I want to look and feel better, what changes can I make?
March 24, 2017 6:30 AM   Subscribe

I would like to know what changes I can make to look and feel better. I have two small children under 2, I am in my mid 30's ... I don't always feel 100% and I think I could feel better (obviously- I've just had 2 kids!) I want things that have a lot of bang for their buck... For example- daily light stretching or teeth whitening- neither take a lot of time but they do a lot to make me feel and look better. Sauna a couple times a week is a bigger time commitment but is VERY good for my skin and also helps me deal with stress. What other things can I do or changes can I make?

So basically- I feel like I used to be quite energetic and pretty cool... lots of traveling and friends but the last couple of years have been devoted to starting our family and I definitely don't feel energetic or particularly cool anymore. Pregnancy is really tough on me and I feel like crap the whole time and also I was on bedrest for significant portions of each pregnancy and I am very unfit. I gained about 60 pounds! We had a lot of stress during the last year or so my diet wasn't amazing and I was so tired... I didn't worry about weight loss until the last couple of months and have lost about 45 pounds. I think I am making great progress- but since I am on a roll I would love some more ideas of things that make you look or feel great. Here are the things I am doing now: get 6-8 hours of sleep each night, krill oil supplements, vitamins, cutting out bread, drinking water, avoiding sugar (and sugar crashes!), filing and moisturizing my feet, a good skincare regime for my specific issues under dermatologist guidance, facials, a good haircut every 8 weeks, highlights, getting rid of the old clothes I probably won't ever fit again, buying a few things each month that I can wear with my body right now in this weather, I have a few dresses I feel confident in and I can go on dates with my husband, I get time to myself, using my balance ball to strengthen the tiny muscles on my legs, dropping baby off at gym babysitting and sauna twice a week, I went on a solo trip for 2 days, practicing gratitude, eating much more oily fish and vegetables, going on walks (but I still feel seriously unfit- I will start exercising properly soon but wanted to wait until I was a little bit lighter) is there anything else I can do? I still feel a little frumpy and less energetic than I would like to be. Personal anecdotes of getting your personal wellness and identity back as a new mom very very welcome!
posted by catspajammies to Health & Fitness (17 answers total) 46 users marked this as a favorite
 
I have to say, getting a Birch Box subscription has made my life better in a small but significant way. I'm not sure what it is. It feels indulgent but it's not, I get to try out samples of awesome stuff (including teas and snacks, not just makeup and stuff!) and if I love something, I can purchase more of it. It's so fun getting that box every month.
posted by cooker girl at 6:39 AM on March 24, 2017 [4 favorites]


If you can do even simple bodyweight exercises, you will see a big jump in your muscle tone and will feel better. At my gym last year (and I want to do this again!) we did some challenges around that kind of thing - they were monthly/cumulative:

- 100 minutes of plank (~3 mins/day)
- 1000 pushups (~30 per day)
- 100 minutes of wall sit (~3 mins/day)
- 1000 squats (~30/day)

I noticed a lot of change just from that sustained effort and it feels good! Also if you keep it consistent you never have to do too much any one day and it all starts to feel easier as you go.
posted by Medieval Maven at 6:58 AM on March 24, 2017 [16 favorites]


Meditation. Ten minutes a day or so.

Yoga. Ties the meditation and light stretching together, and I always feel great afterward.

You probably ought to get a little more sleep.

You're already walking, so that's good. Just keep up with that. It's a good way to keep your kids involved.
posted by kevinbelt at 7:12 AM on March 24, 2017 [7 favorites]


My advice: stop eating sugar. I cut out sugar and after two weeks of feeling pretty rough, I lost about 15 lbs, my skin got clearer, I was less hungry, I had way more energy and I slept better. All of that was within about two months. It's definitely the best bang for buck that I've encountered!
posted by ukdanae at 7:13 AM on March 24, 2017 [4 favorites]


>I have two small children under 2

Sleep. 8 hours a night, if you can swing it, or get naps in where you can. Everything regenerates in sleep.
posted by cotton dress sock at 7:17 AM on March 24, 2017 [9 favorites]


I gave up alcohol for Lent and replaced it with drinking more water and I cannot believe how much better I feel.
posted by 4ster at 7:33 AM on March 24, 2017 [3 favorites]


stop eating sugar

This.

I was did a loose keto approach just for weight loss and realized once I got dialed in on reading labels that the key to the diet is called 'carbs', but it's really taking sugar out of the diet that has the impact.

I experienced the same things as above and was especially surprised by the improved sleep and energy/clarity.
posted by Reasonably Everything Happens at 7:38 AM on March 24, 2017 [4 favorites]


Good you're taking walks. Get outside!! I believe getting out in the sun a little every day helps with your body clock and provides vitamin D. Seems like I get a deeper more restful sleep after I've spent some time outside.
posted by PJMoore at 7:42 AM on March 24, 2017 [6 favorites]


Is there anything you like to do *just because* that has fell by the wayside? I felt better once I made time for the occasional fiction book again. It sounds like you're giving a lot of thought to your appearance, overall health. Is there anything on the emotional side that would be helpful?

Planning a tiny bit of travel or a break was a good mental break for me to get out of the craziness of the house -- e.g., staycation if you need a quick overnight with your husband, a short daytrip (but not stressful to plan or get there with little kids) like a botanic garden, etc.
posted by typecloud at 7:44 AM on March 24, 2017 [1 favorite]


ps. it sounds like you are doing a LOT. don't put too much pressure on yourself. My kids are 18 months and almost 5 and I am just now at place where getting back into exercising is a possibilty.
posted by typecloud at 7:46 AM on March 24, 2017 [14 favorites]


I took up pole classes a year ago. I'm a middle aged frump with multiple sclerosis and in the year I've been poling I've improved muscle tone, core strength, posture (I'm standing 3cms taller!), balance, stamina, confidence, etc.
The pole community is amazingly supportive and accepting.
As well as pole classses I'm doing regular support classes to improve strength, fitness & flexibility.
It's not cheap, but it it is life changing.
posted by goshling at 7:47 AM on March 24, 2017 [2 favorites]


ps. it sounds like you are doing a LOT. don't put too much pressure on yourself. My kids are 18 months and almost 5 and I am just now at place where getting back into exercising is a possibilty.

Yes, this please. I am trying to simplify and have less to do in all arenas of my life, but also working to find space for myself. It is difficult, and it does not have to happen all at once. I have actually started waking up at 4:15, working out hard from 5-6, and then rejoining the family for mornings, work, and more family time. At first I thought I would be exhausted (I was a 6 am riser) but I feel completely rejuvenated - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I try to go to bed early but of course that does not always happen - but knowing that I have that time for myself is great. But that's about it for me right now. It's my first step. And I am moving slowly. I have also acknowledged for myself (and am happy with the fact) that my life is different now and will always be different. I am a new person - and I am still trying to figure out who that person is.

I also have cut out most sugar, decreased my carb intake, and I really focus on eating more veggies, fruit, proteins (I am not paleo, though - through personal desire and reality - convenience trumps everything else when you have little ones - and that is ok for me.) Each day is a new day and a new opportunity to ground myself.

I also love the meditation/yoga recommendations. I have been listening to this yoga nidra at night to help me sleep and it has been amazing.

My next struggle is finding more time to read. I prefer real books to screens. This is a life-long journey - kids are with us to our end (if all works as it should) - and the tension between self-care and putting on our airmask first and caring for them, partners, family, friends, community, will always be there. Sprinting has led to my failure in the past to make everlasting change. Be gentle and loving to yourself when you can.
posted by anya32 at 9:08 AM on March 24, 2017 [6 favorites]


Every woman is different, but having sex with my partner regularly helps so much with this life stage.

I know I know, not the easiest with babies (I have a 20 month old) but it just makes me feel glowier, more connected, plus the hormones.. and it means we actually have to carve out some intentional time together. And focus on me :)

Of course, I agree not putting too much pressure on yourself is KEY - but it does help. Just cultivating time to receive and not having to be in "work" mode (with kids or work or whatever).
posted by Rocket26 at 1:00 PM on March 24, 2017 [1 favorite]


Take really good care of your teeth. Floss every morning, then brush and mouthwash. Get some crest white strips.

Target has a variety pack of like 7 mini weleda body oils for $15. Switch to showering at night and use oil after the shower. Sooo nice and relaxing.
posted by pintapicasso at 3:42 PM on March 24, 2017


I support you in your goals. The best tip I have is yoga.

But as a former editor for women's magazines, I beg you to consider where the idea that a mum of two kids under 2 should be feeling and looking the same as a woman with no kids comes from.

What if you had grown up surrounded by the idea that life is long and for 5 years after having babies you would need extra help from the tribe around you, that parenting is tiring in crazy emotional ways until you have done it for a number of years - and then adolescence hits and you need friends to listen to you when you are cranky, people to remind you that hormones and pregnancy and (if applicable) breastfeeding take years to rebalance and that it is okay, just as you don't expect your toddlers to be making themselves dinner every night right now, to expect that you will take a few years to feel like that old self again...mostly, because there will always be a stomach flu on Sunday night around the corner.

Instead of, you know, perky celebrity moms.

My kids are 6 & 11 and I am the strongest and fittest I have basically even been, but doing it while parenting is hard. It took me a while to get here. I don't mean suffer and forget your needs at all but...run the long race.
posted by warriorqueen at 4:28 PM on March 24, 2017 [11 favorites]


I recently purchased Sweethome's best essential oil diffuser and am loving it. Not because I'm into the essential oil woo, but it looks great (mist! pretty lights!), smells nice, and makes me feel like I'm at the spa.

As a mom to a little one, I appreciate that there's no open flame and it shuts off automatically if you forget to turn it off. Also, it's a cool mist, so if your kid manages to stick their hand in the mist, they don't get burned.

You can get non-MLM quality oils for pretty cheap and while I think it's fun to experiment with different oils, you can't go wrong with a few drops of lavender, citrus, or eucalyptus (or most brands sell some kind of pre-mixed "relaxation blends" or "energy blends" if that's easiest for you).
posted by mouse noises at 8:04 PM on March 24, 2017 [1 favorite]


I'm a guy, but a fairly new dad in his late 30's, so the experience might help here. I felt busted; my back was going bad on me, and I was tired all the time.

I started lifting weights, and chose Rippetoe's "Starting Strength" program as it's maybe 45m three days a week, and requires very little thought. My back is better now, and I have my energy back, plus I just feel better all around.

TLDR: try an exercise habit that's easy enough to stick to, and go for it.
posted by talldean at 2:13 PM on March 27, 2017


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