FARK.com: (9532208) Chicken lays egg bigger than an apple and heavier than a major league baseball. "When I was in there it seemed like one chicken was all light and happy" and possibly smoking a cigarette

It's Not News, It's Fark

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

		Chicken lays egg bigger than an apple and heavier than a major league baseball. "When I was in there it seemed like one chicken was all light and happy" and possibly smoking a cigarette (cbc.ca)		61
		More: Cool, Chicken, egg, heaviest chicken egg, major league baseball, Goslow, egg quality, World Record title, submission guidelines

• • •

6306 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Mar 2017 at 2:14 PM (7 years ago) | Favorite | share: Copy Link

61 Comments (+0 »)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

8 inches

Smartest (0) Funniest (1)

2017-03-28 1:01:38 PM

Which came first?

Ambivalence

Smartest (2) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 1:08:56 PM

Uh...no. That's like the equivalent of a woman giving birth to a 15lb baby. That chicken is NOT "light and happy" Relieved maybe, but she's been stretched way the hell out and it was not pleasant passing that shiat.

blatz514

Smartest (0) Funniest (8)

2017-03-28 1:27:41 PM

8 inches: Which came first?

gopher321

Smartest (1) Funniest (3)

2017-03-28 1:44:55 PM

Chicken - "MORPHINE. NOW."

LarryDan43

Smartest (2) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 2:18:56 PM

8 inches: Which came first?

Eggs came first by billions of years.

LawPD

Smartest (0) Funniest (3)

2017-03-28 2:19:45 PM

Ow! My Cloaca.

LewDux

Smartest (0) Funniest (20)

2017-03-28 2:20:34 PM

starlost

Smartest (0) Funniest (2)

2017-03-28 2:20:37 PM

someone offered me tongue once and i said no way am i going to eat something that came out of a cow's mouth.

NotThatGuyAgain

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 2:22:51 PM

I have a couple friends that have chickens for eggs. Huge eggs aren't particularly uncommon.

Loaf's Tray

Smartest (1) Funniest (11)

2017-03-28 2:25:26 PM

"I was looking for the one that didn't have any butt," he said.

"HEY JIMMY, GO CHECK ALL THE HENS' ASSES AND LEMME KNOW IF YOU FIND ONE WITH A BLOWN-OUT SNIZZ!"

Popular Opinion

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 2:26:30 PM

ouch

ChipNASA

Smartest (0) Funniest (5)

2017-03-28 2:27:59 PM

"You fark ONE chicken......."

catchow

Smartest (1) Funniest (2)

2017-03-28 2:28:14 PM

Will it hatch a Triceratops?

Tatertoot

Smartest (0) Funniest (3)

2017-03-28 2:30:14 PM

Ouch! I bet passing that big ol' egg didn't go over easy.

FeFiFoFark

Smartest (0) Funniest (3)

2017-03-28 2:32:27 PM

Tatertoot: Ouch! I bet passing that big ol' egg didn't go over easy.

Yeah, I'll bet her ass is fried!

ChipNASA

Smartest (0) Funniest (3)

2017-03-28 2:34:13 PM

ChipNASA

Smartest (0) Funniest (3)

2017-03-28 2:36:49 PM

Tatertoot

Smartest (0) Funniest (1)

2017-03-28 2:40:20 PM

FeFiFoFark: Tatertoot: Ouch! I bet passing that big ol' egg didn't go over easy.

Yeah, I'll bet her ass is fried!

And her wits are scrambled.

ChipNASA

Smartest (0) Funniest (9)

2017-03-28 2:40:23 PM

washington-babylon

Smartest (0) Funniest (3)

2017-03-28 2:40:45 PM

starlost: someone offered me tongue once and i said no way am i going to eat something that came out of a cow's mouth.

I've had buffalo tongue once. It wasn't half bad on a sandwich, and was extremely tender even if it was a bit greasy. I'll try most food at least once, unless it contains raw meat. If raw meat is involved, I tend to be afraid of the potential horrifying possibilities (link will make you laugh your ass off).

ChipNASA

Smartest (0) Funniest (5)

2017-03-28 2:41:36 PM

NotThatGuyAgain

Smartest (2) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 2:43:42 PM

My buddy's chicken laid this one a few weeks ago. The only thing surprising was they expected at least 3 yolks. It had two.

xxBirdMadGirlxx

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 2:43:59 PM

ChipNASA: [s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com image 736x552]

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot.

No, that's okay - I've been getting far too much sleep as it is. Really, it's cool.

KodosZardoz

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 2:56:28 PM

Now thatis the chicken of tomorrow.

Iggie

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 3:01:40 PM

Parks and Recreation - Season 6 bloopers - Chris Pratt's baby story

LewDux

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 3:01:44 PM

Kazumi Kurigami - Parco - Faye Dunaway Hard Boiled Egg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjSwFsPCeJ4

Salmon

Smartest (0) Funniest (2)

2017-03-28 3:07:45 PM

LewDux

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 3:09:45 PM

Ian Pooley "Balmes"

drjekel_mrhyde

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 3:16:04 PM

Not bad

JackieRabbit

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 3:16:59 PM

Looks just slightly larger than a jumbo egg to me. No big deal.

Mr. Shabooboo

Smartest (1) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 3:18:49 PM

washington-babylon: starlost: someone offered me tongue once and i said no way am i going to eat something that came out of a cow's mouth.

I've had buffalo tongue once. It wasn't half bad on a sandwich, and was extremely tender even if it was a bit greasy. I'll try most food at least once, unless it contains raw meat. If raw meat is involved, I tend to be afraid of the potential horrifying possibilities (link will make you laugh your ass off).

Cow tongue is GREAT if it's cooked a long long long time, then sliced up for sandwiches while it's still
warm..Mmmm.. My folks used to have it about once a year. I guess the people that like it should be
glad so many people don't, otherwise the price for them would be sky high.

bewareofchickens

Smartest (3) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 3:25:13 PM

Meh, sometimes chickens lay big eggs. Last week I had to put some olive oil in a chicken's vent to help her because she was egg bound. This isn't even the largest egg I've gotten.

ChipNASA

Smartest (0) Funniest (1)

2017-03-28 3:31:25 PM

bewareofchickens: Meh, sometimes chickens lay big eggs. Last week I had to put some olive oil in a chicken's vent to help her because she was egg bound. This isn't even the largest egg I've gotten. [img.fark.net image 425x566]

You have to oil up your finger and stick it up a chicken's ass??
/not a farmer
//They couldn't pay me enough.
//DEM CLAWZ

Slypork

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 3:32:02 PM

catchow: Will it hatch a Triceratops?

[i.gr-assets.com image 139x200]

Haven't thought of this book in ages!

Tatertoot: FeFiFoFark: Tatertoot: Ouch! I bet passing that big ol' egg didn't go over easy.

Yeah, I'll bet her ass is fried!

And her wits are scrambled.

Hope no one tries to poach that from him. He'd have to hire some hard boiled detective (can't just get some bantam weight) to find it and that would cost him his nest egg.

bewareofchickens

Smartest (0) Funniest (1)

2017-03-28 3:32:56 PM

ChipNASA: bewareofchickens: Meh, sometimes chickens lay big eggs. Last week I had to put some olive oil in a chicken's vent to help her because she was egg bound. This isn't even the largest egg I've gotten. [img.fark.net image 425x566]

[i.imgur.com image 636x636]

You have to oil up your finger and stick it up a chicken's ass??
/not a farmer
//They couldn't pay me enough.
//DEM CLAWZ

NO just drip it in with a a dropper!

/ you oil one chicken

Salmon

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 3:35:23 PM

LewDux: [iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/urQ53b2PTdU - 480x360]

Nice pick.

:)

washington-babylon

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 3:52:06 PM

Mr. Shabooboo: washington-babylon: starlost: someone offered me tongue once and i said no way am i going to eat something that came out of a cow's mouth.

I've had buffalo tongue once. It wasn't half bad on a sandwich, and was extremely tender even if it was a bit greasy. I'll try most food at least once, unless it contains raw meat. If raw meat is involved, I tend to be afraid of the potential horrifying possibilities (link will make you laugh your ass off).

Cow tongue is GREAT if it's cooked a long long long time, then sliced up for sandwiches while it's still
warm..Mmmm.. My folks used to have it about once a year. I guess the people that like it should be
glad so many people don't, otherwise the price for them would be sky high.

The buffalo tongue I had was slow cooked in a crock pot with various seasonings and veggies. And yes, I agree that the less they like it, the more I can have!

ChipNASA

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 3:54:46 PM

bewareofchickens: ChipNASA: bewareofchickens: Meh, sometimes chickens lay big eggs. Last week I had to put some olive oil in a chicken's vent to help her because she was egg bound. This isn't even the largest egg I've gotten. [img.fark.net image 425x566]

[i.imgur.com image 636x636]

You have to oil up your finger and stick it up a chicken's ass??
/not a farmer
//They couldn't pay me enough.
//DEM CLAWZ

NO just drip it in with a a dropper!

/ you oil one chicken

But why were you naked and how long did it take you to clean the oil off yourself and all those loose feathers??
/what, do you put their head between your legs and then hold their feet apart, upside down, and then hold the dropper in your mouth??
//just asking for a friend is all.
///that must be a real conversation piece to have on your resume'

OOF

Smartest (0) Funniest (1)

2017-03-28 4:07:48 PM

ChipNASA

Smartest (0) Funniest (1)

2017-03-28 4:20:21 PM

OOF: [img.fark.net image 400x268]

Quiverfull

Smartest (0) Funniest (1)

2017-03-28 4:34:41 PM

Was it drinking and smoking?

noazark

Smartest (0) Funniest (1)

2017-03-28 5:00:40 PM

"Well -- I heard that egg is gonna hatch into a GIANT CHICKEN..!"

Non Sequitur Man

Smartest (0) Funniest (5)

2017-03-28 5:14:18 PM

Percise1

Smartest (0) Funniest (1)

2017-03-28 5:20:22 PM

I do that too if I don't drink enough water...

ChipNASA

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 5:23:51 PM

Percise1: I do that too if I don't drink enough water...

I'm sure if you have that issue again, just send bewareofchickens an e-mail. I"m sure he/she's be more than happy to stop by with their olive oil dropper.

Percise1

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 5:26:33 PM

Umm... even the taco trucks have lengua, the real ones anyway. Common food south of the border, and it is even an old, traditional German (European?) dish. Far more people eat cow tongue than you think.
(haven't seen it in the store recently though)

Percise1

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 5:29:34 PM

ChipNASA: Percise1: I do that too if I don't drink enough water...

I'm sure if you have that issue again, just send bewareofchickens an e-mail. I"m sure he/she's be more than happy to stop by with their olive oil dropper.

Damn you, that almost launched chili relleno into my sinuses.
Thanks for the advice, but I hear he uses his finger, and I'm not into that. Besides, do you know where his finger has been?

WTFDYW

Smartest (1) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 5:40:03 PM

There's a chance that there is another entire egg inside of that. In my 35 years in the egg industry, I've only seen it once. To explain how it happens is a tldnr explanation. It is interesting though.

bewareofchickens

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 7:01:29 PM

Percise1: ChipNASA: Percise1: I do that too if I don't drink enough water...

I'm sure if you have that issue again, just send bewareofchickens an e-mail. I"m sure he/she's be more than happy to stop by with their olive oil dropper.

Damn you, that almost launched chili relleno into my sinuses.
Thanks for the advice, but I hear he uses his finger, and I'm not into that. Besides, do you know where his finger has been?

Her/ my finger had been up a chicken vent apparently.

/Guess what?
// Chicken button
/// fun fact chickens only have one hole

Percise1

Smartest (0) Funniest (0)

2017-03-28 7:04:17 PM

bewareofchickens: Percise1: ChipNASA: Percise1: I do that too if I don't drink enough water...

I'm sure if you have that issue again, just send bewareofchickens an e-mail. I"m sure he/she's be more than happy to stop by with their olive oil dropper.

Damn you, that almost launched chili relleno into my sinuses.
Thanks for the advice, but I hear he uses his finger, and I'm not into that. Besides, do you know where his finger has been?

Her/ my finger had been up a chicken vent apparently.

/Guess what?
// Chicken button
/// fun fact chickens only have one hole

My apologies 'mam, but I'm still not into that.

/I suspect that's not the only place
//venting
///cloaca

Displayed 50 of 61 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Redisplay/refresh comments

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Report

If you like these links, you'll love

Come check out what's behind the curtain.

learn more | sign up

Report

Support Fark

learn more

Headlines of the Month
Fark NotNewsletter

Report

Fark.com

Top Commented

Top Commented ▼

Top Commented
Top Clicked
Top Voted
My Recent Commented
Recent Mentions

Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.
When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.
Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.
You need to create an account to submit links or post comments.
Click here to submit a link.