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(SFGate)   Scissors cut paper, paper covers rock, rock foils car thieves   (sfgate.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Theft, chip bag, potato chip bag, Rohnert Park car, Park car wash, Concord Police Department, English-language films, Crime  
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4256 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Oct 2017 at 6:56 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Copy Link



41 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2017-10-21 5:58:28 PM  
I think I speak for everyone when I ask, how the hell did he do that?
 
2017-10-21 6:07:09 PM  

cyberspacedout: I think I speak for everyone when I ask, how the hell did he do that who the fark would steal a Ford Fiesta?


FTFY

/Full disclosure, I drive a Fiesta
//I love it
///42 MPG
 
2017-10-21 6:18:05 PM  
How do car thieves defeat scissors?
 
phlegmmo [TotalFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2017-10-21 6:24:24 PM  

King Something: How do car thieves defeat scissors?


Car thieves dull scissors.
 
uncleacid [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (4)  
2017-10-21 6:28:25 PM  
Now would be the time to rotate the tires.
 
2017-10-21 7:03:08 PM  
lolhome.comView Full Size
 
kdawg7736 [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-21 7:04:25 PM  
Those thieves were as dumb as a box of rocks.
 
aremmes  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (3)  
2017-10-21 7:05:05 PM  
samkass.comView Full Size
 
2017-10-21 7:28:17 PM  

cyberspacedout: I think I speak for everyone when I ask, how the hell did he do that?


Cloud busting.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Delta1212  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (2)  
2017-10-21 7:34:29 PM  
What a car-thief-foiling Rock might look like:

static2.comicvine.comView Full Size
 
2017-10-21 7:37:24 PM  
Was wondering how they had 18 pictures of a car on a rock. Turns out they don't. They have 2 pictures of that and 15 "weird crime" pictures worthy of Fark.
 
good_2_go  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-21 8:07:22 PM  

Delta1212: What a car-thief-foiling Rock might look like:

[static2.comicvine.com image 850x1275]


He even had his own day
 
2017-10-21 8:08:24 PM  
FTFA: The owner got their car back

Journalism major knows English real good.
 
Percise1  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-21 8:09:21 PM  

HedlessChickn: cyberspacedout: I think I speak for everyone when I ask, how the hell did he do that who the fark would steal a Ford Fiesta?

FTFY

/Full disclosure, I drive a Fiesta
//I love it
///42 MPG


While econo-POSs certainly have their place, if your criteria as a car thief is MPG, you are probably on the wrong career path...
 
2017-10-21 8:25:06 PM  

Percise1: HedlessChickn: cyberspacedout: I think I speak for everyone when I ask, how the hell did he do that who the fark would steal a Ford Fiesta?

FTFY

/Full disclosure, I drive a Fiesta
//I love it
///42 MPG

While econo-POSs certainly have their place, if your criteria as a car thief is MPG, you are probably on the wrong career path...


Well you don't want to have to steal gas too.
 
Spermbot  
Smartest (1)   Funniest (1)  
2017-10-21 8:28:20 PM  

Terrapin Bound: FTFA: The owner got their car back

Journalism major knows English real good.


This is now AP-approved style for instances when the writer doesn't know the gender of the person being written about.  The move came due to consideration for folks who consider themselves of non-binary gender or gender-fluid.
 
Spermbot  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (1)  
2017-10-21 8:29:25 PM  
The cops in TFA wrote a better headline on FB.
 
limboslam  
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2017-10-21 8:45:10 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
Delta1212  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-21 10:02:33 PM  

Terrapin Bound: FTFA: The owner got their car back

Journalism major knows English real good.


I fail to see anything wrong with that sentence.
 
2017-10-21 10:03:18 PM  

Spermbot: Terrapin Bound: FTFA: The owner got their car back

Journalism major knows English real good.

This is now AP-approved style for instances when the writer doesn't know the gender of the person being written about.  The move came due to consideration for folks who consider themselves of non-binary gender or gender-fluid.


Unacceptable.

Acceptable: The car was returned to its owner.
 
2017-10-21 10:22:50 PM  

Delta1212: Terrapin Bound: FTFA: The owner got their car back

Journalism major knows English real good.

I fail to see anything wrong with that sentence.


The word "owner" is singular, while "their" is plural. If the author wanted to avoid identifying the owner as male or female, there are ways of doing that without making it look like he slept through 7th grade English class.
 
Delta1212  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-21 10:47:57 PM  

cyberspacedout: Delta1212: Terrapin Bound: FTFA: The owner got their car back

Journalism major knows English real good.

I fail to see anything wrong with that sentence.

The word "owner" is singular, while "their" is plural. If the author wanted to avoid identifying the owner as male or female, there are ways of doing that without making it look like he slept through 7th grade English class.


Singular they is a thing and has been for hundreds of years.

Not everything you learn in 7th grade is true.
 
2017-10-21 10:48:52 PM  

Percise1: HedlessChickn: cyberspacedout: I think I speak for everyone when I ask, how the hell did he do that who the fark would steal a Ford Fiesta?

FTFY

/Full disclosure, I drive a Fiesta
//I love it
///42 MPG

While econo-POSs certainly have their place, if your criteria as a car thief is MPG, you are probably on the wrong career path...


But if you're 14 and knew where your neighbor left thier keys, one car's as good as another. Hence getting stuck on a rock
 
2017-10-21 11:02:28 PM  

Delta1212: cyberspacedout: Delta1212: Terrapin Bound: FTFA: The owner got their car back

Journalism major knows English real good.

I fail to see anything wrong with that sentence.

The word "owner" is singular, while "their" is plural. If the author wanted to avoid identifying the owner as male or female, there are ways of doing that without making it look like he slept through 7th grade English class.

Singular they is a thing and has been for hundreds of years.

Not everything you learn in 7th grade is true.


No, it hasn't. Trying to retconn English grammar doesn't make it so. "He" was dropped in favor of "they" in my lifetime. I'm old enough to remember the transition, and the English teachers I had who resisted the change.
 
Delta1212  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-21 11:22:28 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: Delta1212: cyberspacedout: Delta1212: Terrapin Bound: FTFA: The owner got their car back

Journalism major knows English real good.

I fail to see anything wrong with that sentence.

The word "owner" is singular, while "their" is plural. If the author wanted to avoid identifying the owner as male or female, there are ways of doing that without making it look like he slept through 7th grade English class.

Singular they is a thing and has been for hundreds of years.

Not everything you learn in 7th grade is true.

No, it hasn't. Trying to retconn English grammar doesn't make it so. "He" was dropped in favor of "they" in my lifetime. I'm old enough to remember the transition, and the English teachers I had who resisted the change.


Singular they has been around since the 1300s but was pushed out of favor by grammarians in the 1800s in favor of generic he. That is now falling back out of favor and singular they is on the upswing again.
 
2017-10-22 12:01:24 AM  
The owner got their car back.

cyberspacedout: The word "owner" is singular, while "their" is plural.

Richard Saunders: Acceptable: The car was returned to its owner.


Standards. There is a place for them. That concluding sentence in TFA is one of them.

Spermbot: This is now AP-approved style for instances when the writer doesn't know the gender of the person being written about.  The move came due to consideration for folks who consider themselves of non-binary gender or gender-fluid.


And it's PC bullshiat, as is calling men "she" in consideration of a self declaration that is inconsistent with reality.
 
Delta1212  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-22 12:10:56 AM  

Terrapin Bound: The owner got their car back.

cyberspacedout: The word "owner" is singular, while "their" is plural.
Richard Saunders: Acceptable: The car was returned to its owner.

Standards. There is a place for them. That concluding sentence in TFA is one of them.

Spermbot: This is now AP-approved style for instances when the writer doesn't know the gender of the person being written about.  The move came due to consideration for folks who consider themselves of non-binary gender or gender-fluid.

And it's PC bullshiat, as is calling men "she" in consideration of a self declaration that is inconsistent with reality.


Generic he and "he or she" are both far more unwieldy than singular they, and we already have another pronoun in English that migrated to cover both singular and plural situations with nor problem as far as the number of the antecedent goes.

The resistance to using they the way most people have used it in regular speech for generations anyway is frankly stupid.
 
Delta1212  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-22 12:12:38 AM  
And I thought it was stupid even during my pedantic prescriptivist phase back in, amusingly, 7th grade.

Language is all arbitrary convention anyway. There is literally no good argument against singular they.
 
2017-10-22 12:26:04 AM  

Delta1212: And I thought it was stupid even during my pedantic prescriptivist phase back in, amusingly, 7th grade.

Language is all arbitrary convention anyway. There is literally no good argument against singular they.


Let me ax you a question.  Is your gender as fluid as your grammar?

/lol, jk. Not really trying to take a little grammatical quirk that far.  If singular / plural consistency dies with my generation, so be it.
 
2017-10-22 12:31:39 AM  
blackbluegold.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
 
Delta1212  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-22 12:43:36 AM  

Terrapin Bound: Delta1212: And I thought it was stupid even during my pedantic prescriptivist phase back in, amusingly, 7th grade.

Language is all arbitrary convention anyway. There is literally no good argument against singular they.

Let me ax you a question.  Is your gender as fluid as your grammar?

/lol, jk. Not really trying to take a little grammatical quirk that far.  If singular / plural consistency dies with my generation, so be it.


Thing is, though, it's not the death of singular/plural consistency any more than the existence of you(singular)/you(plural) both conjugated in the same way is a blow against it.

It's grammatically a separate gender neutral pronoun that happens to be the same as the gender neutral plural pronoun. It's no more a problem to say that the owner got their car back than it is for me to say that I am responding to your post instead of thine post. (As 'you' is derived from the old second person plural as opposed to second person singular thou).
 
CoysOdie  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-22 1:08:20 AM  
The stolen automobile was returned to the owner.
Minus the rock.
Gonna need that undercarriage looked at.
 
Percise1  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-22 1:21:02 AM  

wildcardjack: Percise1: HedlessChickn: cyberspacedout: I think I speak for everyone when I ask, how the hell did he do that who the fark would steal a Ford Fiesta?

FTFY

/Full disclosure, I drive a Fiesta
//I love it
///42 MPG

While econo-POSs certainly have their place, if your criteria as a car thief is MPG, you are probably on the wrong career path...

But if you're 14 and knew where your neighbor left thier keys, one car's as good as another. Hence getting stuck on a rock


I guess, but I can honestly say it never would have occurred to me in the first place, other than to make sure they kept their keys safe.  Not sure what that has to do with rocks though...

fusillade762: Percise1: HedlessChickn: cyberspacedout: I think I speak for everyone when I ask, how the hell did he do that who the fark would steal a Ford Fiesta?

FTFY

/Full disclosure, I drive a Fiesta
//I love it
///42 MPG

While econo-POSs certainly have their place, if your criteria as a car thief is MPG, you are probably on the wrong career path...

Well you don't want to have to steal gas too.


Good point, and if it is anything like the above statement, yeah, I can see them only having $7 for gas...
Still, a farking Ford Fiesta? Were there no Honda Fits or Nissan Versas available?

/wife has a Matrix...
/great car, just not for rock climbing
 
2017-10-22 2:12:33 AM  

Percise1: Still, a farking Ford Fiesta? Were there no Honda Fits or Nissan Versas available?


I considered buying a Honda Fit, back when gas was well over $4 per gallon. Figured it would be even better on gas than a Civic. After all, it's smaller and lighter, with a smaller engine!

Fit: 33/40 MPG
Civic: 32/42 MPG

Yeah, the Fit actually gets slightly less MPG overall, despite having 130 HP and weighing several hundred pounds less than the 158 HP Civic. The only advantage the Fit has is a lower sticker price. And of course, it's smaller so it can fit in tight spaces, if that's a selling point for you.
 
2017-10-22 3:05:06 AM  
Charlie Brown's gonna need a bigger trick-or-treat bag.
 
morg  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-22 9:06:36 AM  
Rock beats pretty much everything.
 
Spermbot  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-22 12:03:54 PM  

Terrapin Bound: The owner got their car back.

cyberspacedout: The word "owner" is singular, while "their" is plural.
Richard Saunders: Acceptable: The car was returned to its owner.

Standards. There is a place for them. That concluding sentence in TFA is one of them.

Spermbot: This is now AP-approved style for instances when the writer doesn't know the gender of the person being written about.  The move came due to consideration for folks who consider themselves of non-binary gender or gender-fluid.

And it's PC bullshiat, as is calling men "she" in consideration of a self declaration that is inconsistent with reality.


If, by PC, you mean treating people considerately, yes it is.
 
Spermbot  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-22 3:34:18 PM  

Richard Saunders: Spermbot: Terrapin Bound: FTFA: The owner got their car back

Journalism major knows English real good.

This is now AP-approved style for instances when the writer doesn't know the gender of the person being written about.  The move came due to consideration for folks who consider themselves of non-binary gender or gender-fluid.

Unacceptable.

Acceptable: The car was returned to its owner.


Are you on the AP style board? If not, then you don't get a vote in the matter.
 
2017-10-22 5:19:36 PM  

Spermbot: Terrapin Bound: The owner got their car back.

cyberspacedout: The word "owner" is singular, while "their" is plural.
Richard Saunders: Acceptable: The car was returned to its owner.

Standards. There is a place for them. That concluding sentence in TFA is one of them.

Spermbot: This is now AP-approved style for instances when the writer doesn't know the gender of the person being written about.  The move came due to consideration for folks who consider themselves of non-binary gender or gender-fluid.

And it's PC bullshiat, as is calling men "she" in consideration of a self declaration that is inconsistent with reality.

If, by PC, you mean treating people considerately, yes it is.


Where's the consideration for those who are not detached from reality?
 
Spermbot  
Smartest (0)   Funniest (0)  
2017-10-23 12:42:46 AM  

Terrapin Bound: Spermbot: Terrapin Bound: The owner got their car back.

cyberspacedout: The word "owner" is singular, while "their" is plural.
Richard Saunders: Acceptable: The car was returned to its owner.

Standards. There is a place for them. That concluding sentence in TFA is one of them.

Spermbot: This is now AP-approved style for instances when the writer doesn't know the gender of the person being written about.  The move came due to consideration for folks who consider themselves of non-binary gender or gender-fluid.

And it's PC bullshiat, as is calling men "she" in consideration of a self declaration that is inconsistent with reality.

If, by PC, you mean treating people considerately, yes it is.

Where's the consideration for those who are not detached from reality?


In your case, consider joining the 21st century.
 
2017-10-23 2:02:20 AM  

Spermbot: n your case, consider joining the 21st century.


You've hurt my feelings. How inconsiderate of you.
 
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