in greenhouses if need be. But that isn't likely to happen.
You know what the biggest threat is to coffee trees? Coffee orchards are getting ripped out to grow cocoa leaves for cocaine. That is what you should really be concerned about.


You know how I know you do not know jack about coffee or cocaine?

Coffee needs cool weather to grow.

I have spent half of my life between my families town in Colombia and the US.  30 years ago it was chilly as fark, perfect for growing coffee, now it is warm as hell, and traditional coffee farms are suffering.

Coffee farms are either wholly family run and owned, or kept by sharecroppers.   They are monitored constantly because of they need precise soil conditions and weather.  And the government and the Coffee Association.

The cocaine farmers are in clandestine parts of the country that are hard to get too, no where near the coffee the regions.
 
2017-10-22 12:05:04 AM  

mr_larry: This video is nothing but fearmongering. If coffee becomes scarce, capitalism will take over and it will be grown in greenhouses if need be. But that isn't likely to happen.
You know what the biggest threat is to coffee trees? Coffee orchards are getting ripped out to grow cocoa leaves for cocaine. That is what you should really be concerned about.


i think we can make this work...

/Hate coffee
 
SpeedyBB  
Smartest (5)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-22 12:05:32 AM  

mr_larry: This video is nothing but fearmongering. If coffee becomes scarce, capitalism will take over and it will be grown in greenhouses if need be. But that isn't likely to happen.
You know what the biggest threat is to coffee trees? Coffee orchards are getting ripped out to grow cocoa leaves for cocaine. That is what you should really be concerned about.


Errrp - are we talking about cacao beans (from which through a nasty slimy process that you do not need to know about, chocolate is produced) or coca plant leaves (chewed for a mild buzz, refined for a rather sharper hit)? In either case it's not 'cocoa leaves.' jeez.
 
2017-10-22 12:07:45 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: secondpsych: I don't have time to watch a video of a tree die.

[www.brainpickings.org image 442x648]

You could read the book.   Okay, it's getting dusty in here with me just thinking about it.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2017-10-22 12:09:21 AM  
Canada is going to become the breadbasket of the world. Suck it, USA!
 
2017-10-22 12:10:51 AM  

cyberspacedout: If it's only the coffea arabica species that's in trouble, Farmers can just use another. While it isn't as well known as the two mentioned in the video, coffea libericais known to grow in the wild, and isn't as vulnerable to leaf rust.


It is not as vulnerable to leave rust, but it needs an assload of fertlizer to make it grow well, and Arabica plants last for years when grown in the traditional methods and left alone.  Their root systems also keep the soil on the mountain.

The other, is more of a slash and burn crop that has destroyed a lot of the mountains in Colombia because there is nothing for the soil to hold on to now.
 
Mock26  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2017-10-22 12:11:15 AM  
Big Yellow Taxi - Joni Mitchell - Cartoon - Sonny and Cher
Youtube bqFCoPtCX44
 
jwookie  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2017-10-22 12:11:23 AM  

mr_larry: This video is nothing but fearmongering. If coffee becomes scarce, capitalism will take over and it will be grown in greenhouses if need be. But that isn't likely to happen.
You know what the biggest threat is to coffee trees? Coffee orchards are getting ripped out to grow cocoa leaves for cocaine. That is what you should really be concerned about.


I like cocaine
 
2017-10-22 12:21:05 AM  

mr_larry: This video is nothing but fearmongering. If coffee becomes scarce, capitalism will take over and it will be grown in greenhouses if need be. But that isn't likely to happen.
You know what the biggest threat is to coffee trees? Coffee orchards are getting ripped out to grow cocoa leaves for cocaine. That is what you should really be concerned about.


You're saying I need to substitute cocaine for coffee as part of my morning ritual?

OK, you're the boss. Who am I to argue?
 
Fissile  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (3)  
2017-10-22 12:25:54 AM  
So global warming is going to kill all the coffee trees?  Well, look at the bright side. Global warming is going to kill everyone in Florida.  Gotta take the bad along with the good.
 
2017-10-22 12:31:00 AM  

Pointy Tail of Satan: Canada is going to become the breadbasket of the world. Suck it, USA!


Unfortunately the glaciers did a bang up job putting a lot of soil south of North Dakota. Invest in fertilizer futures. Or land futures.
 
wax_on [BareFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-22 12:31:15 AM  

kayanlau: Tea stocks suddenly sees a rise in demand.


Apparently tea is suffering the same effect.
 
pedrop357  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-22 12:34:48 AM  
Even the most generous estimates seem to suggest that even the most unrealistic efforts (complete reduction of CO2 output to zero) would only stop the rise in temperature.  Everything else just slows the rise down a bit.

Nothing we do now or in the next 50 years will do much to save the coffee trees, or any of the other things that get talked about here, if the climate change estimates are correct
 
2017-10-22 12:35:55 AM  
Lesson in human nature.

problem:  Human activity is killing stuff.  Do you...

a) adjust the human activity to not be so destructive.
b) genetically modify things so they can withstand the wasteland we are creating
 
mr_larry  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2017-10-22 12:36:53 AM  

jwookie: mr_larry: This video is nothing but fearmongering. If coffee becomes scarce, capitalism will take over and it will be grown in greenhouses if need be. But that isn't likely to happen.
You know what the biggest threat is to coffee trees? Coffee orchards are getting ripped out to grow cocoa leaves for cocaine. That is what you should really be concerned about.

I like cocaine


I loved that shiat in my 20s and 30s. Gave it all up when I hit about 38 years old. I'm over 50 now.
 
2017-10-22 12:37:41 AM  

Fissile: So global warming is going to kill all the coffee trees?  Well, look at the bright side. Global warming is going to kill everyone in Florida.  Gotta take the bad along with the good.


Long after the droughts and fires have killed everything in California.  So double bonus.
 
mr_larry  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2017-10-22 12:40:16 AM  

theflatline: mr_larry: This video is nothing but fearmongering. If coffee becomes scarce, capitalism will take over and it will be grown in greenhouses if need be. But that isn't likely to happen.
You know what the biggest threat is to coffee trees? Coffee orchards are getting ripped out to grow cocoa leaves for cocaine. That is what you should really be concerned about.

You know how I know you do not know jack about coffee or cocaine?

Coffee needs cool weather to grow.

I have spent half of my life between my families town in Colombia and the US.  30 years ago it was chilly as fark, perfect for growing coffee, now it is warm as hell, and traditional coffee farms are suffering.

Coffee farms are either wholly family run and owned, or kept by sharecroppers.   They are monitored constantly because of they need precise soil conditions and weather.  And the government and the Coffee Association.

The cocaine farmers are in clandestine parts of the country that are hard to get too, no where near the coffee the regions.


Coca replacing coffee
 
2017-10-22 12:44:27 AM  

mr_larry: theflatline: mr_larry: This video is nothing but fearmongering. If coffee becomes scarce, capitalism will take over and it will be grown in greenhouses if need be. But that isn't likely to happen.
You know what the biggest threat is to coffee trees? Coffee orchards are getting ripped out to grow cocoa leaves for cocaine. That is what you should really be concerned about.

You know how I know you do not know jack about coffee or cocaine?

Coffee needs cool weather to grow.

I have spent half of my life between my families town in Colombia and the US.  30 years ago it was chilly as fark, perfect for growing coffee, now it is warm as hell, and traditional coffee farms are suffering.

Coffee farms are either wholly family run and owned, or kept by sharecroppers.   They are monitored constantly because of they need precise soil conditions and weather.  And the government and the Coffee Association.

The cocaine farmers are in clandestine parts of the country that are hard to get too, no where near the coffee the regions.

Coca replacing coffee


Nice an article from 2001...

Which it states "The switch is occurring mostly on the remote edges of the country's coffee heartland, where there is little state presence."
 
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