FARK.com: (9702895) Fark-ready headline: Man 'tied his penis to shotgun and then shot himself in the head'

It's Not News, It's Fark

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

		Fark-ready headline: Man 'tied his penis to shotgun and then shot himself in the head' (metro.co.uk)		82
		More: Scary, Samaritans 24-hour helpline, Death, naked decomposing body, Infante Juan Manuel, Great British Bake, Murcia City, Samaritans branch, Samaritans website

• • •

5451 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Aug 2017 at 4:44 PM (6 years ago) | Favorite | share: Copy Link

82 Comments (+0 »)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

markie_farkie

Smartest (3) Funniest (13)

2017-08-18 4:01:37 PM

The man was allegedly found with his penis tied to a shotgun (not pictured) (Picture: Getty Images)

Thankfully!!

Precious Roy's Horse Dividers

Smartest (1) Funniest (37)

2017-08-18 4:03:04 PM

gopher321

Smartest (1) Funniest (7)

2017-08-18 4:03:04 PM

Saw VII: The Penising

bdub77

Smartest (0) Funniest (12)

2017-08-18 4:06:40 PM

There can pee only one!

AlwaysRightBoy

Smartest (0) Funniest (2)

2017-08-18 4:07:20 PM

Most people get stiff after they die. Most.

nekom

Smartest (10) Funniest (15)

2017-08-18 4:12:34 PM

naughtyrev: I have questions.

I do too, but I really don't want them answered.

Diogenes

Smartest (1) Funniest (33)

2017-08-18 4:13:04 PM

I bet you it was a pump action shotgun.

Barfmaker

Smartest (4) Funniest (24)

2017-08-18 4:15:05 PM

My dick will probably be the death of me too.

LiliVonShtupp

Smartest (2) Funniest (9)

2017-08-18 4:18:26 PM

You'll have to pry this gun from my cold dick.

abhorrent1

Smartest (0) Funniest (6)

2017-08-18 4:21:22 PM

Authorities found the unnamed man

What?

2xhelix

Smartest (1) Funniest (10)

2017-08-18 4:24:08 PM

Guess you could say that he really shot a load.

toraque

Smartest (0) Funniest (11)

2017-08-18 4:24:39 PM

Seems dangerous. You could end up going off half cocked.

fly_gal

Smartest (1) Funniest (4)

2017-08-18 4:25:44 PM

Police are currently investigating the man's death and they confirmed they were treating it as a suicide.

Shouldn't they stop investigating then?

Kevin72

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-08-18 4:25:59 PM

What's the point?

Markoff_Cheney

Smartest (2) Funniest (7)

2017-08-18 4:26:28 PM

real_headhoncho

Smartest (2) Funniest (8)

2017-08-18 4:28:47 PM

Someone must have got a Fark Bingo off of that headline.

Diogenes

Smartest (0) Funniest (3)

2017-08-18 4:29:04 PM

He's not one you'd want to blow in your face.

TWX

Smartest (4) Funniest (31)

2017-08-18 4:31:03 PM

abhorrent1: Authorities found the unnamed man

What?

His parent's weren't very creative.

hugram

Smartest (1) Funniest (2)

2017-08-18 4:31:33 PM

Typical guy... thinking with the wrong head.

MaudlinMutantMollusk

Smartest (0) Funniest (2)

2017-08-18 4:33:46 PM

o_0

Anastacya

Smartest (3) Funniest (7)

2017-08-18 4:35:24 PM

Well, don't some people say that a gun is an extension of your dick? I guess this guy just took that to its logical conclusion.

LowbrowDeluxe

Smartest (1) Funniest (6)

2017-08-18 4:41:37 PM

Tied...where? Was this like some kind of extreme straightedge thing with a string tied to his dick tied to the trigger and the TV set to play hardcore gay porn on loop?

NewportBarGuy

Smartest (0) Funniest (4)

2017-08-18 4:41:55 PM

I'm sorry... what?

This text is now purple

Smartest (4) Funniest (7)

2017-08-18 4:45:49 PM

If you can tie your dick to a gun, why are you shooting yourself?

\Was the water too cold?

MaudlinMutantMollusk

Smartest (2) Funniest (1)

2017-08-18 4:46:04 PM

Anastacya: Well, don't some people say that a gun is an extension of your dick? I guess this guy just took that to its logical conclusion.

Conclusion being the operative word

cretinbob

Smartest (1) Funniest (0)

2017-08-18 4:47:03 PM

that means two things

Mmmm_Hogfat

Smartest (4) Funniest (2)

2017-08-18 4:47:25 PM

Uuhhhh...which head?

slackananda

Smartest (0) Funniest (9)

2017-08-18 4:47:26 PM

Title of the TFA page starts with "Man in Murcia City...." I read that as 'Murica City and thought, "No way!"

dv-ous

Smartest (0) Funniest (1)

2017-08-18 4:47:38 PM

Well... that'd be weird.

proteus_b

Smartest (1) Funniest (1)

2017-08-18 4:49:33 PM

Massive blood loss ensures death.

Ponzholio

Smartest (4) Funniest (1)

2017-08-18 4:49:46 PM

I'm confused about the logistics of the whole thing.

Eagles409

Smartest (0) Funniest (2)

2017-08-18 4:49:55 PM

I get that he shot himself in the head, but why tie your "junk" to the gun? Unless he wanted to be famous for the way he died.... Mission accomplished!!

litespeed74

Smartest (1) Funniest (13)

2017-08-18 4:50:41 PM

Tie my penis to a shotgun?? I'm a fraid knot.

Mael99

Smartest (1) Funniest (2)

2017-08-18 4:54:00 PM

When they investigated further they apparently found his genitals tied to a shotgun that he had used to commit suicide.
The man's body will now undergo an autopsy at the Forensic Institute after being transferred from the apartment in Infante Juan Manuel.
Police are currently investigating the man's death and they confirmed they were treating it as a suicide.

If Courtney Love had just thought outside the box, nobody would have questioned what happened...

bughunter

Smartest (3) Funniest (0)

2017-08-18 4:56:10 PM

It's possible -- not likely but concievable -- that it was an execution staged as a suicide, and that the pose was meant to make a point, either to the deceased or to his associates.

What the point may be, I cannot fathom.

Did he at some point put his penis someplace it didn't belong?

MaudlinMutantMollusk

Smartest (2) Funniest (8)

2017-08-18 4:57:06 PM

Mael99: When they investigated further they apparently found his genitals tied to a shotgun that he had used to commit suicide.
The man's body will now undergo an autopsy at the Forensic Institute after being transferred from the apartment in Infante Juan Manuel.
Police are currently investigating the man's death and they confirmed they were treating it as a suicide.

If Courtney Love had just thought outside the box, nobody would have questioned what happened...

"Outside the box" was the hole problem

blorpen

Smartest (1) Funniest (5)

2017-08-18 4:57:31 PM

abhorrent1: Authorities found the unnamed man

What?

cowgirl toffee

Smartest (0) Funniest (13)

2017-08-18 4:59:12 PM

demaL-demaL-yeH

Smartest (1) Funniest (6)

2017-08-18 4:59:41 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Mael99: When they investigated further they apparently found his genitals tied to a shotgun that he had used to commit suicide.
The man's body will now undergo an autopsy at the Forensic Institute after being transferred from the apartment in Infante Juan Manuel.
Police are currently investigating the man's death and they confirmed they were treating it as a suicide.

If Courtney Love had just thought outside the box, nobody would have questioned what happened...

"Outside the box" was the hole problem

Those are horrible puns, and you should feel proud of yourselves.

cowgirl toffee

Smartest (0) Funniest (3)

2017-08-18 5:00:36 PM

Cocked AND loaded.

OOF

Smartest (3) Funniest (5)

2017-08-18 5:05:08 PM

cowgirl toffee

Smartest (1) Funniest (19)

2017-08-18 5:06:31 PM

Just because we're talking about penis and the things it can do...

Julius Pleaseher

Smartest (1) Funniest (0)

2017-08-18 5:07:16 PM

bughunter: It's possible -- not likely but concievable -- that it was an execution staged as a suicide, and that the pose was meant to make a point, either to the deceased or to his associates.

What the point may be, I cannot fathom.

Did he at some point put his penis someplace it didn't belong?

This. Considering the bizarre circumstances, I'm not sure why murder is immediately being ruled out.

secondpsych

Smartest (0) Funniest (14)

2017-08-18 5:09:21 PM

I don't know why, but this,

Thosw

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-08-18 5:09:54 PM

I've seen a printed cartoon like this.

fark'emfeed'emfish

Smartest (1) Funniest (2)

2017-08-18 5:10:27 PM

Utltimate "not-gay" challenge?

TheOther

Smartest (0) Funniest (2)

2017-08-18 5:11:02 PM

Mmmm_Hogfat: Uuhhhh...which head?

and with which did he shoot himself in the head??

fragMasterFlash

Smartest (0) Funniest (2)

2017-08-18 5:11:31 PM

How fat do you have to be that you cannot pull the trigger with your toe and have to tie it to your junk instead?

uber humper

Smartest (0) Funniest (2)

2017-08-18 5:18:58 PM

He won't be doing that again.

secondpsych

Smartest (1) Funniest (9)

2017-08-18 5:23:26 PM

Ok. Talk about a one-pump chump...

Displayed 50 of 82 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Redisplay/refresh comments

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Report

Want the rest of the Farking story? Try

More threads. More community. More Farking.

learn more | sign up

Report

Support Fark

learn more

Headlines of the Month
Fark NotNewsletter

Report

Fark.com

Top Commented

Top Commented ▼

Top Commented
Top Clicked
Top Voted
My Recent Commented
Recent Mentions

Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.
When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.
Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.
You need to create an account to submit links or post comments.
Click here to submit a link.